A Time for Us
by ItsLily2U
Summary: Lily Evans and Vara Markson have been best friends since their first year at Hogwarts. But when James Potter asks one on a date, how will the other react?
1. 1 Not Me?

Chapter One... Not me?

Vara:

Lily and I walk into the Great Hall, very conscious of the fact that 'Tiny Tina' is still trailing after us. She absolutely loves us to death and doesn't seem physically able to part with us. I can see Lily smiling at a group of first and second years as we make our way past them, and they just smile back in awe. She can always make a person feel important, just by that smile of hers.

Oh, did I introduce us? I don't think I did- so my name is Vara Markson. I am sixteen years old and in my sixth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I've got brown hair that goes to my chin, and these really annoying blue eyes- Lily's are green and I really do wish mine were like hers...but back to me- I guess I could be considered pretty- decent, at least- until you put me next to my best friend, Lily Evans. She's... one of a kind. I don't think I'm jealous... but now I'm ranting. I'm in Gryffindor House- which is known for being brave... am I brave? I must be- to hang out with Lily. Not that she's dangerous, or anything, it's just that to hang out with her means that people will have to see us right next to each other, and compare us- which -honestly- is my worst fear.

But back to what I was saying... I'm telling her about my Aunt Jill's Christmas Ball that she's been planning for over a year, and she laughs when I tell her about Jill's husband, who wants to put out these short, ugly muggle 'Santa' things that are supposed to look like gnomes, or something. And everybody hears her. Which makes them all smile, of course. Everybody smiles when they hear Lily laugh, it's like hearing... a veela, or something, I don't know... but everybody just likes to hear her laugh.

We sit down; Lily immediately pulls a plate of eggs towards her. She can't go without eating; she loves breakfast but hates mornings... she can put away the food though, small as she is and won't gain a single pound from it. She has about the weight of a baby kneazle- which isn't much.

Everyone laughs when 'Tiny' sits down on Lily's other side. Can't she go bug another person for once?! She drives me crazy. Lily of course, doesn't mind. At least she acts like she doesn't. I can hardly even stand to look at Tina sometimes. She's a bit bulky, with long arms, short, bristly hair, and broad shoulders- which aren't very attractive in a woman... ever. She is in sixth year, too- which, I am sad to say, means she shares a room with me and Lily... And Marietta, only she doesn't count- she's hardly ever in our dorm- she has a habit of snogging all the most eligible bachelors... and the unavailable ones. The only ones she hasn't gotten her dirty little paws on are the Marauders- the sixth year boys. By that I mean she hasn't snogged Remus, James, or Peter. Sirius, she has, because, well- who hasn't? He's the Sex-God. Remus is a good person- even Lily likes him. James- he's the most popular guy in pretty much the whole school and of course, he likes my best friend, leaving him unattainable to me... even though Lily doesn't like him- or says she doesn't. But really I think she does- only I'm unsure why she always refuses him. I wouldn't have the will power to tell him no.

What was I talking about before I got off on James? Er- the Marauders? Oh... Tina...she is always copying off everything Lily and I say, or do, or wear, and she likes to act like-

"Guess what colour robes I got?"

Speaking of the devil...

"Hmm?" Lily grunts. She hates being interrupted while she's eating- and can be quite the grouch when you do. I've learned to let her eat in silence unless it's _really_ important. Tina must be really thick if she's got the nerve to get on Lily's bad side this earlier in the day.

"Pink!" Tina says loudly. The more excited she gets, the louder- always a scary combination. Especially for a creature so much like a giant ape.

Lily chokes on her pumpkin juice, spilling it all over the table in front of her- which, in my opinion, was very graceful.

"Oh-er-that's good, Tiny-uh- Tina, I mean..." I say. Oops, almost slipped up, didn't I? That's the twins' nickname for her. Tiny. I think it fits. Lily forbids us to call her that to her face, which is kind of stupid, because she did the other day. But the twins were forced off the some bloody school in America, and they were the ones who like to pick on Tiny, anyway.

"Um- Tina? Why exactly did you buy dress robes in the first place? Are you going to a ball?" Lily asks rather bluntly. She doesn't even try to say it nicely- which is out of character for her. She is never mean, if she can help it. Wow. Maybe she really does have a bit of backbone.

"Always good to have an extra pair, don't you think?" I say quickly. Wow, out of character for me, too. I think Lily and I have changed souls, or something. Me, being nice? Geez, something has _got _to give. She doesn't honestly think she's invited to my aunt's Christmas Ball just because Lily is, does she?

"Oh- of course... I forgot, what colour robes did you get when we went shopping, Vara?" Lily asks. Much better, now I'm not so scared. At least Lily is trying to make up for her_ crudeness. _She knows perfectly well what colour robes I got- I know she does. They're light blue- my favourite colour.

"Um... anyway, I think I'll wear my hair down, and curly...what do you think?" I ask. Tina starts assuring me how beautiful I'll look, but I ignore her- I want my best friend's opinion...

Now, don't get me wrong here, I'm not a snob or anything... But unless I look extremely spectacular James, or any other boy here at school for that matter will never give me a second glance.

Lily isn't stuck up at all, either. This, really, if you think about it, is a bit strange, as she is the most beautiful witch at Hogwarts. I don't guess she really knows just how pretty she is- and even if she did, I'm positive she'd be completely modest about it. But really, most of the boys here do think she's the prettiest with her long, red hair, and bright, green eyes. All the girls want Lily's eyes.

"Lily, will you do my makeup and hair for the ball?"

"Well, I-"

"PLEASE?"

Remus:

Peter and I walk down between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw tables, to where Lily and Tina are sitting. Both are turned in their seats, looking at the floor, and laughing. I can't see what they're looking at, until we get closer, since we are on the other side of the table. Vara Markson is kneeling on her knees, clutching Lily's robes, who is shaking with laughter.

"Please, please, please, please?!"

"Vara! Get up!" Lily chokes.

"Morning, ladies." I say loudly, hoping Vara will see me. I feel I look quite good this morning. I've liked her for a long time, but she never notices me. I'm not daring enough to try James's method, bugging the hell out of her, like he does Lily, so I figure I'll just wait until the perfect moment...if there ever is one...

Right, so she does look up at me, and kind of blushes. How cute. Peter sits in front of Lily, and I take the seat in front of Vara, who slides back into her seat and picks up her goblet to hide her flaming cheeks.

I open my mouth to ask her out, oh-so-smoothly, but the doors to the Hall swing open, and James walks through them. Everyone watches him make his solitary way up Gryffindor table- I mean Everyone. With a capital E. Everyone. Even the professors. We all want to see how Lily plans on refusing him today.

Lily starts shifting through her bag, and looks up briefly to see James grinning confidently at her. She rolls her eyes, and goes back to her bag. As he strolls between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff tables, I pull out a long roll of parchment- the dates of every time he's asked her out. Quite a list, I can tell you.

James smiles his lopsided grin at Lily. She looks up at him expectantly and the rest of the Hall sits with bated breath. I chew on the end of my quill and wait.

He speaks. Hmm... Like the true god he is. "Will you go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend, Vara?" James asks, still staring right at Lily.

Um... that's not good...

Vara drops her spoon, and stares open-mouthed at James. Everyone else is still looking at Lily, who continues to flip through a stack of parchment. She had stopped briefly, when James had asked, almost as if trying to decide what fresh insult she was going to use today, but then she had continued to shuffle through her belongings.

I drop my quill and stare at James. "Prongs..." He shakes his head.

James knows I like Vara.

And I know he likes Lily.

WHAT is wrong here?

IT COULDN'T BE JAMES, COULD IT?!

Not fair. Vara is supposed to be mine... isn't she?

She finally closes her mouth, and says, "Sure, James," in a very quiet voice. Damn it.

Lily throws the last of her books in her bag and picks up a stack of toast... even though she just ate two pieces... and bacon...and eggs. Her cheeks turn a bright pick (a quite pretty bright pink) when she glances back up at James and Vara, sitting together.

She mutters something about needing to finish an essay, and stands up. I jump up and go with her. Heck, I don't want to stick around to see my best friend with my crush... maybe Lily feels the same way...

Again, everyone stares. I'm not sure whether it's because James didn't ask her, or if it's because she left Vara- which has never happened, or maybe it's a combination of the two. The two are never seen apart- not even once since the first time they met on the Hogwarts Express in first year. She tries to talk with me, tries to smile, but I see that she is somewhat hurt... confused.

"Lily- isn't it weird... he didn't ask you-"

"Oh, who cares? I would've told him no again, right?" Lily says, shrugging her shoulders and flinging her long curtain of red hair over her face. I can tell she isn't being honest... but I know her too well to argue with her... she always wins.

"Ah- well, okay..."

So that's where I am now, making the long walk up to the library, to finish my essay when I finished said essay the day we got it...

Lily:

So now, here I am, walking all the way up to the bloody library, when I really finished my essay ages ago...

While Remus and I walk, I submerge myself into one of my, as Vara, oh, I mean, _The Traitor_, titled 'A Lily Zone'. How dare she go out with James Potter! She knows that I like him, from that ever-so-not-like-Lily slip in fourth year... I told her that I'd liked him from the day I met him on the Hogwarts Express... In my 'Lily Zone' I remember that fateful day on the train...

"Oh-er-hi, my name is Lily Evans..." I said shyly from my seat at the window. I remember having my long red hair pulled into a very neat ponytail, and I think I was already wearing my Hogwarts robes. I was sitting with my legs curled up under me, and a massive book spread across my lap.

The boy in front smiled warmly at me, and stepped forward. He was tall, with brown hair, and grey eyes. He looked like the type of person that was always acting the peacemaker. "Hi-I'm Remus Lupin." he said, and held out his hand. I took it gladly, and I'm sure they all saw my face visibly relax- I was very relieved to finally see someone who seemed like a nice person.

I knew instantly I'd found a friend in Remus. I liked the way he smiled, and the way he acted already- I could clearly see how very mature and smart he was.

Remus was staring into my eyes-which, I've noticed, seems to be hard for people I hardly know, Mum is always telling me that it's hard not to... But he told me later he'd never seen eyes like mine- that just looking into them was enough to make you feel like you were being read like the open book that had been in my lap. Remus made himself look away. He pulled his trunk after him, and stowed it in the luggage rack overhead, and took a seat next to me. I'm sure my smile grew, and reached my ears, as I happily closed my book.

I know James felt my 'searching' eyes (as he calls them, now) slide onto him next, but he was looking intently at the hills out the window.

"Oh, right, this is Sirius Black and James Potter... my best friends." Remus said. "But apparently, they are incapable of speech right now, so it looks like I'll have to talk for them! Strange- usually I can't get either of them to shut up... but they are glad to meet you, too."

James' and Sirius' eyes snapped to Remus, who grinned cheekily at them, then turned back to face me. We immediately started talking about how nervous and excited we were to be going to our first year at Hogwarts.

"We can talk!" Sirius said, just a bit too late, as he and James took seats across from Remus and me, leaving their trunks by the door.

Oh, man did I have trouble keeping that smirk off my face.

"Oh, sure, but you can't look either of us in the face when you say that, now can you?" Remus said. He was still grinning at them, like he really thrived of making them miserable. Good job, Remus.

I had to try harder than ever to keep my face straight. Then I turned my attention to Sirius. He had black, shoulder length hair- which is what really makes him handsome... very handsome, I'll admit. But that doesn't mean it excuses the fact that he is as stubborn... and thick as a horses' arse, and probably always will be. Actually, he is pretty smart, but still. He had his grey eyes glued to the floor, but when he felt me watching him, he looked slowly up and gave me a very small, nervous smile. And I returned it.

James was running his hair nervously through his hair, a quality I've come to adore about him, when I looked over at him. His hair was black, too- so black it made Sirius' look brown- and it was very messy. Sticking up at every angle... kind of cute... His dark brown eyes were sparkling at me from behind his black-rimmed glasses. I loved that sparkly-look right off. Not that I'll ever admit that to him, of course. He blinked a few times before I smiled shyly at him. Why it had to be a shy smile, I'm not sure- but it was. I got nervous all of a sudden when he looked at me... He grinned back, and I swear, I thought I was going to melt from the niceness of it all.

"Hi," he said.

I just smiled back, and glanced at Remus. "So- what house do you lot hope to be in? I think Gryffindor, but Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad, would it?" I asked.

Anything to ignore that nervous, shaky feeling that was fluttering around in my stomach when he smiled at me...

I sighed. I knew then that it would take quite a lot to get James Potter.

"I didn't really need to come up here," Remus and I say at the same time and then laugh.

"Well, then, I guess we should go back down to the classroom?"

"Sure, Lily-flower," he says. Merlin, I love it when one of the Marauders calls me that. Except Peter- I'm sorry, but that's just a bit creepy... he looks so much like a wilted mouse, or something. Eww.

In Ancient Runes, I, of course, take a seat to myself. Vara doesn't like to sit near the back in this class, THANK MERLIN, but I can see James and Sirius sitting in their usual seats, a few desks ahead of me. They're talking quietly... quietly- the Marauders?! Something is obviously wrong.

And I have a sinking sensation in my stomach... I must have had too much toast... That... or the Marauders are talking about me. I can't concentrate on my work. Usually, I'll admit, I'm one of the best in the class, but right now, I can't think clearly. Why did James ask Vara? This is crazy... Merlin does my head ache... Why did Vara say yes? Is she out of her mind? Ugh... I think I'm about to faint... Thoughts are swirling around in my head like this, confusing me...

"Professor, may I go to the Hospital Wing? I've got a headache."

I know it's not good for a prefect to be skiving classes, but I cannot be in the same class as Vara Markson...

I sit in my dorm with the curtains drawn around me, counting the ways I can get revenge on the Two Traitors, angrily wiping away the few tears that manage to slip down my cheeks. After lunch, I move to the common room, my list of insults and revenge tactics growing longer by the minute... Jelly legs... Bat Bogey... Leg lockers... Is the Cruciatus still illegal?

I stay in the common room, until people start to come back from dinner. Then I hide in my four-poster, and put a charm on the drapes so that the next person to touch them from the outside would have their skin turned silver and green- Slytherin colours. Anything to keep The Traitor 2 away.

The Traitor 2 _does _come up and try to talk to me, but I ignore her, until she pulls back the hangings of my four-poster. She finds it empty, turns back to her bed, and screams.

"What is it?" Marietta cries from her four-poster.

Heehee- Revenge Tactic 1 executed.

I leave just as Vara starts crying, "It was L...Lily! Sh-she did...this t-to me!"

"It couldn't have been her- she wasn't in here! There's no way she could have left without us seeing her, alright? Vara, its okay... calm down..." Marietta says.

When I leave the common room, I can hear people talking... "What a beautiful cat! Did you see how tiny it was? I wonder who it belongs to!" A second year girl named Kambrie Alex says to her friend, Nora Thomas.

Hmm...

It takes two days until I feel brave enough to stay in the Common Room again. Vara is still in the Hospital Wing, and Merlin am I glad. I know for a fact that James hasn't been to see her... Revenge Tactic 2 executed.


	2. 2 Sheer Confusion

Chapter Two… Sheer Confusion

Vara:

Lily still isn't speaking to me. But then, technically, I'm not speaking to her either. She turned my skin _green…_ even though Marietta keeps telling me that it couldn't have been her- that she wasn't in the dorm. Yeah, um, I saw her run up the girls' stairs that night when I came in through the portrait hole. I know she was in her four-poster.

She could at least act a little bit happy for me; she was just going to say no again, right? But no-she can't. She's been refusing him for the last six years, and when he finally gets over her, she decides she wants him. Can you say possessive?

And how is that fair to me? She can never consider my feelings… actually, she almost always consults me before she does anything… except tell me she's got a _thing _for the boy that I'm dating, apparently.

Besides, if she really wanted him that bad, then she shouldn't have told him 'no' six hundred eighty seven times! And I know- I checked with Remus!

Hmm… I thought I set my alarm for seven… whatever- James will understand if I'm… a few hours late... He's late all the time.

Wait… it's ten o'clock… I was supposed to meet him and eight… guess I'd better quit musing and get ready…

I'm about to go down to the Common Room to meet James, so we can go to Hogsmeade. Lily is going by herself-it's the first time we've not gone together since third year… but I think she deserves to go alone, it might do her some good. She'll have time to think about how she's acted lately. I am expecting a long, sad, tearful apology when I get back from my lovely date with James.

Lily:

I hope Vara isn't expecting some kind of long, sad, tearful apology when she gets back from her -what I am sure will be horrible- date with James. How could it be anything but that if you go out with someone as unfeeling as him? Or _her_ for that matter- I'm sure they'll both have a bad time. All Vara wants to do in Hogsmeade is go shopping for new dress robes that she will never wear and walk around looking for possible boyfriend material. We decided long ago what boys in Hogwarts would be date-able. Back then, Vara assured me James would never be on top of that list. And, as far as I know, three years isn't 'never'- so I hardly believe he's on it now… or won't be after their little Hogsmeade 'Field Trip'. All James likes to do on a Hogsmeade visit is go to Zonko's for a couple hours, or try to find a new way into the Shrieking Shack.

Well, at least she's finally getting out of bed now. Her alarm has been going off for the last hour. I'm sure she misses having me wake her up in the mornings- like I have since the first day here. I woke up three hours ago, at six, like I do every morning. Good, maybe she'll be late meeting James… actually, I set her alarm clock forward two hours, so she'd get up even later than she should have…she wanted up at seven- and she's getting up at nine… well, it's ten now- but that isn't my fault, she should have gotten up when the alarm first went off, and she wouldn't be two hours late.

She's looking at the clock in disbelief- heehee! Revenge Tactic 3 Executed.

Since I had to lay here this entire time, just to see her wake up late, and scramble around, trying to get ready faster, I missed breakfast- and Merlin, am I hungry… I think I deserve to go down to the kitchens and get some food for my efforts. Then, it's off to Hogsmeade. My main target today is Zonko's… tomorrow it's Vara.

I saw Vara dash into the bathroom to take a quick shower as I stretched, and gave a fake yawn. Rolling out of bed, I can't help but think how much I wish it was me trying to get ready for a date with James…

But it's going to be a fun day- I know, because I just heard Vara's scream from the bathroom. Revenge Tactic 4 Executed.

I charmed her shampoo so that when you put it in your hair, it smells like a wet hippogriff- which is a really gross smell. She's going to wash it again, and again, until she thinks the smell is out, but really, she's making it worse- and she can't tell it is.

She-of all people- knows better than to make me mad.

I'm not the best in the school at Charms, for nothing, you know.

James:

The Marauders and I have been waiting two hours for Vara. None of us expected her to take so long- or we would have told her to meet us a couple hours earlier. You'd think that since she's Lily Evans's best friend, she be as punctual as Lily is.

"What can take a person so long, anyway?" Remus mutters.

We all shrug, because none of us are exactly experts when it comes time to the opposite sex.

"Can't we just leave her?" Sirius says grumpily. What's with him? It was his idea to go early, anyway. He came up with this brilliant prank for Snape…

I pause- because, if we do leave Vara, then it will ruin my Plan- and The Plan has to work- I've been working on it for weeks now, and it can't fail me- I don't know what I'll do if it does.

"No-we have to wait, remember? This is important to James." Remus says quietly. I look up at him and give a small smile. At least he understands.

"But what happened to the part where you don't even really like her?!" Sirius says loudly. And by that, I mean _really_ loud.

Remus, Peter, and I all glare at him. There aren't many people in the Common Room right now, but it only takes one person…

And that one person is Vara.

She's standing on the next to last step on the girls' stairs, one foot still in the air. Her expression changes from a smile to a look of pure horror. Great. She heard what we said.

"No- Vara-" I say quickly, and jump to my feet.

But she's gone before I can even take one step. I turn quickly to stare at Sirius. "Thank you, Padfoot." I say. My voice is hardly over a whisper, but I know he heard me.

And he's just staring blankly back, his eyebrows raised.

I hate it when he does that.

And he knows it.

He knows he just ruined my Plan, too… the one that he helped come up with.

I can't take staring into his grey eyes anymore, so I turn on my heel, and storm out of the portrait hole, praying that he won't follow me.

I still can't believe he did that… he must've known she was there, from where he was sitting, he could clearly see the girls' stairs… why would he do that? It was his idea to try to make Lily jealous by using her best friend… now, it's going to be back to me begging, and her giving me that icy glare, then turning back to her toast, like she's done every morning since the first time I asked her.

I turn a corner and find myself face-to-face with Severus Snape… _Snivelly._

He springs away from me, in a spider-like way. He's definitely not normal. I think he might be a vampire. Or a bat.

I can't look at him right now. I don't even feel like cursing him into a billion pieces, which isn't like me. He just interrupted my train of thought; I hate it when people do that.

"Potter…" he snarls.

"What is it, Snape?" I say, in a voice that shocks us both. It isn't mockery, or cold… it's almost like I am used to bumping into this overgrown bat on a regular basis. My tone is actually… civil.

Nobody is ever _civil _around Snape. Nobody.

He narrows his eyes in suspicion.

"What?" I ask somewhat defiantly.

His upper lip curls, and he leers.

Slytherins.

"Problems with Evans, again, I imagine?" he says. I laugh, and shrug. "Not much else could let your over-blown ego seem somewhat… deflated."

I snort. Not many people could make that sentence seem so- stupid sounding. He really is an idiot.

"Mudblood or not, I bet she's great in-"

I pull out my wand and jab it into his throat. He just smiles, showing his yellow teeth, and backs into the wall. Nobody in their right mind messes with me when I'm in this kind of mood, even I know that much.

"Don't you ever- if you even- how dare you!" I say harshly. I can feel my entire body shaking- he actually said that about Lily… If he ever hurts her I'll-

"Mr. Potter!"

I close my eyes, and sigh, then turn slowly.

Damn, it's Professor Dumbledore. He always shows up at the wrong time.

"Yes, Professor?" I say, and slowly lower my wand. I clench my jaw as Snape relaxes, and turns his cold, black eyes to the Headmaster.

"Follow me, please."

I nod, and give Snape one last look of disgust before I turn to Dumbledore, who is waiting for me. He called Lily a… a… well, _that. _The Marauders and I have been wanting to get him good soon… no. The Marauders won't help me with this- it's between me and Snape. Besides, Sirius might rat me out on this, too.

Professor Dumbledore and I are walking down a corridor that leads to the Owlery. He hasn't looked at me once, and I think he's waiting for me to say something first… but there isn't much for me to say, is there? It's not like I can try to tell him that I didn't do anything, either, because he was there…

I hate how some people can just walk in silence like this- it makes me feel like I have to say something… I can't stand that kind of pressure…

"I'm sorry, Professor." I finally say as we reach the end of the corridor.

He looks at me, and stops.

"He called Lily a… a-well, she's not pureblood, so he called her… and I'm not going to let anyone talk about her like that, and well…" I trail- off rather pathetically, in my opinion. But he obviously wasn't going to say anything, and someone had to.

"I understand, James." he says simply. But… isn't this the part where he tells me that I deserve four detentions or something like that?

"But- sir- am I not in… in trouble?"

"Well, I suppose, yes. You have detention next Friday, then." he says, and I can hear a slight note of amusement in his voice.

I've talked with Dumbledore before, I've been sent to his office, he's sought me out in corridors just to talk to me, but never in my six years of knowing him, has he ever thrown me off like he just did. The Headmaster is supposed to be _The Enforcer _when it comes time to things like this… right? I mean, he is the Headmaster, after all. You'd think he'd been willing to throw me out of Hogwarts, or something, since, as a Prefect I was… threatening another student.

"Well, have a nice day, Mr. Potter." he says happily, and turns to walk down the corridor we just came down.

I watch him go, until he's out of sight, then I begin walking again, unaware of where I'm going. I'm so confused about what just happened that I already forgot about today being Hogsmeade, and Snape insulting Lily, Snape talking like that about Lily, Lily not liking me, and my best friend ruining my Plan… well, I did forget it, until I just thought about it… did that make sense? I don't guess it really has to when you're musing…

Lily:

Mmm… I love showers. There's nothing I like better for my morning than a long shower, and a big breakfast. I love breakfast, too. But every morning, I have to hurry when I eat, because Vara-

No, I'm not going to think of her today…

But- she just walked into our dorm, and threw herself onto her bed… she should be downstairs with James… maybe Revenge Tactic 4 really did it…

Under normal circumstances, I would have been over at her side in an instant, making sure she was okay… but after all that's happened lately, I don't think I'll even give her a second glance, mean as that sounds. She wouldn't if it was me.

So, instead, I walk over to my trunk, and pull out my purse. The Traitor 2 isn't going to bog me down today. Going to Hogsmeade is my favorite part of the year.

The only people in the Common Room are the Marauders… minus James. The three of them look up fearfully at me, when I pounce happily down the steps.

"Morning!"

"Oh, hey, Lil." Remus says.

"What is with you all today? It's a Hogsmeade visit! How can you be anything but happy on a day like this? It's beautiful! And it's Halloween!"

Sirius is slumped onto the end of the couch, staring at me, his eyebrows raised. Remus is in a chair, sitting opposite him, and he keeps giving Sirius these, sad, disappointed looks. Peter is sitting on the edge of his chair, rocking back and forth in an extremely twitchy manner. He's nervous about something.

"Beautiful… yeah." Sirius mutters.

"Aren't you all going to Hogsmeade?" I ask. They aren't honestly going to pass up an opportunity to buy more pranks, are they?

"Yeah- in a bit." Remus says.

"Well- don't wanna go down to the kitchens with me, do you? I'm really hungry."

"Is there ever a time when you aren't either extremely happy or really hungry?" Sirius asks. He isn't smiling, so he's being serious… I think.

"Hmm… no."

"And you're proud of it?"

"You bet! So, are you guys going, or not?"

"No, I'm not really that hungry." Remus says. Peter and Sirius shake their heads.

"Alright, then." I say, and dash out of the portrait hole.

I dance down Gryffindor Corridor, and around the corner, but run into something very solid…

"Lily?" says a deep voice, and I find myself being helped to my feet. Funny, I don't even remember falling…

"S-sorry, didn't see… didn't see…you…" I trail off, as realization strikes me, and I stare wide-eyed into the face of James Potter.


	3. 3 Halloween

Chapter 3... Halloween

James:

I was still mulling over what Professor Dumbledore had said, when I noticed I just knocked something over- and that something is Lily Evans.

"Lily?" I ask, and hold out my hand to help her up. She takes it, and springs lightly to her feet.

"S-sorry! I didn't see… didn't see… you…" she mutters… obviously shocked to see me.

"Are you okay? I didn't mean to knock you over,"

"Yeah- um… fine." she says quietly. What's with her? She is hardly ever at a loss for words- oh. I've noticed she and Vara haven't been talking lately… ever since that day she left her in the Great Hall- the day I asked Vara instead of Lily.

She looks away from me, and starts walking down the corridor, leaving me standing alone. "Hey- Lily, wait up!" I say, and jog to catch up with her… only she doesn't slow down. "You in hurry or something?"

"Actually, I am." she says, with a quick glance at me.

"Well- where are you going?"

"Hmm… that's hard to figure, because today isn't a Hogsmeade visit, is it?"

"Okay… well, can I go with you?"

"Why? Aren't you going with _Vara?" _She says with a smirk.

"Well… no. I don't think she-" Lily stops so suddenly that I run into her. "Sorry," I mutter.

"Your not- what?" she asks.

"Er- I'm not going to Hogsmeade with her. I don't think she's so keen on me anymore. Thanks to Sirius…" I say meekly. I'm slightly confused- Lily refuses me every day for six years, then when I ask her friend out, the two stop talking, and Lily acts almost glad to hear me say we aren't going out after all? What is with people today? Everyone is acting the opposite of how they should…

"Oh." she says, and turns on her heel.

"Lily-" I say quickly, and put my hand on her arm to hold her back. "Why aren't you two talking anymore?"

She looks at me, then turns her head to the side about an inch. I love it when she does that. She squints her eyes, as if she's trying to decide how much to tell me. I'm about to go crazy, and start yelling how adorable she looks if she doesn't say something soon…

"Why do you care?" she asks, with a definite tone of amusement.

"Wh-" I can't even think of something to say. I can't tell her now… I can't… I won't!

She grins, and nods thoughtfully. "Okay, then." she says, and pulls her arm out of my grasp.

Does she always have to be this difficult?!

I follow her all the way down to the Entrance Hall before she turns back to me again. "Is there a reason that you happen to be following me through half the castle? Or do you stalk people on a regular basis?"

Hmm… definitely a redhead.

"No…" I say, with a grin.

She rolls her eyes, and flings her hair out of her face. I love it when she does that, too…

I push the doors open for her, and she brushes past me.

"So- what are we gonna do in Hogsmeade?" I ask, once I've caught up with her again.

"_We?_"

"We."

"So you plan on following me around all day, no matter where I go, right?"

"Pretty much." I say brightly. Lily doesn't even seem annoyed that she's going to be spending an entire day with me.

She rolls her eyes, but I can see her smiling…

Lily:

We just got back from dinner, the Marauders and I, and we're sitting in armchairs around the fire. James pulled his up to mine, with Sirius on my other side. We all have our bags of Honeyduke's sweets. It's a tradition for us sixth years- to sit around the fire eating candy on Halloween night. I don't really like Halloween, I never have, but I do love to eat sweets.

James isn't as bad as I always thought he is. We've had fun all day, wandering lazily in and out of the shops. We were both burdened with bulging sacks by the time we started back to the castle. James bought mostly pranks- the dangerous kind; while most of my money went for sweets- I have an addictive sweet tooth. I _was_ planning to buy a large array of pranks for my _former_-best-friend, but I feel that she has been 'Revenged' enough for now. Before dinner, I went up to the Dorm, and she was actually doing homework- which she never does. She didn't even look up at me when I walked over, and fell upon my bed, but I could still see her tear-stained cheeks.

"Oh, hi, Lily!" cries a voice. I jump, and look around, only to find Tina staring avidly at me from the portrait hole.

"Hello, Tina."

"Did you guys already start on sweets? Here, I'll be right back- I'll get mine!"

The Marauders all look sadly at me, so I shrug. "Just move your chairs up so that there's no room for her, honestly- you all act like she's never done this before…" I say with a smile. Every year, we always try to eat our sweets before Tina gets back from dinner, because if she runs out, she'll try to take everyone else's.

In one movement, we push our chairs closer to the fire, so that the arms off our chairs are touching those next to us.

"Geez, I'm almost scared- what's taking her so long?" James asks me, some ten minutes later.

"She's probably off blowing up another toilet," Marietta says, and pulls up a chair behind Sirius and me.

"What? Why would she blow up a toilet?" Remus asks.

"She wanted to test the effects of porcelain and exploding dung-bombs." I say sarcastically.

Marietta snorted, and leaned forward. "Lily, you tell the story- you were there."

"You blew up a toilet? Surely not _you_, Lily the Prefect?" James says, with a grin.

"Oh, please! If I wanted to do something against the rules, it would be better than that!"

"Oh, really? Like what?" James teases.

"Ha! I don't have time to relive my entire criminal record to you, if you want to hear the toilet story before Tiny gets back down here." I say loftily.

I can see the Marauders lift their eyebrows in shock. I know what they're thinking: Lily the Perfect Prefect? Lily the law-abiding, orderly, over-criticizing, sharp-tongued, innocent bookworm- a rule breaker? Oh, how much they do not know…

"Criminal record, eh? You'll have to fill me in sometime." James says.

I laugh. Maybe I will… "Anyway… so one day in fifth year, Vara and I had just gotten out of class, when we noticed Tina was running after us- and you know how she is- she can be quite… clingy. Right, so we took off running- honestly, we didn't want to be cornered by her. Well, there were loads of people in the corridors, and they were looking at us like we were crazy- I guess 'cause we were pushing people out of the way, and laughing like mad… trying to get away from her…

" 'I can't believe she's actually running after us!' Vara gasped as we ran around a corner, and tried to avoid hitting people. 'Quick- a bathroom- get in and hide in a stall- she won't see us!' I cried. We ducked into the bathroom, which, luckily, was full of people, and shoved ourselves into two empty stalls. There are only three stalls in this particular bathroom, and there was quite a line- and a lot of grumbling when we jumped ahead of all those people…

"We waited until most of the people were gone before we said anything- 'Ohmigod! That was so-funny!' Vara laughed.

" 'Yeah- do you think we're safe, yet?' I asked.

" 'I don't know- but I swear, if we hadn't gotten here as quick as we did, I would have exploded! That was hilarious!'

"I laughed at the… _absurdity_ of hearing this- just think what the other girls in that bathroom must have though we were talking about. She meant, of course, exploding from running and laughing so much.

" 'Okay, well, let's go- maybe we'll be okay to go to dinner- she could still be off looking for us..' I muttered.

"We opened the doors to our stalls, and at the same time, we looked up to see 'Tiny Tina' standing there, in line. We stared at her for a moment, then we really did 'explode' into fits of- _hysterical _laughter. We fell to our knees, hardly able to breath, we were laughing so hard. Tina ran over, picked us up, and set us on our feet- _literally, _which only made us laugh harder…

" 'You okay, Vara? Lily?' she grunted.

" 'Yeah- er, Vara and I _had_ to… _run_ in here- y'know…' I said.

" 'Oh, yeah, I figured something was wrong, the way you ran from me. I was trying to catch up with you because you left this in History of Magic…' she held out a blue and grey bag. Inside the innocent looking paper sack were dozens of 'exploding dungbombs'…" I say and pause to take a breath.

"Lily took the sack, because she'd- er- someone had bewitched to normal dungbombs for us so that they exploded when you tapped them, and threw them against something. They cause fire and smoke- the funniest things to use on an unsuspecting victim." Marietta continues for me. "So, anyway, Tiny went into an empty stall, and well…"

"Just as we went running out of there like mad, we heard the _strangest _thing! A toilet had _actually_ blown up! Oh, it was a terrible accident…" I finish.

Even the Marauders are laughing now.

"Too bad blowing up a toilet is beneath you, Lil- I always did find a sinister woman the most attractive thing," Sirius says, like it would be some great honor to have him find me attractive.

I snort. "Oh? Well, Marietta seems to know parts of the story pretty damn well, maybe she was there? I, as a prefect, would never do such a thing! _Blowing up a toilet_… That's pathetic!"

I look up in time to see Marietta's cheeks go bright pink- hmm… I think I've touched a nerve…

"Right, well, it's getting late, and I don't really care to see all of your faces when Tina does come back down here- and don't any of you dare tell her I told you that story, okay?" I say, and push back my chair. James watches me for a moment, then puts his hand on mine.

"I had fun today, Lil… thanks for letting me go with you," he says quietly.

I just smile back, and pick up my Honeyduke's bag. The second his hand is off mine, I miss the warmth.

I pinch myself just to be sure I'm not dreaming… and it hurt, so I guess I really am awake… James practically held my hand! Wasn't so bad, either…

On the way up the stairs, I pass Tina, who is loaded down with sacks off candy. She stops to talk to me, but I just keep walking, after a quick smile… It's been an exhausting day.


	4. 4 The Dream

**Chapter Four…The Dream**

**James:**

I walk up behind her, and wrap my arms around her waist. She looks over her shoulder at me, and smiles. We both lean over the edge of the crib, to look at the little baby sleeping there, with his jet-black hair- that looks like it will turn out every bit as messy as mine. He is smiling, even though he is dreaming, and we can hear him cooing in his sleep. Lily turns her emerald green eyes to me.

"Isn't he beautiful?" she whispers.

I nod, and kiss her neck. She smiles, but then tenses.

"James- did you hear that?"

"Yeah- isn't it cute when Harry-"

"No- I mean, downstairs," she says, and I can see fear in her eyes. I remember she has better hearing than I do do- being a cat in her animagus form- so I pull myself away, and walk to the door of Harry's room.

All I hear is silence, but I find that a dread has just come over me- as if I know this night is my last. It isn't possible- this isn't happening…

"James-" She says, and as I turn to her, I see tears in her eyes. We always knew this night would come.

"Wait here a moment, love- I'll be right back." I say, and give her a kiss on the cheek.

I hurry from the room, to the top of the stairs. That's when I see it. Through the window down the hall- the thing every wizard fears the most.

The Dark Mark.

"Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! Go! Run! I'll hold him off-" I yell.

I see Lily run to Harry, and pick him up, holding him securely in her arms. However, she stops and turns to look at me and a flash of bright light blinds us both

"James!"

I can feel myself being shaken- someone is yelling at me- someone very close…

"_Wake up_!"

My eyes flash open, and I find myself face-to-face with Remus. I push him back, and sit up.

"Where is she? Is she alright?!" I cry wildly.

"Who- mate, you were having a nightmare- you've been thrashing about for the last ten minutes- here, drink some water-" he says.

I take the goblet from him absently. "So it was a dream?" I say. Remus nods. "It was so real- I think it was one of my… no, that isn't possible… we were much- _no_…"

I notice Remus watching me with concern, as I drain the goblet, and attempt to set it on my nightstand, but miss. I jump as the goblet crashes to the floor.

"Is it still Halloween?" I ask.

"Wha- er- yeah- it's… ten thirty…" Remus says. I know he has no clue what I'm talking about, but that doesn't matter.

"Okay… night." I say, and lay back against my pillows.

I can feel Remus's eyes on me- but after a few moments, he lays back down on his four-poster.

**Lily:**

I sat up in bed, noticing the tears that have slipped down my cheeks. That dream was so real… I remember seeing James and… and Harry- our child.

But it was just a dream- dreams like that hardly ever come true… right?

I can see Vara, sitting in her bed, staring at me- she's looking pale… But she just looked away. She knows that I went with James today… er-yesterday.

I don't even remember falling asleep, I only know that I was trying my best not to- dreams like that have always scared me.

My alarm went off hours ago, but I ignored it. Maybe it's because I stayed up half the night,_ trying _to stay awake.

As I get up, and try to get dressed, my thoughts keep turning to the messy haired baby that had been cradled in my arms… my son. Even though it was just a dream, I can't help but wonder if that's what my child will really look like some day…

"Morning, Lily!"

I jump as Tina runs over to me. She's grinning, and she looks extremely happy over something.

"Hi, Tina…"

"I saw James earlier, and he said he wants to talk to you, if your not busy… hey, are you alright? You look a bit peaky, and I saw you thrashing about last night- it looked like you were having a nightmare. James said he didn't sleep too well, either…"

I look quickly up at her. "What does he want to talk to me about, Tina?" I ask.

"Oh… I don't know… he didn't really say anything else."

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Well, I saw him at breakfast, and sat by him…" Poor James… "…we started talking about Halloween…" I'm sure she means that _she_ started talking about Halloween. It's hard to make yourself have a two-way conversation with Tina. "…and I said something about walking up to our dorm last night, and finding you thrashing about… he wanted to know what time I came up here… I told him it was around ten twenty- weird question, eh? Then he said he didn't sleep well. Oh, and he asked if you said anything in your sleep."

"And… what did you… what did you tell him, Tina?" I ask quietly.

"All I heard you say was 'Isn't he beautiful?' and something like… 'James- did you hear that?'"

"You told him that?!" I cry. I'm never going to live this down… she told him I had a dream about him… now I'll never have a chance.

She blinks, then takes a step back. "Well, he asked…"

"And you didn't have to answer!" I yell.

Vara rolls over, and peeks out from under her blankets. "What's going on?" she asks groggily.

"Nothing!" I snap, and pick up my bag.

"Lily-" Tina says, but I have already slammed the door to our dorm.

I sling my bag over my shoulder, and stomp angrily down the stairs. The Common Room is packed with Gryffindors, and I can hear someone calling my name, but I ignore them as I slip quietly out of the Portrait hole.

I made it all the way down two flights of stairs before he catches up with me. _He_ as in James Potter… who _else_ 'shows up' just when I need to be alone?

"Lily- can I talk to you for a minute?" he asks.

I keep walking- I'm heading for the Library, the only place I can get peace and quiet- or _could _get peace and quiet- if James wasn't following me.

"Because I think we should- Tina said y-"

"Who cares what Tina said? She's an overgrown-"

"Lily, please listen to me, _please." _he says in a tone so sincere, I can't help but stop, and turn slowly to look at him.

"Fine." I say.

"She said that you were having a nightmare- what was it about, Lily?"

I lower my eyes to the ground, and try to avoid his. I can't tell him that I had a dream about the two of us married; with a son that is one-year old, can I?

"I was about to be murdered." I say quietly.

James's eyes grow wide, and he takes a step forward. "You said 'Isn't he beautiful'…"

Is any of this even relevant?!

"Yeah- and you were there, too, alright? We had a house, and Voldemort was there!" I say loudly. Tears are stinging my eyes, and I can feel my breath coming in short gasps. "Anything else you need to know, or will that do for today?!"

He stares at me in disbelief, before taking another timid step towards me. "Lily- his name- was it Harry?"

**James:**

I chew nervously on my lip as I watch her stare at me. I know this isn't the easiest conversation for either of us to have, but I need to know.

We studied Dream Interpretation a few weeks ago, in Divination… even though when we did, everyone thought it was stupid- especially when Professor Trelawny (Sr.) said that I was going to die a long, painful death on April Fools Day because I had a dream about Quidditch. But if you read the section on 'Shared Dreams' then it tells all about how two people can have the same dream, at the same time, then it could come true someday- on the day that the dream occurred, For instance, the dream Lily and I shared could come true someday- on a Halloween night… at ten thirty.

"You- you had the… your dream? Did you… he was… yes…" she whispers, and I can see the same fear in her eyes that I saw in the dream. She understands now.

I just nod and watch her sink to the floor. Her jaw is clenched and even as I watch, a single tear slides down her pale cheek.

"Look- Lily, it might not even be real- I could be overacting- I just had to know if you had the same dream, because, well… I just had to know…"

"Just had to know…" she repeats, and looks sadly up at me.

"I'm sorry."

That's all I can say: I'm sorry. This girl could someday be my wife, and that's all I can think of to say.

It's TOO early in the morning for this.

No… it's TOO early in my life for this… _our_ lives.

"Have you ever had a dream like this before?" she asks quietly.

I can't lie to her, now… can I? No- I have to be honest… brave. "Yes."

"And they came true…" she whispers.

"Well, yeah… but it was just stupid stuff, like what was going to happen for Quidditch, and how I was going to do on exams… nothing serious…" I say, and lower myself onto the floor beside her, my back against the wall.

"James…"

"Yes?"

"Are you scared?" She asks, and moves closer to me, laying her head on my shoulder as she does so.

I hesitate, not knowing exactly how to answer- yes, I'm scared, but I don't want her to be- I have to be strong for her…

"Yes, I am…" Okay, not quite what I meant to say… "But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to-" I pause, as my eyes fall upon a dark figure at the end of the corridor. "What are you doing here?" I snarl.

"_Now, now, Mr. Potter, where are your manners?"_

I rise slowly to my feet, purposely stepping in front of Lily. "You know nothing of manners." I say, and without meaning to, pull out my wand.

"My, my! Someone _should warn_ Professor Dumbledore about your temper! Oh, however did I forget? You're a _Potter_, which puts you above the rules, of course. And who is it you are trying to- _ahh._ _Lily Evans. _The Mudblood that believes herself above the infamous James Potter. _So…_ have you finally given in to the continuous efforts to 'win over' your heart?"

"Listen, Malfoy- I'll give you about- _ten _seconds to get out of my sight before I curse you-" I say, somewhat viciously and raise my wand. I can hear Lily getting to her feet, behind me.

"A student threatening a member of the School Board? Hmm… I do believe I will be off to have a quick chat with Dumbledore… Good day to you, Mr. Potter… Mudblood Evans…" he mutters.

Lily puts one hand on my arm, and we both frown at Lucius Malfoy as he strides confidently past us.

I wait until he goes around the corner before I look down at Lily. She's scowling at the other end of the corridor, where Malfoy stood seconds before. "Sorry 'bout that…" I mutter, and lower my eyes to the ground.

She looks up at me in surprise. "Why?"

"Why? Because you get enough of all that… pureblood rubbish around Slytherins without getting it from people like him, too… He only said that about you because the Malfoys and Potters have always been neck-and-neck. He graduated two years ago, and he thinks he is better than everyone who isn't a pureblood, or anyone who will associate with those who aren't… He's only on the School Board because his family has a load of money. He's very well connected to the right people, so that if he ever needs a favour… well, that doesn't matter… he'll get what he deserves, I hope…" I say quietly, without looking at her.

"James…" she whispers, and smiles sadly at me. She timidly takes my hand in hers, as I look slowly down at her. I feel like there are a thousand snitches in my stomach, all fluttering around in my stomach, trying to get out- _she _took _my _hand_…_

We went from her giving my icy glares in the hallway- because of the whole Vara-incident- to her lying on my shoulder, and holding my hand. Hmm…

I could get used to this.

**Vara:**

I don't know _who_ Lily Evans thinks she is- but I know one thing- she is not my friend. I know she had something to do with my shampoo yesterday, and my alarm going off two hours later than I set it! How do I know this? Because I just went down to the Common Room, and saw _them_ sitting together. Yesterday, he's going on a date with me, today however, he's cuddling up to Ms. I'm-too-good-for-you-until-you-try-to-date-my-friends!

I went down the stairs, planning to get some homework done by the fireplace, when I look up to see James sitting on the couch, with Lily next to him. They were talking with Sirius, Peter, and Marietta, all of whom Lily swore up and down just last week that she couldn't stand. She was giggling, and holding his hand, and everything. Gross.

I'm not one to sit around and watch a girl flirting with my man, so I came up here to decide the best way to get them back… she'll regret this…

I really cannot believe her! She obviously has no feeling- if she has the nerve to try to start something with James Potter before I'm through with him! She will not get away with this, I won't let her… She knows better than to mess me! I'm not the best in Charms for nothing! Okay, well, I'm the worst in Charms, but what does that matter? I can find some way to get her back, I know I can.


	5. 5 Hiccoughs and Hippogriffs

**Chapter Five… Hiccoughs and Hippogriffs**

**Lily:**

"LILY!"

"Wha-?"

"Get up! James said he'd wait for you this morning, remember?" Tina yells happily. I groan, and sit up. For some reason, whenever something other than my alarm wakes me up, I tend to be in a grouchy mood… I don't know why, but I guess I just prefer the blaring of the round clock on my bedside table.

Wait a minute… Tina had to wake me up? Why didn't my alarm go off? It had better not have been Vara, the little Traitor.

"James?" I mutter, then throw the covers off, and jump out of bed. Last night, the Marauders and I stayed up late by the fire, eating the last of our Honeydukes sweets. When I said I was going to bed, James jumped up and walked me to the girls' stairs and asked if I wanted him to walk me to breakfast in the morning. I really had to retain myself from screaming, "Ohmigod! Yes, yes, yes, yes!". Or snogging him.

I seize my school uniform from the top of my trunk- grey skirt, white button-up shirt, and scarlet and gold tie. Vara is in the bathroom, of course- luckily, I took a shower last night, before I went to bed. I slip out of my lavender pyjamas, and into my uniform. I put a simple make-up charm on, just enough to show my natural 'beauty'. I leave my hair down for once, and pick up my school bag and cloak.

I don't want to appear too excited to see James, so I try to act my usual Lily-calm as I make my way down the spiralling stairs to the Common Room. I like having my dormitory at the top of the tower, but I kind of wish there weren't so many stairs, sometimes. _Sometimes_, like right now- when I'm so excited that I feel like I'm about to burst- oh- there's James, sitting on the couch, laughing with Remus-his hair is just-got-out-of-bed messy, and his cloak is laid out on the cushion next to him, with his bag.

He looks up at me and grins… under normal circumstances, I would have almost melted, but right now, I want breakfast! But he does look nice…

"Morning, Lil," he says brightly, and stands up as I walk over to him.

"Morning." I reply. His eyes are sparkling… I like that, too, come to think of it.

I smile sheepishly back, and shift my book bag so that it's more comfortable.

"Hungry?"

"Mmm-starved."

He laughs, and throws his bag over his shoulder. "Then let's go, shall we?"  
As we head towards the portrait hole, I can hear someone whisper, "Awww… don't they look cute together?"

I can feel my cheeks redden as James looks at me. His cheeks aren't all that pale, either. I catch his eye, and we both laugh out loud.

"Well… glad that we're getting some positive… remarks." he says. I look up at him quickly- what does that mean? That he thinks we're an 'item'? Not that I'd mind us being a couple, but- I'd kind of like to know before all those gawping idiots in there. Especially Vara- I saw her sitting at a table staring at us. Not a good stare, either. It wasn't exactly surprise, and it wasn't hate, either, I don't think… it looked a bit like jealousy, and honestly, I'd prefer the former.  
"So… sleep better last night?"

"Loads better. My dream was about my sister and her wedding- she got some kind of huge warts on her face, it was hilarious. I had to be her maid of honour, and I was laughing all the way down the aisle. But Tina woke me up just as I was laughing so hard that my sister threw her bouquet at me- very friendly, she is." I said seriously.

"Is your sister really like that?"

"Well, if it was really her wedding, and she did get those ugly warts, and I was laughing at her, she'd do something more along the lines of running away during the ceremony, actually. She's very melodramatic and emotional- she cries about everything. You should have seen her when I got my first Hogwarts letter. She cried like a baby- only I think it was more of happiness that I'd be leaving…"

"Oh…" he says quietly. Was that sadness in his voice?

"But I don't plan on going to her wedding, anyway- she's planning it during the school year, just so that there's a chance I might not be able to go, which is fine by me… _you_ don't have any brothers or sisters, do you?"

"Oh- no, I don't. Sometimes I think I'm glad, too." James says. I laugh, and he looks up quickly at me. "Doesn't she like you at all?"

I burst out laughing now- the look on his face is priceless. "No, I don't think she does, honestly. She's a muggle, so she doesn't really understand the whole my-sisters-a-witch-but-the-rest-of-our-family-isn't thing. She's ashamed of me- because I have magical blood. But I don't really mind. I used to, of course, but now, it's just normal for me. My Grandma Margaret died a few years ago, of a muggle disease- cancer- and Pet blames me because I couldn't help her. But I had just finished my first year, and there isn't really much you can do, is there? If I could have, I would… but I didn't know how. That's why I want to become a Mediwitch so bad- to help people like that when they need it."

I look up at James. His eyes straight ahead, and unmoving, and he doesn't say anything back to me, but he takes my hand in his.

I don't really like that far-off look in his eye- what does it mean? What is he thinking?

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"What? Oh, yeah…" He says distractedly. "You okay, Lily-Cat?"

What did he just call me? How does he know that… oh, yeah… that stupid dream!

I nod, then frown, and watch Darien and Ian Wood walk by. They're brothers, and in Ravenclaw. Darien is Head Boy, and Ian is a sixth year prefect. They've both asked me out a few times- I rejected them, naturally. They always have a horde of drooling girls following them around. Once, after I refused Darien, I saw him walk over to a girl and say, "Well, looks like I will have to go to Hogsmeade with you, after all…" in a gloomy voice. The girl, I am sad to say, was in Gryffindor, and she was absolutely giddy over the idea of going with Darien Wood, even though he just got rejected by another girl.

**James:**  
Ever since Lily told me about her sister, that's all I can think about. How horrible it must be for her to have to live with someone so… cruel. I'm glad I don't have any brothers or sisters. I feel sorry for Lily, I really do- not that I'm going to say that to her- she probably hates pity as much as I do. Whenever someone says that they feel sorry for me, I take it as an insult- I know they probably don't mean to offend me, but they always do. I hate people thinking they have to pity me, for whatever reasons.

I know Lily must be thinking I'm ignoring her, or that I don't want to talk to her, or something, because I've been unusually quiet for _me_… usually I'm the one doing all the talking. But I can't stop wishing Lily had been born into a better family- not that I mean- well, okay, I just wish she didn't have to live with that Petunia person. She gets enough through the whole Pureblood issue from Slytherins and that Malfoy git, without her sister being mean at home, too.

We just walked into the Great Hall, and took seats- I can see everybody doing double-takes when they look at us. I know what they're thinking- 'Lily Evans finally agreed to go out with him?' But really, we aren't actually dating, and we're not an item, or anything… I wish we were, but we aren't. She probably still hates me, and feels sorry for me because of that stupid dream.

"Hey, James, it's time to go to Binns class…" Lily says some time later.

I look up in surprise. "Oh, great. I can't wait- it's my favourite class." I say. She gives me an incredulous look. "I'm just kidding- where else can you get a full hour and half of sleep?"  
She laughs, and drains the last of her pumpkin juice. "Oh, great…" she mutters.

"What?"

"I'm gonna get hiccoughs- just watch- I'll be-" she stopped and rolled her eyes as a loud squeak escaped her lips. "Told you. I always get them if I drink my pumpkin juice too fast…" she says quickly, and she hiccoughs again.

"Five points from Gryffindor- you should both try to be one time for once!" barked Professor Binns as Lily and I walked into the History of Magic classroom. Lily and I look at each other, and I can't help but smile at the look of surprise on her face. Lily Evans has never lost a single point from Gryffindor. She's won us a bunch, just by answering questions in class, but never lost us one.

I take a seat in the middle of the room, with Sirius, and Lily sits in the desk next to ours, as the tardy bell rings. "Professor?" I say loudly, and raise my hand.

"What is it, Parker?"

"It's Potter, sir. Lily and I were on time- why did we lose points? We were in our seats before the bell rang."

Binns just stares at me, like he's never seen me before. "Alright then, Porter, no points taken away for being late. Instead, you lose _ten_ for going against what I say." I sigh, and let my hand drop back onto my desk.

I hear Lily sigh, too, so I look at her. She glances up at me and mouths, "That old git!"

I laugh, just as she hiccoughs, and Professor's ghostly eyes snap to us. "Something you two would like to share with the class?" he says in a voice that grates my ears and makes me cringe. How can Dumbledore let this this _old git _teach a class? I mean he's a ghost! He even makes the Troll Attack of 1398 sound boring. If any other professor taught this class, then I'm sure a lot more people would actually pay attention. I don't know how he can manage to make even the bloodiest of wars sound like they were as boring as this class!

"No, sir, I was just asking Sirius what page we're supposed to be on, since James and I were late, we don't know." Lily said evenly.

Wow, I have to hand it to her; she can keep a straight face when she wants to. Even when she's lying to a teacher.

"Page 467, Ebbans, and if you interrupt my class again, it will be detention for both of you!"  
Lily nods and catches my eye. We both smile, and turn to our books, so we don't laugh again.

I wait until Professor Binns is way into his usual droning on over the War of 1204 before I toss a note over to Lily. She has her chin resting on her hand, and looks so cute, staring out the window. The note falls on her blank parchment, and I can't help but laugh as she stares at it with a far-off look in her eyes.

Finally, she unfolds the tiny bird, and reads the note before picking up her quill, and dipping it in her lavender ink. Then she folds it into the shape of a tiny lion and tosses it back. It says:

Dearest Lily Flower  
That was a great cover-up… I couldn't think of anything to say! You'd make an decent Marauder- if you weren't a girl, that is… and don't you even dream of losing any more of those points that I won by winning at Quidditch! -James

Oh, you are so sweet, James! I'll try to keep that in mind. Everyone knows how often I need to be reminded not to lose any more points, since I've lost sooo many since I've been at Hogwarts! -Lily  
**And of course I'd make a good Marauder!**

I carefully fold the note, and slip it into my bag. Checking to be sure Professor Binns isn't looking; I sneak across the aisle and into the seat next to her. Her eyes grow wide- she doesn't want to get into any more trouble, I can tell by that look she's giving me. But it can't wait.

"Lily-"

"Shh!" she hisses.

"Oh, he isn't going to hear me…" I lower my voice to a whisper. "I just wanted to say that I'd love to get to know you better… will you go for a walk with me tonight, around midnight?"

Lily cocks her head, in a curious way, and narrows her eyes, but she smirks in a knowing way. "Didn't you forget we already made plans?"

"We- we did?"

"Yeah." she says wickedly. "Don't you remember?"

I can only stare at her, wide-eyed. What is she talking about? When did I make plans with her?

"You have to tell me what our other plans are before I'll agree to go."

"We… we-er… are-"

"Edwards! What piece of information did the goblins receive in 1203 that made them lead the attack against the- Edwards? Are you even listening to me?"

**Lily:**

James and I jump, and look up into the sour face of Professor Binns. He was staring at me- so I guess that's who he was talking to. He never gets any of our names right; it's extremely annoying.

"Sir, my name is Evans." I say, in a clear voice. Like he'll remember.

"Well?"

"The trolls sent a false piece of information to the goblins, in hopes that they would lead an attack on the current Wizard Confederation, and they did, sir."

"And why did they want that to happen, Palmer?" Binns eyes turned to James, so we all assumed Binns was talking to him, but I guess it's hard to tell when he can't get our names right.

"Because they-"

"Raise your hand before you speak, Proctor!"

"Sir, my name is _James Potter_." James says, in the same loud, clear voice that I'd used moments before.

"Ten more points from Gryffindor- and a detention to-" he gestured toward James and me, like he couldn't remember our names- and he doesn't, of course. "You two." he said after a long pause.

There is a collective gasp around the room, and every eye turns to me. I've never gotten a detention before.

"We didn't do anything!" James says loudly.

"And you may kindly leave my classroom. Both of you." Binns says in his oily tone.

"Alright, I can probably sleep easier in my dorm, anyway. At least there, I don't have to listen to your annoying voice." James says, and gives him a dirty look, then picks up my books for me. I'm staring at Professor Binns- there is no way that I just got kicked out of a classroom, too!  
James pulls me to me feet, steps across the aisle to where his books are, and piles them into his bag. Then he has to drag me from the classroom; my eyes are still on Professor Binns. I don't look at James until he slams the door shut.

"What just happened?" I ask.

"Well, I just made you get a detention, kicked out of class, and lose twenty points, all in one go… I'm sorry." he says apologetically.

I stare at him for a moment, then grin. "I've never got kicked out of a class- where do we go?" she asks, as my eyes light up.

James laughs, and says, "Anywhere you want, my Lady."

"You mean we don't have to go to Professor McGonagall or Dumbledore, or anything like that?" I ask.

"No…" James says, and I can see him trying to keep his face straight.

"Wow!" I say softly, and look out of a nearby window. "A whole hour..."

"Well? Where shall we spend our hour of freedom?"

"Hmm… I don't know- you pick- I'm sure you know the castle better than me."

James grins mischievously, and nods. "Trust me?"

I narrow my eyes suspiciously. "Why?"

"Just answer- do you trust me?"

"Umm... No."

"You don't trust your own boyfriend?" he asks me, widening his eyes.

"James..." I sigh. How can he be doing this to me? "You're not exactly my boyfriend."

"Lily..." He takes my hand. "Trust me." He kneels and sticks out his bottom lip. "Please! PLEASE! _PLEASE!"_

"James, get up!" I pull him back up. "Fine, I trust you."

"Alright then, let's go!" he says, and uses his free hand to take mine, and pulls me down the corridor.

"James- where are we going?" I think I'm regretting my decision to trust him.

"You'll see-" he says mysteriously, and leads me down a flight of stairs to the second floor. "James- I think I've seen the Charms corridor before, did you forget? I am in the same class as you- speaking of which, we have-"

"Password?" says an old wizard in a portrait halfway down the corridor.

"Hippogriffs on parade." James says. The wizard nods, and the portrait swings forward to reveal a large hole in the wall, exactly like that of the Gryffindor Common Room.

"_Hippogriffs on parade?" _I scoff. What kind of idiot would come up with a password like that?_"_Where _are_ we?" I ask, as he drags me in though the hole.

We stop, and I get a chance to stare around the room. It's a large one with stone walls- a couch, an oak table, and two armchairs are grouped around the fire- all done in blue and silver- Ravenclaw colours.

"What- where are we?" I whisper.

"The Head Boy and Girl Common Room." James answers.

"The Head Com- James! We shouldn't be here!"

"Oh, please. Everyone else is in class! Besides, you've already got detention, and kicked out of a class- how much worse can it get?"

I scoff, and hit him playfully on the arm, then walk over to the fireplace to look at the moving pictures of past Head Boys and Girls.

"Wouldn't it be worth being Head Girl just to live here?" James asks me.

I nod. "I hope I am, someday…"

**James:**

She turns those beautiful eyes to me and we stop, our breaths falling into time with one another. "Lily..." I breathe, cupping her chin in my hands.

"Wh... What?"

"I might kiss you..." Oh, Lils, I'm thinking… 'might' is an understatement.

She closes her eyes and leans toward me. I can feel her breath on my lips. She smells of oranges and I lick my lips preparing to capture hers...

"POTTER!"

I am grabbed by the collar and find myself staring into the eyes of Darien Wood. Um… that's a shock.

"Well, well, well..." He snarls, looking from me to Lily. "Won't Headmaster Dumbledore be interested to know that not only are you two out of class, you've snuck into the Head Boy and Girl common room?"

Lily storms over to me and draws herself up to her full 5' 3". "I'd think twice about that if I were you, Wood..." she growls.

"Heh..." Wood snickers and turns to Lily. "Want me to leave your little boyfriend alone?"

Lily inhales deeply and glances at me. "Yes."

I stare open mouthed at her. What happened to 'Oh, James, you're not exactly my boyfriend!' "Erm... Yeah... Yeah! You heard her, Wood!"

Wood smiles. "All right... Only if you kiss me, Lily-Cat!"

No. He. Didn't. Only I'm allowed to call her Lily-Cat. Only I know about her... Darien must have overheard us this morning in the hall.

She looks disgusted and I can see her right hand moving under her robes. I know she's rolling her wand in between her thumb and index finger... I can't help it. I grin in spite of myself. "And why would I want to kiss a baboon's arse?" she retorts, acidly.

Darien is speechless and he looks at me for only a second, but a second is enough for my Lily-Cat and she has him in a full body bind before he knows what hit him. "Sorry..." She whispers, patting him on the cheek. "But you know..." She shrugs, turns back to me, and says, "Well, come on, James. What are you waiting for?"

I stare at her and as we make our way back into the charms corridor, I take her hand. "You know..." I say, proudly. "I'm thinking you would make a damn good marauder."

She scoffs. "I could have told you that much."


	6. 6 'I think'

Chapter Six… 'I _think_…'

Lily:

On our way to take seats next to the Marauders at lunch, James and I have to pass the Ravenclaw table, and can hear the Head Girl talking to Ian Wood, "I don't know where he is… I haven't seen him since he left Muggle Studies this morning…"

James and I smile at each other, and keep walking.

I wonder if Darien is going to tell Dumbledore what I did, and I'll get into more trouble…

"So… been an interesting day, eh, Lily?" Remus says as we sit down. I just laugh. "After you two left, the class hardly paid any attention… we were all too outraged that he actually gave you a detention- you've been six years with- why are you two laughing?"

"I think Lily's done worse than get a detention…" James says. My eyes grow wide, and I hit him on the shoulder.

"James!" I breathe. He can't go around telling people that I cursed Darien, or I'm positive I'll get into more trouble.

"It was worth it, though, wasn't it?"

"Well… okay, it was, I guess…" I say, and allow myself a small smile.

Maybe Darien will be too afraid of me to do anything, anyway.

"Thought so… and don't worry, I've done worse and the worst punishment I've ever gotten was three months of detention. It wasn't so bad, honestly!" James says quickly, as I groan.

"Quite the encourager you are, James, thank you so much…"

"Anytime, Lily-Ca… erm- anytime."

I shot him a death glare- if anyone finds out about me…

"So… we still okay for tonight, Lils?"

"Nobody calls me Lils, James."

"Why can't I? I thought you said I was your… what was it? Ahh… _your little _boyfriend!" he says, with a grin.

I smile sheepishly, and silently curse myself as my cheeks turn a brilliant pink. I always seem to blush right when I don't want to the most. And it's always around James.

"But-we… er-haven't… you can call me that, but don't expect…" I say quietly, unable to finish the sentence. I'd love to be his girlfriend, but I'd like him to ask me straight out, really… I guess I'm just a bit old-fashioned.

"What about tonight?"

"You never did tell me what our other _plans _were." I say wickedly. He can't have honestly forgotten!

"Aw, come on, Lily! Y-"

"You two have Prefect duties, you prat!" I hear Remus whisper behind James, as he collects his books and parchment.

"Right, see, I was just trying to see if you remembered, Lils! We have Prefect duties, of course!" James says quickly.

I roll my eyes. "Fine, I'll go with you, then. Since you _remembered." _I say, with a smile.

"Why thank you, Lily-Cat."

I look up quickly to be sure no one else is around. "James, really, someone is going to hear you say that, and they're going to know. Darien did!"

"He doesn't know why I call you that, he only knows that I did… How did you manage it, though? You have one more class than everyone else, and you've been a Prefect for two years. How did you find time?"

"Don't worry about it, alright? I'll tell you some other time, _when there aren't so many people around, _I promise. Now, come on, or we'll be late for Transfiguration, and I can't be the _rebel _anymore for today." I say, and pull him to his feet.

"Who are we supposed to go to for our detention?" I ask, once we round the corner to the Transfiguration corridor.

"Oh… I bet it's going to be Filch… but he's not so bad, really, now that Dumbledore told him that under no circumstances is he allowed to use his manacles…" James laughs. I like his laugh… a lot. "He usually leaves you somewhere to clean something, like the marble stairs, or something… he doesn't stick around to watch, normally. He isn't as strict as McGonagall, at least. Once she made Sirius and me scrub the whole of Gryffindor Tower, just because we 'accidentally' let off _one_ bloody dungbomb… anyway, you'll have me there…"

I laughed and looped my arm through his. "What a comfort." I tease.

He laughs sarcastically, and gently puts a stray piece of my hair behind my ear. We stop laughing as I slowly look up at him. We were so close to kissing earlier…

We stop walking, and as he leans down a bit, and I breathe in his scent… one that can only ever be James… it reminds me of Quidditch- and cinnamon.

"Hey, James! Your about to be late for McGonagall's class… oh…"

We jump, and frown as Sirius laughs. Then an arm reaches out through McGonagall's door, and yanks him in. Bless you, Remus.

I may never get a kiss from James- there is always someone to interrupt us… Fate would have it that way for me, though.

"Yeah… I guess we should… go…" he mutters. My guess is that he's thinking along the same lines as me.

Everyone gives us looks of surprise as I slide into the seat next to James. Sirius, whom James usually sits with, frowns at him, then sticks out his tongue. Wonder how long it took his mother to get him to reach that level of maturity.

James:

Lily and I just got done with our Prefect Duties- we had to patrol the corridors for an hour, then, when we got back to our Common Room, we had to fill out these really long forms titled 'How my position as a Hogwarts Prefect has bettered our school'. Really now, WHO CARES?! Lily and I pretty much wrote the same thing- it was kind of fun, I guess, going through hers, and changing a few words. I doubt Dumbledore would make us fill them out if he knew McGonagall gave them to us.

"Ready?" I ask.

"Well… no. But that's okay. You only live once, right?" She says with a shrug. "…do you think Darien is going to tell Dumbledore?" She says after a pause.

"No. He's probably as afraid of your bad side as I am." I say seriously.

She rolls her eyes. "Really, how are we… _is that an invisibility cloak_?" She says loudly, as her eyes widen.

"Yeah, it is…" I say proudly, and hold out the silver cloak to her.

She takes it, and puts it around her shoulders. "Wow… so this is how the Marauders get away with so much?" She asks, and spins around in the cloak.

"Er- yeah, anyway- shall we?" I say quickly.

"Sure." she says, and lifts up her left arm so that I can get under part of the cloak. I pull it up, so that it covers both of us completely.

"Where are we going, anyway?"

"I've got a few places in mind."

"Are you sure someone won't see-?"

"Trust me."

"Um- James? Remember how that one worked out last time?" She says after a slight pause.

"We can't get caught, we've got the cloak… well, we can't get caught as long as neither of us go around yelling, or bumping into people- the cloak makes us invisible, but we're still solid."

"Alright, I guess- let's go."

I grin in response, and pull her toward the portrait hole.

"Miss Lily?"

"Tossi?" Lily cries while spinning around, squinting in the dark.

"Here, Miss!" squeaks a tiny house-elf that just appeared out of nowhere at Lily's waist.

"Oh… you've been here before?" I ask. I hoped to take her somewhere she's never been… looks like I'll have to think of somewhere new.

"Yeah! How else would I have gotten through all those dreadful prefect duties _and _O.W.L's last year? I come down here all the time, don't I Tossi?" Lily says as she gives Tossi a hug.

"But not lately, Miss! Tossi has waited and waited for Miss Lily to come see her, Miss!" Tossi says. I step forward so that I can see her better. The Marauders and I come down here all the time, for snacks, but we hardly see any female elves… then again, it could be because they're so hard to tell apart. Tossi has big, green eyes, hair that could rival mine in its darkness, and a little red nose, about the size of a cherry… unusual for a house-elf… most have large noses.

The other house-elves crowd around us, eager to have Lily acknowledge them. She smiles around the ring of elves, and they all beam back. I don't know how, but Lily always makes a person feel… important when she smiles at them… but when she smiles at me, all I feel are butterflies- and snitches. In a good way, of course.

"I know, Tossi- I've been meaning to come down here, and say hi to you, but well, I've had a lot of work… You couldn't get us a good snack, though, could you? Because we've been patrolling and filling out papers all night…"

"Yeah, a sundae with lots of whipped cream sounds good!" I add hopefully.

"And Miss wants cherries and lots of chocolate?" Tossi asks.

Lily nods. I stare at her in surprise. Lily Evans knows where the kitchens are… I'm beginning to believe she really does have a 'criminal record', too.

We smile at each other and- not for the first time- I wish I could snog her… or just one kiss… every time we even get close someone-

"Here is your snack, sir and miss!"

Two large sundaes are being held out to us, each supported by four elves. I take mine, and smile at the elves. Two scoops of ice cream, smothered in hot fudge and caramel, with a mountain of whipped cream, covered with red sprinkles- just the way I like it.

The ice cream in Lily's isn't even visible for all the chocolate. It's topped with at least two dozen cherries- if not more.

"Mmm… thank you!" Lily says.

"Heh, fanks," I say through my mouthful of whipped cream. Lily looks at me and giggles.

"Come on; let's go before you scare the house-elves into hysterics, James." Lily says, and pulls the cloak over her head.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want that git Darien to find us here…" I mutter.

"Did I mention how hard it is to walk under here with food?" I ask as we wave goodbye to the house-elves.

"No… but let's go somewhere we can eat them… I'm dying to eat all these cherries!" We both laugh-then choke as Darien Wood flings himself around a corner.

"Who's there?"

Lily's smile fades into a look of deep disgust as she stares angrily at the Head Boy. We skirt around him, neither taking our eyes from him as we creep past him.

As we reach the doors that lead back to the Entrance Hall, we look back in time to see the portrait that leads to the kitchens closing. That nosy git, I hope the house-elves heard what we said about him and won't answer any question he asks- as he is bound to do…

Lily starts toward the marble staircase, but I pull her over to the oak front doors.

"Where-?" She whispers, but I shake my head and hold one of the giant doors open for her.

"Oh, isn't it beautiful out tonight?" She breathes once we are out in the fresh air.

"Yeah…" I say absently, not taking my eyes from her face. Beautiful is definitely the right word.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"Are we going to stand here all night?"

"What? Oh-right… sorry." I say, and slowly tear my eyes from hers.

I'm not positive, but I could swear I just saw her blush.

"This spot looks good, doesn't it? I love this tree…" I say as we reach a tall beech tree near the lake.

"Can we take the cloak off?" She asks. Something in her voice makes me look up at her quickly, my heart pounding.

"Y-Yeah…" I say, but neither of us moves. She's avoiding my eyes, but I feel the familiar need to kiss her…

"Lily… I like you… I like you a lot." I say quietly.

She looks slowly up at me, with wide eyes. "I… I think I really like you, too…"

"You think?" I've never known a girl like Lily. She always has me guessing- and wanting more…

"I think." She repeats.

"Wh-"

She places both hands on my cloak, and pulls me down closer to her. Her lips met mine in what could possibly be the softest -yet most passionate- kiss I've ever had…

She pulls away, slightly breathless, but even in the dark I can see her cheeks turn pink. "Sorry…" she mutters, and lowers her gaze to the grass again.

"Lily…" I say, and lift her chin so that she is forced to look into my eyes. I bend down quickly to kiss her again. I don't think I've ever moved that fast- even in Quidditch.

She uses one hand to pull off the cloak, as I take our sundaes and toss them away.

I could get used to this, too.

Lily:

"Lily… I know you said that you-er… but I think… will you be my girlfriend?"

I take his hand in mine, and smile up at him. "Course I will." He stares at me for what feels like eternity-but is only a few seconds- then slowly leans down to kiss me… a kiss so sweet and soft that I wish this would feel like eternity, too.

We pull apart, and he kisses me gently on the forehead.

He picks up the invisibility cloak, and tucks it into his cloak pocket, then wraps his arm around my waist.

"Too bad those got thrown away, eh?" He says, staring wistfully at the mound of ice cream on the edge of the lake.

I giggle and snuggle closer to him as we walk. It may be a beautiful night, but it's still a bit nippy- it is November after all.

"Well… good night…" I say, and turn to face him once we reach the foot of the girls' stairs. He takes my hands in his, kisses them both, then entwines our fingers together.

"Night, Lils." he whispers and tries to kiss me on the cheek- but I turn my head so that my lips meet his…

"On second thought… I think I'll stay down here a while…" I mutter as James and I break away.

He chuckles softly, then pulls me over to a couch by the fire, his arms wound tightly around me. We sit on the fluffiest side of the couch, and surround ourselves with pillows.

I've noticed a few things about James Potter over the last couple days. First, he seems more mature; he does little things like open doors for people, or smile at someone in the corridor who looks like they need one. Second, he's not as bad as I thought he was… before, I've thought of him as some arrogant, egotistic, rude, bullying prankster who liked to pick on Slytherins because they're in a different house. Really though, I don't think he's any of those things now. Maybe he never was- I just thought of him that way because I didn't want to let myself think anything else… Slytherins aren't really that nice, anyway.

"So… tell me about your animagus form, Lils- you said you would."

"Oh…" I say sadly. I was hoping he wouldn't bring it up again… but thanks to that stupid dream, it seems I have no choice.

"Please?" He pouts, his bottom lip sticking out.

I study him briefly, then take a deep breath. "Alright… I guess… but no one else knows… so I don't… I only ever wanted to in the first place because everyone always thinks I do everything according to the rules, that I am so innocent, and do everything I'm told… you know? It's kind of frustrating… My parents think I'm this wonderful, studious little angel, and well, I just get to feeling kind of… like I don't want to be good anymore- I wish I was like one of the Marauders… does that make sense?"

"Actually, I think it does." James says, and I feel a chill go up and down my spine- the way his eyes are boring into mine makes me feel like he's staring into my soul.

"You _think_ it does?"

"I think it does."

We both smile, and close the gap between us- bloody fast, too. I don't think I've ever moved so fast in my life.

James:

"Aww! Look at how cute they are!"

"How long have they been… 'an item'?"

"Oh… I was still hoping he would ask me out…"

"Shouldn't we wake them? Its almost time for breakfast…"

I open my eyes groggily, and jump. At least a dozen Gryffindors are watching me… what are they doing here? Where am I?

"Shh! You'll wake them!" Is that Remus?

"Think they already did, mate!"

Yep, that's Sirius behind me. He hates mornings, but once he's up, he can get quite loud. It's somewhat agitating when- on the rare occasion- he gets up before the rest of us, because he starts screaming at the top of his lungs, or brings out the water buckets. Its not a very nice way to start the day. Especially when you have Potions first period.

"Go away…" I murmur, and sink lower into the cushions… but I can't- something- or someone is resting against my chest… something with red hair… Lily?

Oh, yeah… we fell asleep in the common room last night-er-this morning.

"Oh, fine… get going, you lot! Out, out, out! You should be down at breakfast- go!" cries an amused voice. "James? I think you should be getting up too, mate… Remember? You have class…"

I shift so that I can see Lily's face better- just as her eyes flutter open. She blinks confusedly a few times, then smiles up at me.

"Morning, James…" she says with a yawn.

"Sleep okay?"

"Mmm… yes." she says, and looks up at Remus, Sirius, and Peter, who are all staring down at us with knowing smirks on their faces… prats.

"What time is it?" Lily asks, and pushes herself off my chest. I smile as she runs a hand over her dishevelled hair.

"A fine pair the two of you are- I'm still deciding whose hair looks more messier." Sirius says with his cheeky grin that I always find extremely annoying.

"If you ever paid attention to anything in your life- even once, you'd know that you never say 'more messier'."

"You just did."

"Oh sod off, Padfoot." I mutter as I help Lily to her feet.

Remus and Lily snigger, as Sirius pokes out his tongue. "Right, well, I guess I'd better go get ready…" Lily says.

I walk with her to the foot of the stairs… I don't want to leave her- even for a few minutes. "Don't be too long."

"You should consider changing, too, Prongsie!" Sirius yells with glee and sprints out of the portrait hole, leaving his bag behind him on an armchair.

"Yeah… guess I should… well, I'll hurry." I say.

Lily, Remus, and I turn to watch as the portrait swings open again, and Sirius dashes back into the common room, over to his bag. "Forgot this…" he says. "What, still staring at each other like a pair of 'star-crossed lovers'?"

"'There's a method to this madness,' Siri. There always is." Lily says with a smile, then turns to me, and gives me a quick kiss on the lips before disappearing up the stairs.

"So you two really are…?" Sirius says, with wide eyes.

I flash him a grin and run up the boys stairs.


	7. 7 The Much Anticipated

**T**Super quick a/n… well, kind of quick, I suppose… I just wanted to tell everyone who has read my story before that I've added songs to all the chapters at the beginning- well, one song- and I've changed a few things throughout the chapters… not much, though, so it might affect whatever happens here, but if anything confuses you in this chapter, email me ( at _) , or ask in a review- because reviews are very, very good!!_

Right… I also want to say thanks to any people who have read this before, and are semi-happy a new chapter is up… sorry its been so long!

I am a bit sad, though… only 11 reviews for six chapters? Oh, well… I'll expect more after I post this!! J So here's chapter 7!

One more thing… Meghan- thank you! You're the best Beta in the world!

* * *

A Time For Us

Chapter Seven… The Much Anticipated

A time for us

At last to see a life worthwhile for you and me

And with our love through tears and thorns

We will endure as we pass surely through every storm

Vara:

"So- I'll see you right after Quidditch Practice- I'll hurry back, I promise, alright?" I hear James say quietly to Lily. She's standing in front of him, looking sad because he had to go to practice. Ha! What kind of _girlfriend _can't give their _boyfriend _a little space? A controlling one- in other words, Lily.

'Well… I guess…"

Why doesn't she just go with him?

Just a few days ago, she would have been right here next to me, laughing at James's newest 'fling'… James doesn't date very often, but when he does, it never lasts- he gets tired of the girl after a week or so. These two won't last long.

Not if I have anything to do with it, that is.

Eww- they're snogging right here- in the Common Room! Isn't there some kind of school rule that prohibits that kind of thing from happening? If anyone should be kissing him, it should be me!

Finally, he's leaving… You know, I think I need a plan. Not just any plan, either… one that will get them apart, like they should be. A plan that won't fail… and for that, I need someone to help me… Someone in our year would be best, so that it won't look suspicious if I talk to them…

But who do I know that wants them apart as badly as I do?

Lily is sitting with Remus and they're laughing… he's too much of a good person to help out… kind of cute, too, but that's a different story.

Sirius, too, is there with them- he's too loyal to James, his best friend, to ruin his chance with Lily…

Marietta is at a table by the fireplace, only I'm unsure what she thinks about Lily and James together. That's on my to-do list, finding out what she feels… and she's on my list of possibilities…

Tina is obviously too obsessed with Lily to help out…

Which leaves… Peter. He's afraid of everything, and can't stick up for himself… why didn't I think of him sooner? He could be just the one I need… but where is the bloke when I need him? Not in the common room…

He's probably out watching James practice Quidditch- I'll start there.

Lily:

"You're late."

I jump as the spiteful glare of Argus Filch falls upon me.

"W-we- I-er… it isn't…but…" I stutter. _Where is James? _He said he was going to have plenty of time after practice- but he didn't come back to the Common Room. I only left when Remus told me I was going to be late… and obviously I am. But- my watch only says 8:52... James and I don't actually have to be here until 9 o'clock…

"Actually, I don't believe I've heard the clock chime just yet," says a clear voice behind me.

I jump again and whip around- then heave a sigh of relief. Partly because James is finally here- but mostly because for one wild moment, I though I was hearing voices. Which would scare almost any person in their right mind to death… right?

"Which means neither of us are late, Mr. Filch." James finishes, with a cheeky grin to the caretaker.

He smiles as he takes the empty seat next to me.

"Not so fast there, Mr. Potter- its off to the East Wing for the pair of you- you'll be up all night…" Filch growls.

"D-doing what?' I ask quietly before getting nervously to my feet.

"Scrubbing."

"Scrubbing?" James repeats. Okay, I'll admit, scrubbing doesn't sound so bad… "What kind of scrubbing?" he asks, now narrowing his eyes in suspicion.

"The kind that makes those nice, shiny chains look very friendly." Filch says with a smirk, and points to the corner behind James and me.

I steal a glance at the long set of chains that are hanging from the ceiling- _very_ near to where I happen to be standing.

Um… I think I changed my mind- I HATE SCRUBBING!!!

I share a look of disbelief with James as we follow the disappearing form of the caretaker. "Might as well…" James says, and takes my trembling hand. If I had it my way, I would not be here- but since I have to be, I'm glad James is here, too. The warmth from his hand strengthens me somehow- and I feel better just knowing he understands how I feel.

And if he doesn't, then he's good at acting. He is a Marauder, after all.

Neither of us say a word as we follow the slouching Filch, we simply follow him all the way up to the bottom floor of the East Wing.

"Wands." he says with a malicious glee, holding out his bony hand expectantly.

James sighs, but pulls out his wand and hands it over to Filch. I reluctantly draw mine from my robes, and lay it regretfully in his hands. I'm rather fond of my wand- willow, quite swishy- ten and a quarter inches long. I've always taken care of my beloved wand- polishing it and cleaning it faithfully. I remember the day I bought it, a little over five years ago- Mr. Olivander told me in his misty voice to take care of it. I never really liked that man, but I eagerly followed his advice. Nobody messes with my wand, and Var- well, my friends are constantly teasing me because I'm so protective of it.

Filch leers unpleasantly at us, then turns around so suddenly that I jump… again. This man seriously scares me.

I'd hate to be stuck 'scrubbing' for long with _him_.

So it could be worse.

Couldn't it?

I don't even want to get started on his cat…

"There's your- _supplies_." he says, and pulls a door open to reveal a very small broom closet containing buckets, brooms, soap, and every kind of muggle cleaning supply imaginable. "Every inch of this corridor had better be…_sparkling_ by the time I come back for you."

I swallow hard, trying to fight the impulse to run out of here, screaming like banshee. This corridor is at least twenty meters wide and twice as long- if not more… In addition, there are dozens of suits of armor- dirty, grimy suits of armor… this is going to take us forever- or until Filch comes back and lets us go- whichever comes first… but I'm not counting on him ever being that generous.

"James- this is going to take us ages!" I whisper frantically once Filch is gone.

"Aww- come on, it won't take us too long… better get started, eh?"

I nod slowly, and drag a large bucket out of the closet, which is filled to the brim with soapy water, icy cold foam floating over the edges. James tosses a sponge at me playfully, and grins innocently at me when I look up, desperately trying not to smile. We'll never get done if he plays around, and I cannot afford another detention.

"James…" I say.

"Whatcha' standing around for, Tiger-Lily? Shouldn't we be scrubbing?" he says seriously, but I can see that glint in his eye.

"Don't start with me, Evans, I'm a lot bigger than you," he says, slipping his wet robes off.

I slide my hand across the floor and grip the rim of the bucket. "Oh, really?" I grin mischievously and throw the water on James.

He looks shocked for a moment but just nods. "Hey, um... Lily... You know, there's something I've always wondered about you..."

"All right..." I say nervously. Seeing James serious isn't something I'm accustomed to. "And that would be..."

"Whether or not you're ticklish!" And he immediately starts tickling my sides. I squeal and start laughing and flailing around, sliding in the bubbles. He sits up and straddles my legs.

"No! Stop! Please!" I cry, tears streaming down my cheeks.  
He stops the tickle torture, but remains firmly planted on my thighs. "Um, yeah, I think you are ticklish." "Brilliant deduction." I see his hazel eyes darken and they roam my face, eventually landing on my lips. "Lily..." I lift my face to his but then we hear, "Evans! Potter! That hall had better be sparkling in another three hours or so! Now where has that cat gotten to?" 

James covers my mouth with his hand and we both laugh hysterically for a minute before I remember that he's sitting on me... And it's becoming quite obvious... "Erm... James..." I breathe, not exactly sure how to address this situation.

He captures my lips with his and everything fades into purple bubbles...

* * *

"You know, I've only just realized something." 

"Yeah? What's that?"

"He gave us _sponges_… wouldn't it have been easier to use brushes? I mean, _sponges_ for armor…"

James laughs, and wraps his arms around me, causing chills to run up and down my spine. "You have a point.."

"Don't I always?"

"Mmm…" he bends down to kiss me… oh, how I wish this kiss would never end…

"You'd better get off to bed- we can't have you losing any of your beauty sleep."

"Are you saying I need beauty sleep?" I tease, with a sad look.

"Not at all- but I won't have you staying up any longer- now go to bed, or I'll carry you."

"Really?"

"Maybe."

"What if I want you to carry me?"

"You'd better leave… I'm getting ideas, here." he mutters, his cheeks turning a slight pink.

"What does that matter? You've already- no, don't tickle me! Alright, alright, I'll go to bed- just don't tickle me, please!" I cry gleefully, trying to pull myself from his arms… but James only tightens his grip on my waist.

"Not 'til I get another kiss." he says matter-of-factly.

I grin, and get up on the tips of my toes to meet his lips with mine… nothing has ever felt so right to me as kissing James.

"Night, James." I say, as I pull slowly away.

"Night, my Lily-Cat."

"Your Lily-Cat?"

"My Lily-Cat." he repeats. I feel my stomach clench as he frowns. I don't like frowns.

"Can I ask you to do something for me?" he asks.

"Um- like what?" I ask nervously… still frowning.

"Will you show me your- your animagus form?"

I laugh, and turn towards the girls stairs.

"That's a no?"

"Night, Jamsie!" I cry happily over my shoulder.

"Where have _you _been?"

I turn slowly to look at Vara, and watch as her brow furrows in anger. I haven't done anything to her lately, and she has to be rude just because I happen to walk into our dormitory… at midnight. But really, I shouldn't have to relive my entire night to her- I was supposed to be out. But then she might go mad, and run to Dumbledore, or something… what if he knows what we did? He can't… nobody was there but me- and James… Hmm… James. I allow myself to grin as I look up at an impatient Vara.

I give a resigned sigh, and straighten my face again. "Bubbles." I say as I walk quietly over to my four-poster, tossing my soapy cloak onto the floor.

I jump as Tina comes bursting out of the bathroom, wearing a shocking pink dressing gown. Did I ever mention how much Tina likes pink? Scary.

"Lily! How was your detention- was it horrible?"

"Oh- it was-um… wet." I say, ignoring the puzzled look Tina is giving me.

I grin at the pair of them before turning and falling on my waiting bed. These pillows never looked so comfortable.

James:

"Oi! Prongs is back from his detention!"

I keep my eyes closed, and do my best to look asleep.

"Prongs? Prongs! Get up- you have to tell us how your detention with Lily went!" I take a swift peek around the room, only to see Sirius running over to me, tossing my invisibility cloak onto his bed, Remus behind him, closing the dormitory door.

"James!" Sirius whines. I snuggle my head deeper into the pillows, hoping that if I keep my eyes shut long enough, he'll go away and let me sleep. After my-er- _exhausting_ detention, I think I'd rather sleep… Not that I'm planning on not telling the guys, because I am- but right now, my priority is sleep…

"Prongs, Prongs, Prongs…" Damn, guess it doesn't work, then. "When will you ever learn? We've known you for six years- and that's definitely long enough for me to know when your not really sleeping… alright… Moony, Wormtail- where are that flask of pumpkin juice I've been saving since second year? Isn't it-"

"You are absolutely disgusting, you know that, right, Padfoot?" I say sleepily. I know _him_ well enough to know that he would really pour that stuff on me if I don't get up.

"Ahh! Prongs, mate- you are up! I didn't wake you?"

I sit up so I can see him clearly. "Where've you been?" I ask suspiciously.

"Around."

"Where's _around_?"

"Don't worry, Prongs, we stayed away from you and Lily. You had detention with Filch, which means Mrs. Norris was there- and that cat can see through this cloak, I think." Remus says. He always seems to be able to read my mind, and say just what I need to hear. I was beginning to think they might have been 'around' near Lily and me… which would be quite embarrassing.

"So how was it?"

"How was what?" I say quickly.

Sirius gives me an incredulous look, then settles himself comfortably at the foot of my bed, still staring at me. "_How was what? _Are you alright, Prongs?"

"What? I'm fine!" I say defensively.

Remus, too, takes a place on my bed, his eyebrows raised. "Your detention, James, your detention."

"With Lily!" Peter says happily.

"Oh… that…" I say, with a smile.

"What did you have to do?"

"Scrub that long corridor in the east wing- first floor." I say, picking at a hole in my blanket. They shudder, but stare at me with bated breath, waiting for me to finish. "Filch took us up there, and gave us the buckets and all, and said we would have to be done in a couple hours… then he left."

"Filch left?" Sirius says loudly, eyes widening. "That has to be some kind of school record!"

"Yeah…" I say with a dreamy smile.

"Okay, but what happened with you and Lily?" Remus asks.

"Something happened, right?" Sirius says.

"Did you actually scrub?" Peter says, his nose scrunched up in disgust.

"Lots… yes… and no." I say slowly, answering each of their questions.

"WHAT HAPPENED?" Sirius and Remus yell suddenly, causing Peter and I to jump. They grin at each other, then look back at me. Bloody hell, talk about pressure.

"Fine… we did actually work for a while- well, okay, Lily actually worked for a while, I just sort of put bubbles on things, then moved on… and after an hour or so, I walked over to where she was, and started a bubble fight, cause it was too boring, you know…" I say slowly, and try not to laugh at Peter. His mouth is hanging open in awe, and every few seconds, he sighs contentedly. "And I ended up tickling her, she tickled me- she's stronger than she looks, just so you know… and then, well… I sort of kissed her, she kissed me… things got a bit… well, we were there quite a while…"

I slowly raise my eyes to look at my best friends for their reactions. All three are staring at me wide-eyed, their mouths hanging open in shock.

My unexpected laughter breaks Sirius and Remus out of their daze, leaving Peter with the same expression. "You mean you- Lily- you- and… east wing?" Remus stutters.

"You didn't-?" Sirius asks.

This should be fun, torturing them. They think that we… well, that we were- um, yeah… I laugh again, and roll my eyes. "I'm tired- get off, I want to sleep." I say.

"Nope- not until you tell us what you… you… what you _did_." Sirius says.

I grin. "Nothing too bad."

"So you really did- but Lily- is she okay?" Remus says.

"What do you mean? Of course she's okay."

"Was she crying when she went up to bed?"

"Crying? Why would she cry? I don't usually make people cry by kissing them, do I?" Okay, torture is fun, but only when I'm not trying to go to bed- and right now, I can't exactly stretch out with these three here.

"Kissing?"

"You only kissed?" Sirius says.

"Well, yeah. What were you thinking?" I say quickly. "I wouldn't do anything like that!"

* * *

_A/n: Anway, I just want to say thanks to all those who have read my story! You guys sure do know how to make me feel good! I've not ever put any thanks to ppl on here, so I figure there is no time like the present! These are from different chapters- not just the last..._

_**Candy Cane:** I just got your review, and here's another chapter! Hope you like it as much as you like the others! Thanks for taking the time to read it... Maybe James will have his chance to punch him sooner or later... Yay!! I'm so happy! Your my 12th reviewer... which probably doesn't sound like much, but this is my first fic! Thanks!!_

_**NadaAMGirl: **Thanks! I'm glad you like it!!_

_**Seilin: **Well, you wanted more, you got more! Hope you like this one_

_**HavaBisqitPotter: **Thank you very much, Splinky-Ting2!! I couldn't have ever done this chapter without your help!!! You my most favorite beta ever!_

_**Flame of Desire: **Are all those kisses good enough? :)_

_**ms.minerva: **it is kinda ho-ish isn't it? grins sheepishly but she can't help it... thats just how she is! Kind of like some people we know, eh? But yeah, she does have a bit of an evil streak.. a bit of one... and of course, Lily's mind is brilliant! _

_**Jillie: **I know you sent in your review ages ago, but I keep forgetting to say anything to you.. yes, Lily is a bit vicious- but wouldn't you be if your best friend just decided one day that she wanted to go on a date with the guy you un-officially like? True, Lily doesn't specifically say she likes James, but if Vara was that good of a friend, she would notice... I hope you've stuck around to read my story!!_


	8. 8 Firewhiskey and Frustraion

A Time for Us

Chapter Eight… Firewhiskey and Frustration

We will endure as we pass surely through every storm

A time for us

Someday there'll be a new world

A world of shining hope for you and me..

Vara:

The way Lily walked into the dormitory last night, you'd think she owned the place. Lily is going to regret ever trying to have a chance with him… I'm going to get her back, and I'm going to get her bloody good.

This morning, she got up really late, because she was tired. Well, that's what little Ms. Perfect gets for staying out so late. I don't even care if she was in a sodding detention, I just know that she had a better time than she should have… What kind of answer is 'Bubbles.', anyway? I asked her where she'd been, not the name of her sisters bloody goldfish.

I sigh, and roughly pull a fresh pair of robes from my trunk. Today is Saturday, so I don't have classes…. Which is a relief, because I don't think I could take a full day of classes with that… that… well, her. I don't really have anything to do, and I got all my homework done last night, so I think I'll go to the library after breakfast. I only hope Lily isn't going to be there… I'm going to be working on my plan. I still haven't asked Peter if he'd help me, yet… but I'm positive he will, because I know more hexes than he does, so it won't be a problem.

I stop on the bottom step of the girls' stairs to have a look around the Common Room. Not many people are here, but I can see Lily, James, and Sirius getting ready to leave for breakfast… I can never find Peter when I need to…

I jump ahead of them before they can get to the Portrait hole, cutting them off.

"Hey!" Lily cries, as she runs into me. What a baby.

"What?" I say loudly.

"Watch where you're going!"

"Excuse me?" I ask politely.

"She said 'watch where you're going'. Is it that hard?" James says. I turn my eyes to him and smile innocently.

"Sticking up for your little girlie, eh, James?" I ask loudly, and push my way out of the portrait hole. "Well, that's okay. Perfect things don't always last." I say over my shoulder.

* * *

"That bloody witch Lily Evans cursed me- no, don't just yet… but I do want to get her back… no, we can't do anything to _hurt_ her, I still want to… what? Yeah, but her boyfriend is going to pay… she wouldn't have ever thought of cursing me if he hadn't been there…" I stop, and lean slowly over to peek through the slightly open doorway of an empty classroom.

The Head Boy, Darien Wood is slumped over in a chair, resting his chin in his hand. His big, beautiful green eyes are on his younger brother, Ian.

"But- Dar… your Head Boy- you can't-"

"If we're good enough, that won't matter, E." Darien says irritably. "Well, I need to go talk to Morgana before breakfast…"

Ian nods, and starts walking toward the door- where I'm standing. I jump out of the way, and hide behind the door as it swings open. Darien waits until Ian is gone before turning slowly away.

"Hey-Darien!" I call.

He jumps and looks at me suspiciously. "What do you want? Your name is Mara, isn't it? Your one of Lily's friends." He says it in a way that makes me cringe.

"Was one of Lily's friends… Okay, look, I know this is kind of like eavesdropping, but I heard you in that room back there, and do you really want to get Lily back?"

He studies me nervously, peering into my face like he's trying to decide if I'm lying. I stare back, imitating his blank look.

"Well?" I ask.

"Why would you want to do anything like that to one of your friends?"

I roll my eyes impatiently. "The same reason you want to."

"James?"

"Who else?"

"She made you do this, didn't she? To see if I would really try to get her back for something, right?"

"Fine. If you don't want to help me, I can find someone else, but if you say anything about this to anyone, you'll regret it." I say angrily, and spin on my heel. "You can just find your own way- if she allows you. I'm sure she'd like to know I heard you 'plotting' today with your brother. So would Dumbledore."

"Why would you do that to your friend?" he repeats.

I smile over my shoulder at Darien, hoping beyond hope he agrees to help me… even though Peter would be perfect because it would hurt James more- which would make him need comfort more- causing me tocome into the picture. But if Lily really did hex Darien in front of James, he will automatically assume she hates him… and it would be a big shock if he saw-

"What are you wanting to do exactly?" Darien says suddenly. I jump and look up at him. Those eyes… its like staring into a deep, deep pool… they're beautiful.

I grin mischievously as I lead the way down a flight of stairs leading to the second floor. "Well…"

James:

"You can't tell her! Its not your place to tell, James!"

I stop suddenly to stare at Sirius. The entire week, I've been debating with myself as to whether or not I should tell Lily about me being an animagus. We've been together a little over two months, and we're always honest with each other- something I've never had with a girl. Lily can tell me anything and know that no one else will find out, and I feel the same about her. But this weekend is the full moon, and Moony really needs us. Between Sirius and myself, he can get out and not have to stay cooped up in that old shack, by himself. Last month, I didn't go out with the guys so Lily wouldn't be suspicious. We have double patrol on weekends, so I think it would be difficult to just disappear without an explanation.

I can't leave him with Sirius and Peter- a werewolf is pretty tough to handle for just one large animal- and Peter isn't big enough to help much, except with the knot. But if I leave, then I'll have to have a really good excuse for Lily- one she can't see through. She's pretty smart- and knows when I'm lying. On the other hand, if I tell her about me being an animagus, she'd want to know why I did it illegally. I can't tell her about Remus being a werewolf- he doesn't want anyone to be afraid around him, and I have to say, I understand quite well.

"What do you want me to do? Lie?" I say through gritted teeth.

"Yes, actually, I think that would work quite well!"

"I can't lie to Lily!" I half-yell. He's obviously never tried to lie to Lily about anything serious.

"Sure you can!" Sirius yells back.

"You don't understand, Sirius." I say wearily. "Lily isn't like anyone else- you just can't lie to her, alright?"

Sirius rolls his eyes and shakes his head in frustration. "You can't just tell her about everything, either." He says quietly.

"I don't want to tell her everything! Not about that, at least… Its just that- well, you wouldn't understand." I say. I promised Lily I would never tell anyone about her being an animagus, and I meant it. "She's been so honest with me, I have to be honest with her!"

"You mean you would pick some girl over one of your best mates?"

"What?" I ask, my eyes wide.

"We've all been friends since just before first year, and after all we've been though, you plan on chucking it all out the window for _her_?" he says.

"Look- I just want to tell her that I'm an animagus- I'm not going to tell her why, or how, or anything- and I most certainly won't say a thing about you, or Peter- or Remus!" I dejectedly. I'd never even considered betraying my friends. I just want to be straightforward with my girlfriend.

"And I say you should ask Moony first!"

"Who said I wasn't going to?" I bellow.

Sirius snorts in a disgusted way, and turns to go, but I throw out my hand, and catch him in on the arm.

"Sirius- I can't explain it, okay? I know I've only been with her for two months, and you have all been my friends for ages, but… I think I love her, Padfoot…" I trail off. Sirius snaps his eyes to my face, just as I look down quickly at the floor. I only hope he understands how much she really means to me.

"You… what?" he says skeptically- which gives me the impression he never wanted Lily and me together in the first place.

I stare at him wide-eyed for a moment, before turning around and walking slowly out of the dormitory, praying that he won't follow. If my friends aren't okay with me having a long-term girlfriend, I don't know what I'll do… I can't pick.

"James?" Sirius calls just before I close the door.

I stop, but don't turn around. "What?" I ask calmly.

"Do you really love her?"

"What do you think, Padfoot?" I say over my shoulder, and start down the winding stairs.

"Are you really that bored?" I jump and look up guiltily at Lily. We're doing paperwork- my least favourite part of being a Prefect. Every night this week, we've been up past midnight, leaving me more exhausted than ever- and Lily taking notes for me in class. I've been worrying about whether or not to tell her about being an animagus, too- if I tell her, then I won't feel bad about trying to lie to her, but then again, I'll also be 'betraying my friends' as Sirius says. But if I don't tell her, I won't be able to explain why I have to get up and run out in the middle of doing our duties that night, and I'll be lying- which is definitely something I'm trying to avoid at the moment. After the big argument with Sirius, neither of us has brought it up again- we just act like nothing happened and I definitely haven't said anything about Lily again. Sirius, following my example, hasn't either, but I've noticed every time Lily and I are together, he gives me a puzzled look like he's trying to see for himself if I really love her or not.

And its times like right now, when we're alone, when I wish I could just tell her those three simple words- but I can't. I know I love her, I just can't tell her.

"No," I lie.

She narrows her eyes, and tilts her head to the side a bit, smiling slightly. "You're a bad liar, you know." she says decisively a few moments later, nodding with satisfaction at her conclusion.

Bloody hell! How does she always do that? I told Sirius she could see straight through me. "Yeah, I guess I'm not. Remus is always telling me that," I mutter.

"Well… should we go patrol, then?" she says slyly. "I'm sure someone needs to- er- _check _the Prefects Lounge, don't you think?"

I snort, and watch as she rolls up her parchment, and tosses it on the nearest table. Lily's audacity amazes me. Before, I'm sure she never would have thought of sneaking off anywhere- for any reason. And here she is, wanting to slip off in the middle of the night, to be with _me_.

* * *

"Lemon breeze," I say once we reach the mahogany door opposite the one that leads to the Prefect bathroom. The door clicks and opens about an inch, revealing a large room with numerous armchairs, each with the Hogwarts crest embroidered on the tall back, and done in at least one of the colours of a Hogwarts house. A long couch sits proudly in the middle of the room, with fluffy cushions, and over stuffed pillows. Four mahogany tables circle the fireplace, each with four chairs to match. Bookshelves line every wall, containing everything from books, to Potions ingredients, to butterbeer. Pictures of past Headmasters and Prefects hang above the shelves, completing the room. The Prefects Lounge is possibly Lily's favorite place to be, after the library, of course.

She takes a step inside, glancing around to be sure no one else is here, then turns to me. "So… its good to see that no students are out of bounds, in the middle of the night, for… whatever reasons- in the same place we happen to be, eh?" she says, and pulls me into the room by my collar with a smirk.

Remus:

"Padfoot, shouldn't Prongs be done by now? Its almost two…"

"Him and Lily are probably _busy_, Moony." Sirius replies from his four-poster, . I snort, and toss my pillow at him. He tries to dodge, but does so unsuccessfully, and it hits him in the head. "Fine, check the map." he says, waving his hand towards James's side of the dormitory.

I nod and slide off my four-poster. I walk over to James's trunk, and dig through it, pushing robes and Quidditch books aside- the only things that occupy his trunk. At the very bottom, a piece of folded parchment is lying innocently under a book. I pull it out, and take it over to my bedside table, to find my wand.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good," I say, tapping the parchment. Ink starts oozing out from the point where I touched the parchment in faint lines, making its way all across the yellowing parchment- the Marauder's Map.

flashback

"Peter? Where's James and Sirius?" I ask Peter as he walks through the Portrait Hole.

"I haven't seen them since Trelawney's class this morning," Peter says, and tosses himself into a nearby armchair.

"You mean they didn't go to dinner with you?" I ask slowly.

"Or lunch!"

"Odd…Neither of them ate- and they were late to breakfast. Not to mention James wasn't in Arithmancy, today, either…" I say.

"Definitely odd." Says a voice behind me, causing Peter and me to jump, then twist around- only to see James smirking at us in a smug way.

"Least we know your alive, now," I say as I turn back to the forgotten book in my lap.

"Aww… Moony! You were worried about us?"

"No."

"Well- that's too bad, because Sirius and I- er- finished_ a certain project of ours…" James says innocently, turning to run up the stairs._

Peter and I share an unbelieving look before running up after him.

I push the door open- a bit more aggressive than intended- and run over to Sirius's four-poster where he and James are leaning over something- the map.

"You got it? Why didn't you come down and get us sooner?" I cry, seizing the parchment- just to be sure this isn't some kind of sick joke. We've been working on the Marauder's Map for at least a year or more- since they found out I'm a werewolf. This is one way to help me in my transformation… we're still working on getting them to be animagus'. Not that I think they should, of course, but I do hope they get it- my monthly transformations are extremely painful, and I hurt for days after… I was quite taken aback when they came to me and said they all wanted to learn how to transform with me, to help me. I could never have friends more loyal.

Thin lines are sprawled all over the parchment- the whole of Hogwarts. Nothing is impossible now.

"Well… we started messing with it early this morning, before breakfast… then, during Divination, we started talking about it, and figured we were close… so we missed lunch- then our afternoon classes… and here it is!" Sirius says proudly.

"Definitely worth the sacrifice," James says, as his stomach gives a loud rumble.

I watch a pink dot with the words 'Lily Evans' above it make its solitary way towards the Library- only to be joined with another- 'Vara Markson.' Those two are never apart.

I scan the Great Hall, which is still half full, then the dungeons, where Slytherins are wandering about, finally settling my eyes on Gryffindor Tower- where four blue dots are clustered together in the top dormitory on the boys side.

"Peter- get up and run around," I say.

Peter frowns, but gets up and starts tripping around the room.

"This is great!" I breathe, as the dot labelled 'Peter' goes in circles on the map- just like the live one before me.

"Oh…" James jumps off the bed to face us better. "I meant to tell you! I got my form, too!" he says happily.

"Your form?" I ask quizzically.

"Animagus!" Sirius cries.

Peter and I turn our eyes to James- they've been working on that for two years, too- and we've been doubtful lately as to whether or not they can get it…

"You- you got it?" I whisper. They have no idea how much this means to me- and I still can't believe they're all willing to sacrifice so much for me. If they get caught- we'd all be in trouble.

I look over at Peter- his mouth is hanging open, and his tiny, watery eyes are popping. He can't believe it, either.

"He's a stag!" Sirius adds, grinning like mad.

"What about you?" I ask slowly.

"Nah- but I'm sure I'm close… the first time you do it properly, you see this bright red light, and I'm almost positive I've seen a bit of pink… but earlier, when James and I were working on that- we needed a quick break from the map, you see- and I saw the flash of red light, and I thought I had it- but it was our pal James, here. It was quite funny by the time I realized it wasn't me, it was him… I was all excited to have mine, when I realized I wasn't any shorter, so I looked over at James- but instead I saw this huge, silvery stag standing right about where Peter is." Sirius says with a grin.

"You know… I think we need to come up with nicknames for all of us- Remus is Moony, obviously, but I think we all need one- that has to do with our form…" James says thoughtfully, stroking his chin in a knowing way.

I laugh, and stare avidly at the large bottles in Sirius's hands.

"Are you sure we should drink that stuff? Its supposed to be really strong, you know, and I don't-"

"Aww, come on, Moony! Remember- we all swore we'd give it a shot when we completed the map, and well, I think its completed, except for the name… you need to live a little, anyway." James says brightly.

I reluctantly take the bottle from Sirius, and grimace as James and Peter eagerly take theirs and pry the lids off.

"Prongs!" Sirius says suddenly, causing us all to jump.

"What?"

"James is Prongs- get it? Stag… antlers… Prongs!"

We all nod, laughing, and put the bottles to our lips.

"Ready?" Sirius says. "Okay- on three! One… two… three!" he says loudly before taking a swig of the firewhiskey.

I slowly raise mine, and take a tiny sip. The peppery liquid goes down quickly- but leaves my mouth feeling like its on fire- hence the name, I suppose.

As one, we all cast our bottles from us to the floor, where they land with a crash.

"Water…" Sirius pants. We look at one another, then start laughing, coughing, and sputtering as we fall to the floor.

end of flashback

My eyes wander along the parchment, checking to see if any of the labelled dots in Gryffindor Tower are James and Lily… but they aren't in the tower, according to the map.

But where else can they be? Fifth and sixth year Prefects don't usually patrol after midnight- I know, because I was a Prefect with Lily last year. But then again, knowing James, he convinced her to sneak off somewhere…

"Erm… Sirius? Since when was there _purple _dots?" I ask uncertainly, staring keenly at a large lavender coloured dot… in the Prefects Lounge.

"Purple? I've never noticed purple." Sirius says as he pushes himself off his mattress, to come look at the map. "Hey! That's Prongs- and… and _Lily_?" he says incredulously. "Since when does she sneak out? Prongs must _really _have a bad influence on her..."

"Yeah…" I say absently as the dot splits in two- one pink, the other blue.


	9. 9 What?

A Time for Us

Chapter Nine... _What?!_

_A/N: Hello, again! I just hope anyone who is still reading won't get too lost on this chapter.. it is a bit confusing- but really, if I do lose you somewhere along the line, just click the little button down there that says 'Go', you know, to review for me? Ooh, wouldn't that be ffffuuuunnnn? I think it would... :) I love reviews almost as much as I luv pink! (My favorite color ever) _

_Oh, yeah, one more thing, it took me forever on this chapter, because not only do I have loads of homework, but I have band, and I'm always tired, so I'm sorry if it takes me ages to post the next chapter, I'm sorry! Even though I've had it planned out in my head for.. well, a long time... yeah.. so, anyway... here's the next chapter... _

Lily:

"Remus, is James back from Quidditch practice yet?" she asks as she plops comfortably down onto a cushion next to me.

I look up and smile. "No- he said something to me about that fourth year beater, Morgan or whatever her name is needing extra help, so he is staying out for a bit to help her.. Sirius, too, I think. But if they don't get up here soon, he'll never get all these essays done- he's been putting them off for days, and over half are due tomorrow.."

"Right.. well, if he gets back soon, tell him I need to talk to him-er- well, I want to at least- he doesn't have to go and find.. Yeah.. if you see him, just tell him..." Something is on her mind, I can tell that much. Lily has always been quite easy to read- most of the time, that is, and quite obviously, she's worrying right now.

"I'll tell him, Lily." I smile.

She smiles back sadly, and looks around the Common Room, eyes landing on a rather large stack of parchment waiting on the table, tied neatly with a scarlet string. Her smile fades to a deep scowl, and she glares unhappily at the top parchment. "… Bloody prefect duties…" she mutters.

I smile knowingly. I've been suspecting James isn't doing his share of their duties lately. I don't think even Lily shows him how much work McGonagall leaves for them. She knows he's had enough with homework, and Quidditch. Sure, James is smart, and he has the same classes as Lily, and they get the same homework, but she's always had a knack for being smart- without much help. She can do her homework twice as fast as the rest of us. James is very intelligent, too, don't get me wrong, its just that he has Quidditch, homework, Prefect duties, and a girl- everyday.

"Lily? You okay?"

"I'm peachy." she says cheerfully, but I can hear a tiny hint of sarcasm in her voice- something you'd hardly expect from Lily Evans.

"Do you want me to help you with all that?" I ask, writing my name with a flourish on top of my parchment. "I've just finished with all my essays," I say, leaning back comfortably.

"Well.. you don't have to- its not your responsibility, or anything.." she says slowly. I can tell she wants my help, but she doesn't want to make it appear that she can't do it. Always trust Lily to be modest about getting help. "I'll just ask the fifth years to help me tomorrow, they owe me a favor, anyway, I patrolled last night for them.." she says sadly, placing the parchment back on the table. She sighs deeply before getting wearily to her feet. "I'll be in my dorm.."

"Hey, Moony! Up for a game of wizard's chess?" Peter says brightly as he falls happily into a large armchair.

"Where've you been?" I ask, rolling up my Potions essay.

"Nowhere.."

"Who's the girl, then?"

"What? How did you know?" Peter cries, springing out of his chair. Yet another person I can read easily.

I laugh and change the subject- watching as Lily tries to sneak off to her dormitory- carrying all of James's books.. his homework. I guess that while Peter and I were talking, she took them- why would she help James cheat? They're going out, yes, but Lily Evans never cheats. Then again, she never lost points or got detentions, or got kicked out of class.. until James Potter strolled into her life.

"Lily?" I call.

She turns around before going up the girls' stairs. I open my mouth to ask her again if she wants help with all her work, but before I can, she smiles weakly, and hurries out of sight.

I frown. "What is with her?" I sigh.

Peter blinks stupidly and tilts his head to the side. Obviously, I lost him.. again.

Lily:

"Hi, Lily!" I look up slowly as Tina Wheeler takes the seat across from me. I try my best to smile at her, but my heart just isn't in it.. I can't believe Vara did what she did.. "What's wrong?" Tina asks.

I sniff, hoping my eyes don't look puffy from all my crying. "Vara.." I mutter.

"Oh.." Tina says quietly. "You can tell me about it, Lily- I won't tell anyone."

"I know.." I say. "I really shouldn't be that upset by what she said, I'm just a little stressed out, you know?"

Tina nods, and I feel a rush of gratitude towards her. I need to talk to someone, then, I guess.

"Ever since I've been with James, Vara acts like I've betrayed her, or something.. well, I guess in a way, I have, haven't I?" I groan, and lay my head down on the table that I've been sitting at for the last half hour. "Well, whatever- my point is that she's been positively horrible towards me and James- when really, I don't think James has done anything to her.. I was walking down a corridor before dinner, and I heard Vara talking to somebody about getting revenge on me.. but why would she do that? I was her best friend! We've hardly been apart for the last six years, and now, because of this, we can't even look at each other without glaring! I just don't want this to go on anymore! What do I do, Tina?" I say sadly.

Madam Keyes, the librarian, gives me a sympathetic look as she hustles by, showing a student where the Potions section is- when I know she wants to yell at me for being so loud in her library. She probably would, if I hadn't helped her during lunch and after lessons my second through fifth years at school. And if I didn't look so pathetic.

"Who was Vara talking to in the corridor?" Tina asks.

I shake my head. "I didn't see, I stopped before I turned the corner- but I'd know Vara's voice anywhere, you know? I went up to the Tower, to see if James was back from Quidditch yet, but he's out helping one of the kids on the team.. I started to go up to our dorm, but I remembered Vara always goes up there after dinner, and I didn't think I could face her, so I came here, instead.. I'm doing a couple essays that I've been putting off." I say, tilting the parchment so Tina can't see James's name at the top. He's been too tired lately to do much on his homework the last week or so, with the game coming up, so I've been doing some of his homework- I don't even know if he's noticed yet.

"Oh.. well, I'm sorry about Vara." Tina says apologetically.

"It's not your fault, Tina. But thanks for listening to me.. I feel a lot better now." I smile.

"I'm glad. But I should go get started on my essays, too.. if you need to talk, or anything, just let me know, alright?" she says encouragingly. I nod, wondering why it took me so long to notice how human Tina really is. I never knew she could be such a good listener.

"I will," I say, and watch as she gets to her feet, gives me one last smile, before walking out of the library, stopping once to find a book to help with her essays.

* * *

I look back at the stack of parchment in front of me- six completed essays. I'm working on the last one- a rather long one for History of Magic on the Goblin Attack of 1573.

I pile all of James's essays together, on top of the large books, and gather them in my arms, preparing for the long trek up to Gryffindor Tower. I guess I have to go up there sometime.. and its better sooner than later, right? I hope so, at least.

I wish I could have my mum here to talk to. But last summer, she got in a big car accident in Kent, on her way home from work. The muggle police told me the driver of a large truck was drunk, and he was at fault, but I don't think it was an accident at all. Almost every muggle-born student at Hogwarts has had a family member die in an 'accident' in the last year- all of them everyday accidents that anyone could have, but as the numbers got higher, people started blaming them on Voldemort, as his threat grows higher everyday- to wizards and muggles, alike.

Tears fill my eyes once again, as I put the library books back on the shelf; I wave sadly to Madam Keyes on my way out of the library.

James:

(A/N: Um.. Hi.. I just wanna say that in this chapter, "Lily" is extremely _out of character, but you'll see why, I promise! Oh, yeah, and many thanks to my Beta, eh, Cecil? She helped me out A LOT on this part… fluff is bloody hard to write!!)_

"Lily?" I say meekly as I knock quietly on her dormitory door.

"James?"

I jump slightly as the door clicks open. I don't really know why, but for some reason, when Moony told me how nervous she was earlier, it made me somewhat afraid to come up here.

I push the door open slowly, looking around for Lily, hoping nothing is wrong- what if she just wants to be friends, again? We sort of went from her hating me, to a couple, and lately, I guess I haven't paid that much attention to her- but I've been busy. Our first game is this Saturday, and if we win, maybe we won't have as many practices. Wait a minute- I'm not supposed to be thinking about Quidditch right now!

I do a double take as my eyes fall on Lily. She's standing in the doorway of the bathroom, wearing a blue… lacy… thing. Looks like something she borrowed from Vara. Her hair is pulled up in a high ponytail, and she's staring at me in a way that reminds me of.. well, a cat after her prey.

"Lily?" I breathe. "Remus said.. said you wanted to talk to me- and did you borrow that from Vara?" I ask. It was more of a statement, because right now, I'm not really up for talking much- her lips look so kissable, it's all I can do not to run over and snog her.

"Yeah.. you could say that. And why would I borrow something from that beautiful… umm… I mean…. uh… her?" she says.

I swallow the large lump that formed in my throat. This isn't the Lily I know- she's different- and much as I like girls, I'm not so positive I like this new Lily much..

She's kissing me with such an intensity, such a passion that I am breathless. It's almost as if she hasn't kissed me in years… Almost as if she's never kissed me.

Suddenly, I'm on my back… On _her_ bed. "Lily?"

"James…" She says, breathily. She's closing the gap between us quite rapidly.

"What?" I back away from her.

"Oh, James!" She stops for a moment to pull the elastic band from her hair, swings it over her shoulders, and continues her pursuit.

I'm backed up against the headboard. Well, _pressed_ against the headboard is more like it.

She tucks her legs underneath herself, only it doesn't exactly work because _I'm_ underneath her… self…. Or something like that…

She wraps her arms around my neck, pulls me to her, and kisses me with the newfound passion. "James…" She moves on to my neck.

"What?" Ooh, she's found a new spot on my ear.

"I've wanted this for _so_ long."

Ooh, she's found another one! "You.. You have?" Who knew ears could be so sensitive? I'm growing increasingly uncomfortable…

She nods. "Mm-hmm… Haven't you wanted this too?"

I shrug. "Well, I mean, obviously I've thought about it…. But, you know, I guess I just figured that you weren't really ready for it… I mean, if it was Vara…. "

"What about Vara?" she asks sweetly. Almost too sweetly.

I run a hand through my hair. "Well, you told me last week that she'd jump in bed with anything that would look at her sideways. Even Peter."

"Mmm… Peter… Erm… I mean, Ew! Peter! Why are we talking about Vara?"

"I dunno…" I stammer. "What should we be talking about?"

"Who says we should be talking? I've got other things on my mind right now…"

Did she just learn what drives me crazy? How is it that she knows every little unchartered crevice of my neck? "Like what?"

She runs a finger down my chest. "You and me… Here and now." She kisses me and pulls my shirt over my head…

Lily:

"Lily? I thought you were in your dorm," Remus says as I stumble clumsily through the portrait hole. His eyebrows are knitted together, and he's gazing at me in a puzzled way.

"No, I've been in the library. Working on a couple essays.. _my_ essays." I lie, pushing a piece of parchment to the side, so James's name isn't showing- for the second time today.

Remus's eyes go to the books in my arms, which tells me that he knows I did James's essays for him. He's too smart for his own good.

"Your essays, eh? I thought you finished them two days ago when we were in the library."

"Well, you know, I always like to add a bit of extra, just to make sure I get a really good grade on them.."

Remus looks back and forth from me to the staircase. "Erm… James went up to your room ages ago. I guess he decided to just wait for you…"

I smile. "Thanks, Remus. I'm going to go… Erm… Talk to him." I set the books on the couch beside Remus and bounce up the stairs.

I stop in front of the mirror that Vara hung in first year to look at herself, she was a little tart even back then. I stare at my reflection. James told me once that I was beautiful. I don't see it. My nose is too big, and not only that, but I have freckles. I hate them. My eyes are a dull green. I used to be jealous of Vara's blue eyes. My hair is hideous. Red of all colours. _Red. _That's why I like James so much. He always seems to look past the horrible outside and see what's within.

I shake my head and tear my eyes from my pale reflection. I skip over to the door, and quietly push it open with the tips of my fingers, looking around the room for James.

Strange…. I don't remember closing my hangings… Maybe James is sitting in my bed waiting for me. But, he knows that I'm not ready for that. We've already discussed it. A foot makes its way out of the scarlet curtains. I look closer and decide to investigate this strange turn of events. I peek through a crack in the hangings and feel my breath catch in my throat.

I think I'm going to be sick. I clamp a hand over my mouth and run out of the door, silent tears making their way down my cheeks. I feel my shoulder brush something. I think it was Vara's make-up case. Well, good, let the little tart be hideous for all I care!

I run right into something very solid in the common room. Remus is a blob in front of me holding my shoulders. "Lily…" I feel myself fall into his arms. "Lily… Calm down! Tell me what's wrong."

I gasp for air. "J… James…. James… and… V… Vara! Upstairs in… _my_… b-bed!"

Remus's eyes fill with concern and confusion. He pulls me toward him and I sob into his shoulder.

* * *

_Did anyone get lost? I'm sorry if you did! I'll make it up to you in the next one, I really will- everything will be explained!!! Well, I think I'm off to write some more on Chapter 10! _


	10. 10 The Pain Wasn't Worth the Tears or th...

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm bbaacckkkk! I'm sorry, I meant to put this chapter up on Thursday, but, being the procrastinator that I undoubtedly am, I sorta put it off… maybe a couple reviews from all of you will cure me of that next time? Actually, I was quite happy when I checked my mail the day after I put Chapter Nine up- I've finally reached 25 reviews! It may not sound like much, but believe me, if any of you have a story on ff, it's a lot! Well, not so much for some, but whatever, I'm excited! They were all awesome reviews, too- I feel a lot better every time I read them- thanks to all who have reviewed! I luv you guys! But… I hope no one else feels as horrible as the reviewer mentioned below, and if you do, they **why _the bloody hell _are you reading the 10th chapter?! **(sorry for the language, folks!) Alright, well…onto the serious, somewhat boring stuff…

Okay, I got a review that told me my story died in the third chapter. Um.. I got this review on the 9th chapter… which means this person spent a _whole lot _of useless time reading the 6 extra chapters, when it died like forever ago… Yeah, not too sure I understand that one, exactly… but whatever. Another thing mentioned was how Lily tried to say Vara had never been a good friend- but I have to say that I disagree. Lily is a bit… _confused _when she says stuff that makes you think she never liked Vara- she's just upset. She'll get over it all. Lily and Vara have always been very close, and really, they miss each other terribly, but they don't want to show it- you see a bit of that here. But I should also say here that in this chapter, Lily is extremely angry with Vara- but wouldn't you be? She just saw her snogging her boyfriend- I can't blame her. But she still misses the friendship, don't get me wrong. Okay, Vara is still just a tiny bit mad (or jealous, I'm not sure which- maybe both?) that Lily and James are together, but if you'll wait long enough- patiently- you'll see she's actually sorry for it all. Vara has always been a good friend, the best you could ask for, as has Lily.

And the plot dies? Hmm… well, I don't think its so bad, not really. People are still reading it, aren't they? Oh well, I welcome all opinions- even flames. Any suggestions, I'm open to them. Just don't try to kill me, or anything. And _please_ don't say Lily is vicious. Two people have said that, and maybe she is, but please- no more brutality on Lily's behalf, okay? J Thanks! -Meg… -Mel… -Lily… **or w/e you wanna call me!**

* * *

A Time for Us

Chapter Ten…The trouble wasn't worth the tears.. Or the pain

James:

I tear my lips away from Lily's and glance over my shoulder toward the door. "What was that?" I mutter and look down at her…

Only to find large blue eyes gazing at me longingly, and a mess of short brown hair spread across the pillow… Vara Markson grinning innocently at me.

I stare back in disbelief, before pushing myself away from her, falling backwards through the hangings, onto the floor.

"W-what the _bloody_ hell are you playing at?" I cry, seizing my crumpled shirt from the floor, and pulling it roughly over my head.

"James, I-"

"No! I don't want to hear your petty excuses! You- you- you- what were you _thinking? _Are you _mad?_" I yell.

Vara slides off the side of _Lily's _bed, coming towards me.

"Get away from me!" I spit acidly as she tries to wrap her arms around my neck. I throw her arms from me, and put as much space between us as possible.

"James, don't tell me you didn't-"

"I don't _have _to tell you anything! What were you trying to do? Did you- _why _would you _do _that?" Vara lowers her eyes to the ground, avoiding my eyes. "Answer me!" I say in a would-be-calm voice, if my eyes weren't flashing. The only other time I've ever been this mad was last year, when Snape was trying to get Remus expelled because he's a werewolf.

I shudder, trying desperately to understand what exactly is going on. I walked in here earlier to talk to Lily because Remus said she wanted to talk to me, and when I did, Lily kissed me… and climbed on me… and- but it wasn't Lily, was it? That's why she was acting so… so… empowering.

The way she kissed me… it was so fervent- so passionate. I didn't even think Vara liked me. Sure, I asked her on that date to Hogsmeade, but it's not like I wanted to… well, I don't think I really meant anything by it.

I think she's regretting doing... whatever it was she was doing. I hope so maybe she'll learn something from it---not to mess with your friends boyfriend. What if Lily had seen? I'd be in big trouble. But no one was here, thank Merlin, as I think I'll be okay, as long as Vara doesn't get the brilliant idea of telling anyone… that would be horrible.

I don't believe in ever hexing a girl, because... well... I just don't, but I kind of have to draw my wand, just for effect. If I can't make her talk by asking, then I'll try to make it look like I plan on forcing her. I don't really, I just want to show her I mean business.

"Well?"

"Fine…" she whispers. I take a step towards her, so I can hear her better, watching as she fidgets nervously with the hem of the lacy thing she's wearing. "I took a polyjuice potion…" she says so quiet, its barely audible.

My mouth falls open in shock. I knew it was something big... but a polyjuice potion was definitely not expected… "You took- Well, why would you do that?" I ask. I'm quite taken aback, I'll admit, and not in a good way.

As she squirms uncomfortably, I can tell she's close to tears.

I try to steady my breathing and lower my wand, but someone might as well be telling me that I should go get chatty with the Slytherins.

"Because... I-" she stops suddenly, eyes glued to the makeup box laying on the floor near the door. I glance briefly at it before turning my icy glare back to her.

"Because you what?"

"I… I like you… James, I like you a lot."

Again, I can only stare in shock. I don't think I've ever been so astounded in my whole life. What will she think of next to chuck at me? "_You _like _me_?" I'm getting this from my girlfriends best friend? Er... _used to be _best friend?

She gives the carpet the tiniest of nods before turning and throwing herself upon a bed that I can only assume is hers. I don't exactly understand why she would use a potion to make herself look like Lily just so that I would kiss her, it's not like she's a hag or anything, and I feel a tiny bit sorry for her, but that doesn't excuse what she did. There is no way I'm going to let her get away with it this easy.

"Does that mean you have to go off and take a potion to look like my girlfriend so that I'll kiss you?" I say crossly, feeling my temper rise with every word. I take another uneasy step toward her four-poster.

"I don't know why, alright? Lily _always _gets the attention, she _always _gets the guys… everyone thinks she's better, prettier, _smarter_! I couldn't take it anymore- she's too perfect!" Vara sobs. I grit my teeth and sigh. She doesn't mean what she says, I know she doesn't. She's just too upset. "She doesn't even act sorry that we aren't talking… she is always so calm and collected- it makes it harder for me! I don't know what's wrong with me… I haven't had anybody to talk to since she stopped talking to me… I just don't know what to do!"

"Yeah, well, I'm sure it doesn't help that you're being rude to her every time you see one another..." I say, shaking my head and walking slowly towards the door, still trying to comprehended all that I've learned tonight. Vara doesn't hate Lily, she just misses her… I'm positive Lily misses her, too… And it looks like I'm the one who broke them apart.

Vara:

My plan failed.

I knew I shouldn't have taken that bloody potion until I knew he was coming up the stairs… my life is over… James hates me, my best friend and I don't talk anymore, and lately, we've been pranking each other to no end. All right, so she's been on the receiving end of most of them. Fine, all of them. But she got me, too! I'm sure that alarm never set itself forward, and that shampoo- I'm positive it didn't see me walking into the bathroom that day and say, 'Well, here comes Vara, I think I'll make her hair smell like a wet hippogriff.' No, she had a hand in it.

Even if my hair only did stink until I let it dry. Then it got to smelling rosy again... Literally...

But that isn't the point. Not right now, at least. I know it seems like I'm horribly mad at Lily, but if she was to tell me she was sorry, I'd gladly forgive her.

Or does she have the most to forgive? If she finds out what I did earlier, there is no way I'll have a chance of being her friend again… maybe I shouldn't have let Darien talk me into it.

I sniff loudly as Tina walks into the dorm. I twitch the hangings around my four-poster, so she'll know I wait to be alone. A single tear slips down my cheek... but I'm almost positive she saw it. But its not like she would've come over here to talk to me, anyway- she's mostly been with Lily these last couple weeks… she doesn't even try to pretend she worships me, anymore.

Oh, what have I done?

Youve lost your chance of having your best friend back, my conscience says nastily. _You know you miss her. And James is definitely going to tell Lily what you did… there's no way he won't. They're too close…_

I jump and swat the air irritably. I hate having a conscience.

Lily won't ever forgive me. Sobs rack my entire body and feel thoroughly depressed as the thought settles itself into my head.

I can't survive the entire year without Lily. Who am I going to talk to? We confide in each other for everything, and I only wish I could tell her just how sorry I am. Would she listen?

Great, now I'm going crazy, too! I don't think I've ever been so miserable...

Lily:

"Look, Lil, I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you, its just that… Well, I can't think of an excuse, but Lily... Don't take this to heart, please… I think you should move on and find someone else, who will always be there for you, and he'll-"

"James told me just the other night that he'd 'always be there for me!'" I wail, throwing my head back onto my arms, which are folded on the table before me. For the last hour or so, Remus has been here in the Prefects' Lounge, trying to comfort me to no avail. I can't get James out of my head… James's laugh is all I can hear… His fresh, clean scent is all I can smell… His sweet kiss is all I can taste… but the image of him with Vara is all I can see.

And to think I was just beginning to think I was missing Vara… I was going to attempt an apology, but now, those chances are gone- she was just waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on him… I don't know why I even bothered to do his essays for him…

Remus can tell I'm about to start over with a fresh wave of tears, because he wraps his arms tightly around me. "I'll always be there for you, Lily. I've known you since first year, and I swear, I won't ever let another guy hurt you, I promise."

I nod sadly, as the tears start to fall. "Why? Why, Remus?" I sob.

"Why what?" he asks softly.

"Why can't guys be happy with just one girl?"

"Some guys just can't," he says simply.

I bury my head deeper into his chest, listening to his calm breathing. He pulls me closer to him, and I'm sure he can feel my tears soaking through his robes.

"I really liked him, Remmy."

"I know, Lil, I know," Remus whispers.

"What do I do now?" I ask, lifting my head so that I can look into his eyes. He takes a deep breath, and chews his lip thoughtfully.

"I say you try to move on, find someone better for you."

I nod, silently. It may be hard, but I'm going to do it.


	11. 11 Has the World Gone Mad!

A Time for Us

Chapter Eleven… Has the world gone mad?

James:

I think the entire world has gone mad. Lily has been all sad, and I've seen her crying three times. In the last twenty four hours. She won't even look at me. I started to go after her once, but Remus beat me to it. He told me he wanted to talk to her. They ended up walking out to the lake until our first class started.

I haven't seen Vara at all- she's holed up in her dormitory- which, in my opinion, is all for the best. For a couple more days, at least. Actually, I think I might have seen her once, but I didn't really pay much attention to her. Maybe she has been out… I don't even know.

When I told Sirius about the Vara-incident, he got all quiet, and ever since, he's hardly said a single word.

Remus is gone most of the time with Lily.

And Peter… Peter is driving me insane. The silence, which is usually occupied by me, Moony, or Padfoot, has been replaced by him, as we have all been suspiciously quiet. He is doing his best to cheer us up, but we aren't exactly taking to it too well. I think the next time he runs up wearing a long, black greasy wig, I'm going to actually believe it is Snivellus, and curse him to bits.

I _seriously _think the entire world has gone mad.

Well, the Hogwarts world, at least.

"Hey, Prongs."

I look up as Sirius walks through the door, and throws himself upon his four-poster. "Hey." I say quietly.

"You okay?" he asks, lifting his head off his pillow to look at me.

I nod, then sigh. It's not that I don't want him here, but I don't really feel like talking to Sirius. We only have an hour 'til we have to be back in lessons, anyway. But I do want to talk to Lily. At lunch today, I went to sit by her, and she got up to leave. I was definitely confused. So I came up here, instead. I didn't even bother to go after her, obviously she doesn't want to talk to me.

"You're not. I can tell, Prongs."

I frown at him. Sometimes I wish I don't have a friend who knows me better than I know myself. Then again, sometimes it's a bit of a relief. They can tell exactly what you need.

"It's Lily." I shrug, nuzzling deeper into my pillows- mostly to hide my face, just in case I blush at something he says. And, knowing Sirius, he'll try to do just that. He always does when it comes to Lily.

"Oh… yeah. What's wrong with her, anyway? She's been all sad and crying every time I've seen her."

"I know… but she gets away every time I've tried to talk to her. I think she's mad at me… but… Padfoot- you don't think she saw what happened last night, do you?"

I look up in time to see Sirius's look of surprise. He bites his lip, then looks down, and starts plucking at his blanket. "I hate to say it, but she might have, mate." he says quietly.

I, too, start picking at my sheets, needing a diversion.

"But even if you did, you can explain it all to her, and everything will be alright, right? It's not like you had any of it planned, you know." he says quickly.

I nod, making a pile of the strings I've pulled from my sheets. It's kind of relieving, yanking them apart.

"James, she cares for you, it's going to be okay- I think you should go talk to her."

"Since when do you know so much about us? You're the player of the school- what do you know about going up and talking things out with a girl? You've not done it once in your entire life." I say edgily. I know I sound a bit cranky, but I just want things to be right with Lily. Like I let slip the other day, I love her. And Sirius giving me advice on a girl? That's definitely a first. I look up in time to see a large pillow flying at me- not leaving me enough time to duck. "What was that for, you bloody sod?!" I yell.

"I know plenty about girls." He says seriously. I stare at him in disbelief- he just hit me in the face with a pillow and is completely sombre about it. That's another first.

Wow, two in one day. We're making progress.

I blink slowly, and try not to smile. I wait until he looks back down at his blankets before I leap off my four-poster, large pillow in hand, yelling. "A-eeeiiiiii!"

Ooh, I could scare even the bravest of Gryffindors with my war cry.

I hit him over the head, just as he reaches for his pillow.

We laugh, and spend the next twenty minutes, chasing each other with our over-stuffed pillows. I have yet to see a single pillow in Hogwarts that is not over-stuffed. Maybe we got all the Slytherin's feathers out of their pillows.

Um… why am I talking about stuffing and Slytherins?

I barely had time to hit Sirius straight across the face when the door to our room swings open. We stop, pillows suspended in mid-air towards each other, and stare guiltily at Remus as he shakes his head in a disappointed way.

"You two will never grow up, will you?" he laughs, as Peter peeks over his shoulder.

Sirius and I grin innocently, and look around the room. White geese feathers cover the floor, our four-posters, the tables, there are even some in the bathroom floor. I look quickly over at Sirius, who has a particularly large feather stuck in his hair. I snicker, as he look over at me.

"What?" he asks.

I shake with suppressed laughter, then jump as I get hit from behind with another pillow.

Remus…

Oh, it's payback time.

Lily:

Tina and I have been spending a lot of time together. I never really paid that much attention to her, and now, I have to say I honestly regret it. As I've been in a bit of a depressed mood, Tina has waited patiently for me to poor out my soul about everything I feel, and doesn't complain. She knows when to listen, and when to make me laugh. And she can be quite funny.

We had to go to our lessons, but they weren't so bad. After breakfast- which I spent the whole of out by the lake, talking with Remus- we went to Divination, where Vara was told at least a dozen times she is going to die 'a most painful death' if she goes to the Quidditch Match.

Go Gryffindor.

The next class was History of Magic, but as I sat with Tina today, instead of James, I didn't feel the need to cry once. I thought about it, when I saw Vara staring at James in the middle of the lesson, but he ignored her, so I felt a bit better. I did catch him looking at me three times, though. I had to fight very hard to not smile back. Not that he was smiling, he looked almost as sad as I feel, but I just turned back to the game of tic-tac-toe Tina and I were playing. I didn't get more homework than anyone else in the class, though, which is a definite improvement. Usually, whenever I sit with James during this class, we have to do at least two more feet on our essays than anyone else. I guess that since it's quite obvious James and I aren't talking, Binns didn't feel the need to give me extra. James got it, though.

At lunch, my mood toned down a bit. I was sitting with Tina, halfway through my roasted potatoes when James ambled up and tried to sit next to me. The second I realized he was there, I got up and went out to the lake again. Tina went with me, and we spent the entire lunch hour, just talking. We didn't even bring James up. Maybe this whole getting over him thing will be easier than I thought.

Or not. He was late to Transfiguration, earlier, so he had to sit right in front of me. It was the only seat available. He and the other Marauders. Tina doesn't have this class, as it isn't required, so she has Care of Magical Creatures this period. She and Peter both. Which reminds me, I need to remember to ask her if she likes Peter…

So the only empty seats when they came in was the one by me and the empty desk in front of me. Sirius took one of the two in front of me. James started to sit next to me, but I looked up at Remus and mouthed, 'Help me!' so he slid into the seat before James could. James gave me a sad look before sitting next to Sirius.

And that's where I am now. Trying my best to concentrate on this bloody difficult subject, and not look up at James.

Actually, it isn't all that hard, I'm just a bit distracted. That, and before, James would always help me when I needed it.

"Lily?" Remus whispers, pulling me out of my reverie.

I jump and look over at him. "Yeah?"

"You okay? I can help you if you need me to…"

I look up at McGonagall, who is over helping one of the Hufflepuffs transfigure her owl.

"Oh, I'm fine… just not concentrating hard enough…" I say quietly. it's a review lesson, anyway. I'm not so horrible at Transfiguration that I can't do a lesson from fifth year.

Or am I?

I don't even know anymore. This thing with James has got me so confused, I don't even know what to think anymore. About anything.

As the bell rings, James turns around to try to talk to me, but I look up at Remus. "So, did you finish that essay for Arithmancy?"

James sighs, and turns back around to pack his books in his bag.

"Yeah… I finished it last night. It was longer than usual, I think…" Remus says as he piles his books into his arms.

I get up to leave, ahead of the Marauders, so that I won't have to talk to James. I don't have anyone in this class to talk to, as Tina isn't here, and Remus will probably want to talk to Sirius and James before going to Arithmancy, even though I have the next class with him and James.

"Hey, Lily!"

I look over my shoulder just before going out the door. Remus grabs his bag, and runs after me.

"You weren't going to leave me?" he asks.

"Oh… sorry." I grin apologetically. "I thought you'd want to walk with James since the next class is with him."

"Well, I thought I'd walk with you today… so how are you doing? We couldn't really talk much in there, I was going to ask you, but McGonagall had her eye on me, I think…"

I laugh quietly. "I'm doing just fine I think. How 'bout you?" I ask.

"I meant are you doing okay? You know, about James… he said he saw you crying, I was just wondering if your okay…" he says softly.

I sigh deeply, and look at him. "I'll be okay." I say faintly, hoping I sound better than I feel.

Too bad Remus can tell what I'm thinking. He knows I still want James.

"You could just talk to him, you know… I don't think you know the whole story… he hasn't told me everything yet, but I think there might be more to it than you saw, Lil… what if you walked in just as Vara was… trying to… well, what if James didn't want to kiss her?" Remus asks slowly. I know that for a while, he really liked Vara, even if he never said anything. I'm not sure what he thinks now… Vara is a good person- when she isn't pranking me, or stealing my guy. I think that she and Remus would be good for each other, if she wasn't being so… so… what is the word? Oh… _daft _lately.

I'm still hoping to wake up in my four-poster on a nice, pretty day, and have Vara to talk to, and James to hold me… but I don't think any of those things are possible now. Ever.

"I can't talk to him… I'll say something I don't mean! I'm not sure whether I'm angry or upset about the Vara-James thing… I'm confused…" I say as we walk slowly down a set of hidden stairs leading to the first floor.

"He wants to talk to you. He needs to talk to you. He needs to explain." Remus say patiently. I have to say, I've always admired how patient Remus is. If I were him, I'd be shaking me, yelling, trying to make me see. But I don't have to heart to talk to James, even though I know I should. We can't have the awkwardness between us forever.

"I know… but I can't… I don't know what to do." I say weakly.

"Do you still… care for him at all?"

I bite my lip, and look up at Remus. He's waiting with baited breath for my answer; I almost laugh, but can't. "Yes… no. Yes! A little. No- maybe… I don't know anymore…" I whisper.

Remus sighs, and we stop walking. I hang my head, eyes closed.

"I'm sorry all this happened, Lil."

I nod, and clench my jaw, hoping the tears that just filled my eyes won't fall. I won't cry, I won't cry, I won't cry.

Okay, I'm crying.

What is with me lately? I think I'm going mad… or maybe its just the whole world… no, I think it might just be me.

"I just don't know w-what t-to do anymore! I don't know what to _think_ anymore. I can't eat- or sleep- and I certainly can't do school work! I must be going mad, because I can't d-do anything without _him!_ I don't think I can do anything with him, either, though… And I don't know if I want to kiss him, or curse him… hit him… yell at him… hug him or kill him- or- or all of t-them! I want him back so much that it hurts! Not just any k-kind o-of hurt, either… I feel like he's been completely taken from my life, and all I f-feel is… _e-emptiness_- like when my mum died… only that I have to look at him, and _think _of him… and be around h-him! I can't take it anymore! I'd rather leave Hogwarts and just go… away… But I can't…" I cry miserably, furiously wiping the tears from my cheeks with my cloak. "I j-just feel emptiness…" I whisper.

Its only then that I notice there are other people in the corridor… but then my gaze shifts to Vara. She's standing not even ten feet from us, biting her lip, breathing heavily. I think she's about to cry, but there is no way I'm about to feel sorry for her.

I tear my eyes from her, hoping I'm just hallucinating. Please, let me be hallucinating… Please…

I close my eyes, and sink slowly to the floor. I seem to 'sink to the floor' a lot this year, in the middle of some random corridor… apparently, today is no exception.

I feel Remus kneel down next to me. "Lily- lets go up to the Tower-"

"Lily?"

It's Vara.

Just what I need right now.

NOT.

"Can I talk to you? Please?" she asks uncertainly.

Hmm... Seeing as you snogged my boyfriend, have insulted me at every available opportunity, and have been pranking me like mad lately… THAT WOULD BE A NO!

Which reminds me, that was the reason I was going to talk to James last night… I was going to ask him what he thought I should do about Vara pranking me like that. I never did get to ask, thanks to her. She's ruined _everything_.

I take a couple deep breaths, and open my eyes. I look at Remus, who is staring at the floor, like he finds it extremely fascinating. I put a hand on my bag, and get to my feet.

"I have a class to attend." I say shortly. I walk the rest of the way down the corridor, to the Arithmancy room, Remus trailing after me. I did, however, look over in time to see him give an anxious glance down the corridor… where James is standing. And he's looking at me.

Don't tell me he heard everything I said.

I turn around, and try not to let everyone see how panicky I feel…

I swallow hard, and as a fresh wave of tears hits, I run as fast as I can away from James, and Remus, and all these people… I just need away.

* * *

"Umm… Lily?" says a voice above me. I groan, and pull the blanket up higher over my head. "Please get up! We've been worried about you…"

I lower the blanket a bit to look at McKenzie Henderson, a Hufflepuff prefect in my year. "Why? I'm fine… I just need sleep." I say, squinting in the bright light of the candles floating next to the couch.

"Lily, you've been there since… almost three o'clock this afternoon…" McKenzie says.

I sigh. "What time is it, then?"

"Nine…"

I look at her over the top of my blanket. "I'm fine, really. I just… I need to be alone for a bit, please?"

"Alright… I'll tell them your doing homework, then…"

"Thanks, Kenzie." I smile at her. I've always liked the Hufflepuffs. They don't judge people, and they don't care if you're a pureblood, or not. The first day on the train, I met McKenzie, and we were both disappointed when we didn't get into the same house. That was also the day I met Vara… and James.

She smiles at me before walking out of the Prefects Lounge.

Have I really been here this long? I don't even remember falling asleep. I laid here and cried for a while. That, and I don't think I could possibly even look at my four-poster without getting sick. Not after I saw Vara and James in it yesterday. I slept in the Common Room all night. I came here because I didn't think anyone would think to look for me here.

Guess I was wrong.

At least I didn't wake up to a whole crowd of people who wanted to talk to me. This way, I can slip out of here without being noticed.

Sirius:

I think I'm mad.

Correction: I think the whole world is mad.

What I was thinking ten minutes ago when I agreed to look for Lily down _this _corridor, I don't know. James and I have been looking for her since we got out of our lessons, and we split up so we could find her. He said he was going off to check the Common Room again, and the library, and he sent me to search a bunch of random corridors. I could have picked any other corridor in the entire bloody castle, but I picked the one where Lily really is.

Yeah. Thanks, mate.

I was walking along the fourth floor corridor on the east side, thinking wistfully of a large slice of pumpkin pie, when I ran straight into something. I was so caught off guard, that I fell backwards. In a most graceful way, of course.

"Sirius?"

I look up. "Oh, sorry, didn't mean to run into you… and knock you down." I say with a grin. I know Lily is James's and all, but… well… I think I-

NO. I won't be thinking of how much I like Lily at a time like this. I can't, not when we're here, without James, alone, in the middle of nowhere, with-

Wait. Did I just say I like Lily Evans?!

I'm definitely mad.

"That's okay… my fault, too.." Lily says.

"Where ya been?"

"Prefects Lounge… I'm heading for the Tower, wanna come with me?"

"Oh… sure. James sent me to look for you, anyway. He's worried sick over you… He seemed to think the only time you've ever skived off lessons was when… well, I can't even remember what he said, so lets go, shall we?" I say, offering her a hand to help her to her feet.

She frowns. "Why would he be worried over me? Doesn't he have Vara to _occupy _him?"

"What? No, he-"

"I didn't want to hear it from him, and I'm not in any particular mood to listen to it from you, either." she says.

I clench my jaw and look down at her.

Spiteful little wretch.

She doesn't even know the whole story, and she's trying to cram words in my mouth. I don't think so.

"Look, Lily- I think you need to-"

"Oh, sod off!" she yells. I take a step back, in shock, staring at her wide-eyed. Did she just _yell_ at me?

Merlin, she's so cute when she yells.

NO! I can't think like that- I don't really like her, I just think I do….

She lets out a frustrated groan, and looks up at me. "I'm sorry- I just… well, I'm in a bit of a tetchy mood…" she says apologetically. "I'm just so confused- I can't believe that he would… oh, no…" she says, as a tear slips down her cheek. "I told myself I wasn't going to cry on the way up to the Common Room…"

My heart starts beating wildly, and I can't help but catch one of her tears with the pad of my thumb. I don't want to see her cry over a guy.

Okay, I can't help it… I brush the hair of her flushed cheeks, noticing for the first time just how many freckles she really has.

"Sirius- I can't- please, don't-" she whispers, as I lean down closer…

A/N... don't you just loovvvveee cliffhangers? I had a lot of fun with this chapter.. i got a new keyboard yesterday, and I've spent like the last 24 hours, typing... My family thinks i'm crazy! Hehe- thats the fun part, though, eh?

Oh, yeah, and SakuraTree101 Did i get your name right? I can't really tell what it says on this stupid computer, it isn't mine, and the color is all messed up, and stuff is hard to read.. sincerest apologies if its wrong! I usually spend all of Thursday night (after school) typing up a chapter so i can put it up that night, and then I type all day Saturday... so a chapter usually takes me... oh, about AN ENTIRE DAY. I know, I seriously need a new hobby. Lol. Actually, let me scratch that. My hobbies are homework, band (Tenor Saxes ROCK!!), and.. (drumroll, please...)...... my Lily/James fic!!!! Big surprise, huh? Lol.. I have to go, so I can start on my next chapter- hoped you all liked this one!

By the way... I hope to have chapter twelve up on Thursday- thanks to my lovely, new keyboard, I've already started on it- and I know what its going to be called... here, I'll let you all in on that bit, I guess, but only becuase I love all the reviews I've gotten lately.. I feel all warm and fuzzy inside when i read one... right, the chapter is... (drumroll again, please...)

Chapter Twelve... A Mixed Up, Madcap, Muddled Up Blur of Events.

There, now you have that to think about... I promise, it's gonna be fun! Okay, maybe not so much for you all, but I have fun teasing you!


	12. 12 A Mixed Up, Madcap, Muddled Blur of E...

A Time for Us  
Chapter Twelve… A Mixed Up, Madcap, Muddled Blur of Events

_A time for us at last to see a life worthwhile for you and me  
And with our love through tears and thorns  
We will endure as we pass surely through every storm _  
  
…_Previously…_  
_Sirius:_

_My heart starts beating wildly, and I can't help but catch one of her tears with the pad of my thumb. I don't want to see her cry over a guy.  
_

_I brush the hair of her flushed cheeks, noticing for the first time just how many freckles she really has._

_"Sirius- I can't- please, don't-" she whispers, as I lean down closer…_

...Now…

Sirius:  
A series of explosions goes off in the pit of my stomach… some bad… but mostly good. I know I shouldn't be kissing her- she's off-limits to me… but… I think that the thing a person wants the most is what he can't have… and that's too true. 

Wait… did I really just kiss my best mates girl? Uhh… I mean, am I really kissing my best mates girl?

I put one hand on Lily's neck, pulling her closer. She hesitates, then pulls slowly away…

I open my eyes, looking into her fearful ones. Tell me I'm dreaming…

It's not that I didn't like the kiss- I don't think I've ever- ahh- she's crying… again.

"Lily? I'm sorry- I didn't mean to-" I shake my head. Yeah, she still wants James. I can see that much in her eyes. I can see the betrayal and confusion… and fear. Well, it looks like fear. Surely she's not scared of me, is she?

It seems I can do no right lately.

"I- I should… g-go." she says jadedly, taking a quick step away from me.

I let my hand fall limply to my side, eyes closed. I turn slowly to face the wall, resting my head on the cool stone…

There is no way James will ever forgive me if he finds out… No. I've already messed up, I can't keep this from him- he's like my brother.

My only family.

And I've betrayed him in the worst possible way… I know he loves her…

My eyes flash open, and I glare ruthlessly at the wall, before bringing back my fist, and punching it as hard as I can.

* * *

**Lily:**

This. Is. Not. My. Week.

Obviously.

I honestly thought it couldn't get any worse.

At least I didn't have to see Severus Snape in those nasty greying underpants of his. I still have nightmares about that day in 5th year. The day I told James I'd rather date the giant squid… Did I really mean that?  
I don't even know, anymore. It's all so confusing. One minute, I'm so mad at James I could choke him… And the next, I want to run into his arms. I always feel safe in James's arms.

Wonder how many other girls are thinking that right now.

Anyway- I used to feel safe in James's arms. That fits better.

Being in his arms isn't a possibility now. He has Vara after him.  
And I have Sirius after me. I still can't believe he kissed me… Its horrible to know that my boyfriend has a thing for _my _best friend, while _his _best friend has a thing for _me_… and I'm just stuck in the middle. I really need to pay more attention to people- be more observant. Surely, somewhere there was some kind of clue that I missed.

At least I'm not crying anymore. When Sirius first kissed me, I was a bit too shocked to respond- by pulling away, like I should have… So I stood there. Then, I- oh, I don't want to think about it. I'm a horrible, horrible, horrible little wretch… I'm going to die a most painful death for this, I swear… Because I kissed him back.

And I should be hit with a lightning bolt on the spot. Right now.

At least it was only for a second, I realized what I was doing, then I pulled away as fast as I could, really! Its not like I was in for a full out snog session.

And James wasn't there, or anything.

Merlin- even if he was, it doesn't matter. I'm not 'his' anymore. He's got Vara to… fawn over him now.

'But you still like him… and he heard you say so, remember?' says a nasty voice in my head. 'That's why you ran off and hid for six hours, skiving off lessons and missing a rather marvellous dinner in the process.'

I shake my head roughly, a fruitless attempt to rid myself of the evil little voices.

"Lily! There you are!" says a relieved voice.

I look wearily over at Remus, who is walking towards me, his face anxious and concerned. "Yeah, I fell asleep in the Prefects Lounge…" I admit, trying to smile.

"You hungry? We could walk down to the kitchens," he says, checking his watch. "Still half an hour 'til curfew."

I sigh. "Sorry, but I'm really-" I stop as the portrait swings open, and a very annoyed James Potter stumbles through. He glances doubtfully around the room, but his eyes fall on me. I bite my lip and stare guiltily at the tapestry on the floor before me. He looks extremely worried, and I can't help but notice how pale he is.

I finally look up once I realize he hasn't walked over to us, like I expected him to. He hasn't moved at all- except maybe his face. Now I can see a mixture of concern, exhaustion, sadness, and… is that disappointment?

I swallow the lump in my throat and turn to Remus. "The kitchens sound very good right about now."

"Oh… are you sure? It's the perfect time to talk to him…" he says softly, smiling encouragingly at me.

"I can't." I say firmly, my eyes clamped shut.

"I can drag you over," he offers. I snap my eyes open.

"You wouldn't!" I cry, taking a step back.

He smiles, and I can see his eyes sparkle.

"No, your right… I wouldn't want to risk your anger." he chuckles.

I glare at him. James has always said that to me. Remus looks puzzled for a moment, then a look of comprehension comes over his face. "Sorry," he mutters. I think we both learned how touchy I can be on the subject of James, today in the Arithmancy corridor.

"Right, well… I think I'll be off to the kitchens before bed…" I say quickly, stepping around Remus, ignoring James's deep sigh as I hurry past him.

"Lily!" Remus calls, but I don't stop. "Will you wait for me? I'll be out in a second,"

Once outside the Tower, I back into a wall, half hidden in shadow, sliding down to the floor (told you I do that a lot!) to wait for Remus.  
Not even two minutes later, I can hear uneven steps coming towards me.

I back into the corner; it can be a bit creepy, even up here in the normal part of the castle.

I hold my breath as Sirius comes into view, staring carefully at his hand, which is balled into a fist. His jaw is clenched tight, and his eyes are screwed up in pain. Before today, I would have run up to him to see what was wrong… but after all that happened today, I don't think I'm so keen on the idea. He probably doesn't know I'm here, anyway.

I jump as the portrait hole opens, and Remus climbs out. Sirius looks up at him, and drops his fist to his side, his face blank. "Oh, hey, Moony." he says calmly.

Remus looks up curiously. "Where have you been, Padfoot?"

"Oh, you know... around."

"What did you do?" he says suddenly, staring at Sirius's hand.

"Oh… I… was-uh- playing Quidditch."

"You're a horrible liar. You and James both."

"What do you mean?" Sirius says quickly.

"Well, I followed him up to the dorm, and he would hardly say a word to me... but how did you play Quidditch alone, without your broom? It's in the dorm. I saw it when I went up." Remus says thoughtfully.

Sirius shakes his head. "You're too smart for your own good, Moony."

"Yeah, well… we can't all be the handsome, popular Quidditch stars." Remus says with a cheeky grin. "Much fun as this is, I gotta go- it looks like Lily left me…"

"I didn't see her going down the corridor," Sirius says.

Gee, thanks, you _**prat**_.

"I'm over here," I say quietly after a pause.

"Oh…"

"Right, well, I think I'll-just… er- go… find James…." Sirius says quickly, looking up at the Fat Lady to give her the password.

"You can go with us to the kitchens," Remus says.

I tense. He can't go. He knows better than that… He won't go…  
"Oh-um- thanks, but I don't think I should." he says evenly, staring right at me. I shudder, and draw my eyes to a spot on the wall behind him.

"Seems like James has something on his mind… I should go talk to him… or something…" he says quietly, as the portrait swings open.

Remus yawns. "I know something is up with all three of you- is it the same thing?"

"No- who says anything is wrong with me?" I say sceptically.

Remus raises his eyebrows and smirks at me.

Bloody know-it-all.

* * *

**Remus:**

Okay, first of all, Lily, you just gave yourself away when you said that.

"Well, come on, lets go to the kitchens…" she says quickly. Well, I'm sure I'll get it out of her eventually.

* * *

"Oh, come on, tell me what's wrong," I urge. She looks at me over the top of her goblet, then sets it down and chews thoughtfully on her lip.  
"I can't."

"Why?" I ask incredulously. We've never really had a problem being open with one another before.

"Just… because."

"Does it have to do with Sirius?" I ask meekly.

"No…" she says gradually. Liar.

"It doesn't?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Positive?"

"Positive."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"Why can't you just tell me?" I pout. "Please?"

"Its not fair to beg."

"Sure it is… please, please, please?" I drop to my knees, hands clutching her robes.

She laughs, and tries to pull me to my feet. "Get up, Remus! We won't make it back to the Tower on time if we don't go now!"

"I'm not moving until you tell me." I say, staring at her determinedly.

"I… don't… I-can't…" she whispers, hanging her head.

I get to my feet, and pull her into a hug. "It did have to do with Sirius, didn't it?" I ask slowly. I feel her tense, then relax.

"Yes…" she whispers so quietly I can barely hear her.

For some reason, I feel anger coursing through my entire body, and I want nothing more than to hit Sirius- I must be at a breaking point... but I just can't stand to see her look so sad anymore.

"What'd he do?" I ask calmly, carefully pulling back so that I can see into her eyes.

"H-he… found me after McKenzie woke me up… I was walking back up to the Tower, and he- he found me… I asked him if he wanted to go up to the tower with me… and he got me started off on James again, and Vara- and… well, I sort of got mad and yelled at him… but… then… he- he k-kissed me…" she stutters.  
I take a deep breath, and try to stay calm, for Lily's sake… but it doesn't work too well… my jaw clenches, and my hands tighten into fists.

We stand in silence, each with our own thoughts, while the house-elves scurry around us, putting dishes away.

"Lily- its almost curfew, we should go up." I say in the calmest voice I can manage right now. I know Lily doesn't want me to say anything to Sirius, but right now, its all I can do not to run up to that tower in a blazing temper, and curse him to bits. If Lily wasn't with me, I would.  
She nods, and pushes her goblet and plate within reach of the nearest house-elf, smiling sadly at him.

* * *

I watch her go up the first couple steps of the girls' stairs before she turns slowly to face me. "Night Remus… and thank you."

Her eyes are so sad… and even as I watch, she casts a quick glance over at the fireplace, where Sirius is slumped in an armchair.

"It was nothing… I'd do it anytime… good night, Lily." I answer.  
She smiles weakly, then makes her way slowly up the winding stairs to her room. I know she won't sleep there, though… and I have to say, I don't blame her. She only found Vara and James there last night, after all. I wouldn't sleep there, either. She'll probably get fresh clothes on, then come back down to the Common Room to sleep on a couch.  
Looks like I'll have to drag Sirius up to the dorm so I can yell at him there.

Even as I turn, Sirius looks up uneasily, like he knows full well what I'm about to do.

I walk over to him, drawing myself up to my full height. "What were you thinking?" I whisper angrily.

He stares guiltily at me, with a look that reminds me of a puppy who just made a big mess, and knows he's about to be in for it. _Big_.

"Dormitory- right now." I hiss.

"You'd better hope to hell James hurts you- because if he doesn't, I will!" I growl, and push him though the dormitory door after shoving him all the way up the stairs.

He sinks down onto his four-poster, staring fixedly at the floor.

"Moony?"

I start, then spin around to see James's face leaning out between the drapes around his four-poster. I didn't even know he was in here… "Oh-er- hi, Prongs…"

James pushes his legs over the side of his mattress, staring at us doubtfully. We wait in awkward silence, each waiting for the other to say something first.

I glare at Sirius, silently demanding that he tell James something- anything. Apparently, he gets the message, because he glances nervously at me before opening and closing his mouth several times.

"Erm… James? I guess… well, I… and then it… and, well-um- yeah."

"Damn it, Padfoot!" I burst out impatiently. It isn't fair to not tell James.

Maybe he doesn't want know, but I still feel Sirius should be honest. Especially since it's Lily.

"I don't want to hear anything, Moony," James says evenly, getting to his feet, and pulling his invisibility cloak from his trunk without looking at either of us. "It's alright. I saw enough earlier." he finishes quietly.

"No- James-" Sirius starts.

But James ignores him, opens the door, and with a swish of his cloak, he's gone.

I turn to stare at Sirius again. "You-"

"I know, all right, it was wrong! I've got it!" he cries, throwing himself back onto his bed again.

"Okay, good. Maybe someday you'll get to the point where you won't make any dumb… _mistakes_, that betray others' trust, eh?" I say.

He pales, and looks at me for the first time since we've come up here. He blinks a few times, still staring at me like it's the first time he's ever seen me.

"Ahh… Padfoot, I'm sorry…" I say. I didn't really mean to make him feel bad… And I certainly didn't mean to bring it up. In 5th year, Sirius decided to pull a prank on Snape, and told him to press the knot at the base of the Whomping Willow and follow the passage… being the great dolt he is, he did. I was in the shack- in my monster form. I could've… done just about anything to him, it would have been horrible. I felt so betrayed that Sirius would do that to me… when I trusted him with my secret. I couldn't talk to Sirius for weeks after it happened- I kept away from him, and all Slytherins- basically everyone. It looked like the Marauders where never going to be 'the Marauders' again. We all thought it couldn't be fixed. But then, one day, after a long talk with Lily- I couldn't tell her why we were fighting, as she doesn't know I'm a werewolf- and she made me realize that we only have certain people in our lives for a limited amount of time… we don't have forever. I immediately went to Sirius- and that night, we were the Marauders again. Ever since, we've only gotten closer, and we agreed to never bring it up again. And we haven't… except for my stupid mistake just now. I'm usually a pretty patient guy, I never really get angry, or upset… definitely not to the point where I resort to violence. But it's close to full moon, so maybe that's why I got so angry.

He shakes his head sadly. "No… You're right, Moony…" he whispers.

**

* * *

**

**Lily:**

I woke up around noon today, and was very relieved once I realized I was the only one in my dormitory. Then I remembered its Wednesday. I'm supposed to be in class; which means I'm skiving off lessons _again_.  
For some reason, I have a feeling James didn't go to class, either. I didn't go down to lunch earlier, just in case… Even though I can feel my stomach growling.

I'm lying in the floor, next to my four poster right now, curled up with my favorite book of Shakespeare plays. I love Shakespeare. Something about the way he writes-

I jump as my door flies open in a shower of red and gold sparks. I flinch as it hits the wall behind it, then groan inwardly as James Potter walks into the room, his wand held out.

"Uh... James… what are you doing in here?" I ask quietly, and get weakly to my feet.

"Tina said you've been in your four poster since Wednesday…" Have I really been here this long? That's almost two days! I originally planned to sleep either in the common room, or the floor next to my bed, because there was no way I was going to ever be in that one again… but I ended up needing somewhere to hide. I guess I could try to conjure up a new one. "…and we were all getting a little worried about you in here since we haven't seen you at meals, either… Sirius offered to come up and check on you, but I came instead… we need to talk, Lily."

I shake my head slowly. "I can't- will you leave, please?" I just can't do this right now… I'm not ready to talk to him- especially not after the other night.

"You've been avoiding me. We're going to talk and we're going to talk now, all right?"

"No. I've been avoiding you for a reason, James."

"Lily, you don't think that I would really… Just stop being so thick!"

James cries impatiently, his chest heaving with emotion.

"Oh, I'm being thick, am I? James- you're the one who comes running up here to check on me, then starts _yelling _at me! I've been in here a whole day, oh _no_!" Plus a few hours… I add mentally. "And how do you know I haven't been down to eat? I might have, and you wouldn't know the difference… anyway, I hardly think _I'm _the thick one!" I yell back. Even though we both know full well that I haven't eaten.

James shakes his head. "Lily, I'm not leaving you until you hear what I have to tell you. You've got to listen, or I won't leave." He says firmly. I sigh in frustration, my eyes flashing.

"Bloody hell, James! Don't you understand? I do _not _want to talk to you!" I say angrily. "Just… just go, please?" I say wearily, my voice trailing off. I feel weak all of a sudden… James's eyes grow wide and he takes a step forward to put his arms around my waist, resting his forehead against mine.

I don't even try to pull away. I can't…

"Lily… I love you."

"Y... you… _what_?" I ask distractedly, and snap my head up.

"I love you- I've never felt like this about anyone… I can't tell you how much I love you, Lil."

"Then why are we yelling at each other?" I say quietly, trying desperately to pull myself from his grasp. He can't do this now, or I'll do something I'll regret. "I'll tell you why: I can't ever love you, James. I don't think you even know how strong that word is. So please… if you mean even half of what you said, then let me go- just leave… I can't love you." I repeat, thinking I just made the worst decision of my life.

"Lily, didn't you hear me? I love you and I mean it." he says softly, eyes pleading, tracing my jaw with his thumb gently. "You have to believe me. I need to explain, it wasn't-"

"I can't James! Now let me go!" I say. I can feel my throat clenching, and a prickling in the corners of my eyes- I'm going to cry if he doesn't leave soon. If I cry, then he'll have to comfort me… and hold me in his arms, let me cry… oh, how I miss his arms…

But I haven't been avoiding him like the plague for the fun of it… I can't listen… I have got to be strong- for me.

"Lily, please?" he says, and before I can stop him, he leans down to kiss me… Oh, I miss his kiss, too… "Remember that dream? We're meant for each other- I love you!" he says, once I finally get the nerve to pull away… maybe _that _was the worst decision of my life. "You can't tell me you don't feel the same way- right now- you kissed me back- and your eyes… you may be able to look brave and calm all the time Lils, but your eyes will always give you away." I swallow hard, and look slowly into his hazel eyes. The usual twinkling, dancing brightness is gone- to be replaced with a sad, pleading look.

"No, James." Oh, why can't I just give in? I want him so badly… True, I've said no to him plenty of times before- namely all those times when he was asking me to go out on a date- but it never hurt me like it just did… I feel as if I've just ripped my heart in two pieces- like those two awful words have condemned us both to death. Yes, I do feel the same way… and I guess I did kiss back, and I do believe the dream… but that doesn't change the fact that he kissed Vara.

Okay, I'm going to be strong… I'll say no… but he just said he loves me! I can't refuse him now, can I? I know we're meant to be together!

'He snogged Vara, don't you remember?' says a voice in the back of my mind.

'He loves me!'

'Vara.'

'Love!'

'VARA!'

'Oh, fine…'

"You're talking to yourself… in your head." I say to myself, dimly thinking how absurd this sounds.

James finally releases me, and drops his hands to his sides in a defeated way. I shake my head slightly, then turn to hide in my four poster.

"Lily-"

"Oh, by the way, I did your _homework_ for you the other night!" I say acidly, taking a stack of parchment off my table, shoving them into his hands.

He looks between the parchment in his arms to me, "Lily-"

"Go!" I cry wildly, willing these pesky tears to stop.

"_Fine_! Just stay here by yourself and cry, Lily! I tried to talk to you, but don't count on it again… I'll see you around, then, Lily-Cat."

"You don't have to blame all of this on me, you know!" I sob.

James pauses, staring at me over his shoulder, one hand on the dormitory door, then says, "No, I don't. You put it upon yourself."

"Yeah? Well… at least I didn't snog my best friend!" I say a bit louder than I intend to.

James gives a shaky laugh, and looks at me sadly. "You did."  
I blink furiously and watch as he quietly closes the door. She that's what's been bothering him the last couple of days… he saw Sirius kiss me. But- I don't even like Sirius- he cornered me. I think of him as my boyfriends best friend. My ex-boyfriends best friend, now. But he can't honestly think that I would snog him? He cornered _me_!

I sink pathetically back into my pillows. "You did too, James… but I still love you." I whisper, touching my lips softly with my fingertips… the only remains of my last kiss with James.


	13. 13 It's Just Been a Very, Very Snivelly ...

Sorry its been so long! (What is it? Two weeks now?) I didn't forget, I just couldn't write, not that that is anything new, it just kind of bugs me... Anway, I don't know how many of you have read my new fic, but I really like it- you should go read it and review- it's called 'The Notebook'... I'd also like to point out real fast that this fic is pretty much 100 AU.. Not everything, but mostly everything.. Yeah, I know, I'm just blabbering now... so I guess I'll let you read!

**Disclaimer:** What can I say, I don't own anything... You all know the drill; I don't own it, you don't sue me and we are all just peachy.. right? _This is where you nod and smile..._

A Time for Us

Chapter Thirteen… Hogsmeade Trip

Lily:

On Hogsmeade visits, Vara and I used to try to be the first ones there… we always liked to be the first ones to see the new store or get the first new samples. We never grew tired of racing the other students down the hill, it was just part of the novelty of a Hogsmeade trip.

Today, I'm taking my time. Almost everyone else is already there, buying Zonko's newest pranks and shivering in front of the Shrieking Shack… but me? I just got done with breakfast and now I'm enjoying the silence.

Silence. I haven't had that in a while… ever since the fight James and I had, it seems like he wants to be sure I'm never alone. One of his friends is almost always near me, especially Peter. I usually have a pretty good tolerance for people, but I _really_ cannot stand him. He drives me crazy- he's too… nervous. It makes _me_ nervous that he's always nervous. Did that make sense? Not much I say makes sense anymore. Anyway…

The Christmas Hogsmeade visit has always been my favourite… Vara and I used to sneak out just for the Winter visits… good thing we didn't know that students who stay at Hogwarts for the Holidays get to go one day before everyone comes back.

I think I'll go to Honeydukes first… they're probably my favourite store in Hogsmeade.

I slip in long enough to buy a large amount of my favourite flavour of chocolate- cherry-vanilla, and make my way to Zonko's Joke Shop.

Zonko's is always worth a stop- there seems to never be an end to the supply of new pranks.

As not many students stayed at Hogwarts this year, the shop is unnaturally empty… except for one other person… Severus Snape.

I've never gotten along very well with Snape- whether it be because I'm a Gryffindor and he's a Slytherin, or because I'm not a pureblood, or if it's just that we've always been very competitive over the highest scores in most of our classes. It's not that we're downright rude to each other, it's just that… we have a lot of conflicting opinions.

"Evans-" I jump and twist around to see Snape above me. I don't know how he got so close to me- I guess I wasn't paying much attention. I was just watching him a few moments ago, filling a rather large sack with some nasty looking powder from a large barrel.

"Erm- yes?"

"I mean… Lily… I was wondering if you… if you would like- well, since you're not with anyone, I was just… erm… Would you go next d-door with me to get something to drink?" He stutters, eyes on anything but my face.

"Oh… um…"

Okay, what I want to say here is, 'Heck no! Are you crazy? You're a rude, sneaking Slytherin, and I'm still in love with your least favourite person ever- James Potter!' But there is no way in all of Merlin that I would ever say that. To _anyone._

But… Snape always looks so lonely… I do feel sorry for him. He's very smart, and he's a Slytherin Prefect, but I guess that's all I really know about him. Well, that, and that he's the Marauder's worst enemy. They're always at it, trying to pull a better prank than the last. It isn't exactly fair, since there are four Marauders and only one of Snape. Then again, he is a Slytherin, so if he really wanted, I'm sure he could hold his own.

"Sure… I'd love to!" Except for the part where 'love' is a _very_ strong word and I'm sure I don't mean it.

We walk out of the shop, and I can't help but notice that with every step, he just keeps getting closer… and closer…

So I speed up in the pretence of looking up into the sky to see the falling snow. "Isn't it beautiful?"

"Yes… Beautiful…" he mutters and for the second time today, I realize just how close he really is…

Chills run up and down my spine as he holds the door to the Three Broomsticks open for me… Out of all people imaginable, Severus Snape would not be on the top of my list of polite people… I can't see him as the type that ever holds doors open for girls… especially not after that incident in fifth year, when he called me a 'Mudblood'… Then again, I think he must have just been upset that day.

I only hope James isn't in here… if he is, I don't know-

Hmm… wait a minute… If he is in the Three Broomsticks, then he'll know how it feels to have your boyfriend (Or girlfriend in his case.) with another person… Even though I'm _not _his girlfriend. I know this is mean, but I'm going to get him back… He'll be sorry.

Even if it means that I have to get a drink with a Slytherin.

Not that I have a problem with all Slytherins, it's just that I have a bit of a problem with Snape. It's not everyday you get called a mudblood, but when you do, it's not very nice and I haven't forgotten fifth year.

I jump as Snape clears his throat. He's already lead me up to the bar… And he's ordering us both a butterbeer… One with cherry syrup and two cherries… How did he know that is my favourite?

A feeling of guilt creeps over me as he takes the butterbeers and leads me to the back of the room to find a table. I don't know a single thing about him except that he's a sixth year Slytherin Prefect… And he just ordered my favourite drink. There's no telling what else he knows about me!

"Oh… The chocolate flavour… I imagined you must like the flavour…" he mutters as I slip into a chair. He must've seen my look of surprise.

"Well… I should be getting back to the castle soon… I still haven't done that Potions homework and I have no doubt that it'll take me all afternoon…" I say sometime later as we stroll lazily down the slushy street.

"Oh, well, that Potions assignment was easier than some we have had lately, it only took me a few minutes to finish, it won't take you long at all." Snape says confidently, like he just wants me to stay out here longer with him.

Great, look what I've done now.

"I'm not too good at Potions- I barely got an A on my O.W.L.'s in Potions… the only letter that wasn't an O…"

"Well… I could tutor you some? I might be able to help you some…" he says quietly.

Hmm… Snape tutoring _me _in Potions… On one hand, he _has _been a lot nicer to me today and he isn't as bad as I thought he was… But on the other hand, he's still Severus Snape and I've always known him to be… somewhat… Well, it's suffice to say that he's _still _a Slytherin.

But I do need help on my Potions if I want to be a Mediwitch…

"That would be great!" I say happily.

"It's nothing…"

"Well… thank you for the drink- I had fun today." I say as we reach the steps to the castle.

"Thanks for going… with me… I'll let you know what nights I can tutor you sometime soon- it'll have to be around Prefect duties, of course." he says quietly.

"All right! Well… Goodnight!"

I watch as he nods to the ground and walks through a door to my left.

I really did have a good time with Snape; even if hardly anyone likes him. They just don't know him or take the time to.

But… What will James think when he finds out Snape is going to be tutoring me? Or that I was with him in Hogsmeade today?

I feel a horrible wrenching on my stomach… but I don't think it really had anything to do with the fact that I just fell over a step… I don't even try to move… I just flip over on my back and stare at the wall beside me.

James… Hard as I've tried, I don't think I can really ever be over him… I need him. Every time I see him in the corridor or during a meal, I feel sick to my stomach and I wish more than ever that we were still… us. But we're not and I don't think we ever can be.

I wipe angrily at the tear that slides down my cheek and get hurriedly to my feet. I'm not helping myself much by sitting in some random corridor and crying over something that can't be.

"Lion's Roar," I mutter to the Fat Lady in her portrait.

She frowns and narrows her eyes suspiciously at me before swinging the portrait open.

What is it with people?

I run up to my dorm to get my schoolbag with my books… But don't see it lying next to my table as it usually is…

Oh. One day after I heard a girl begging Sirius to ask James out for her, I ran up here and threw my bag… who knows where. Maybe it went under my bed?

I lower myself to the floor and crawl halfway under my four-poster. Usually, I'm the only one who bothers to keep my side of the room neat, I don't throw things under my bed to get them out of the way like everyone else… So the only thing I can see from where I'm laying is my bag… and a crumpled up piece of parchment on the other side, near the bed skirt.

I reach out carefully and pull the parchment towards me. I smooth it out flat on the floor…

To find a note that looks like it was written and tossed carelessly away… by Vara. All over the page, sentences are written, crossed out, then rewritten again. And everyone of them had the words 'I'm sorry…' One little paragraph stands out especially to me… And I even feel a pang of guilt as I read over it again…

'Lily… I just want to say that I'm sorry… I never meant any of this to happen and I want you to know that I miss you terribly. I think I know why you and James broke up- but I want you to know that it wasn't-'

Wasn't what? That it wasn't your fault? It wasn't his fault? It wasn't what I 'thought' it was? Curiosity seeps through me and I feel a burning desire to know what the rest of that sentence is… Maybe it's better that I don't know, but it still doesn't help that I don't.

James:

I couldn't be more happy now that classes have started again and everyone is back from their holidays. I don't know how much longer I could have put up with seeing Snape so often. If I even thought of leaving the Tower, I'd see him somewhere… Either him or Lily. Both ignored me.

And it wasn't fun. Especially now that I know why they have- neither of them want to face me after their little date… Lily and Snape… That slithering, sneaky, nasty, greasy bat with my sweet, beautiful Lily…

I walked into the Common Room Saturday after playing Quidditch all day with the Marauders and I saw her sitting in front of the fire, doing an essay… She was laying on her stomach, her red hair falling in waves over her shoulders, a large book propped up on a pillow in front of her. She glanced up when the portrait hole opened; her eyes locked onto mine, then she looked down again… But for that tiny instant, I felt like everything was all right between us… At least, I felt like she wasn't furious with me… I'm sure I was imagining things, though.

Things aren't all right with us- she wouldn't be letting Snape tutor her if they were. She knows I hate Snape and she wouldn't do that to me… Under normal circumstances, at least.

"Prongs? Hey- Prongs!"

"What?" I yelp.

"C'mon- bell rang…" Sirius says with a smirk.

"I know it did!" I say defensively.

"Yeah? I can see how watching Miss Evans all through class then staring at her while she gathers her books is more important than the fact that we're about to miss lunch, eh? Completely understandable, mate. But I do have a life and I'm hungry." Sirius says smugly. "Oh- you may be interested in knowing that you're drooling a bit…"

I give him a dirty look over the top of my Transfiguration book as I throw it haphazardly into my bag.

Sirius's grin only widens as he leads the way into the corridor, where Remus and Peter are standing together, looking at a sheet of parchment. "That-"

"Lily? Hey! Lily!"

The four of us look up instinctively to see who is yelling her name…

Then, as one, our jaws drop.

Snape of all people… and Lily doesn't even look mad.

Snivellus… Oh, he'll pay…

I pull Sirius and Remus forward, closer to the end of the corridor, just as Snape, who has his back to me, says, "… dinner, of course…"

I feel all the heat drain from my face and I just know my knees are about to give away. Sure, I know they went to Hogsmeade together, but I've rather hoped it was some sort of "chance" meeting that Snape had planned.

I lean over slowly so I can see Lily more clearly… In time to see her blush.

Sirius, Remus, Peter, and I all hold our breath as Lily grins and says, "Sure! That'd be great! But I have to go talk to Tina about some stuff- so I'll see you in a bit, okay? And thanks, Severus!" She wraps her arms around his chest then bounds happily away.

I groan and throw my bag to the ground at my feet. No way in all of bloody hell did Lily just _hug_ Snape… Especially not after the way he's always calling her a mudblood. Does she really not care that she gets called names like that? Every time I've ever tried to stand up for her before a few times when Slytherins have called her that, and she always got mad…

And Snape is _not _the type of person to let a girl hug him… Let alone a Gryffindor who is better than him at all our classes. I thought Slytherins were all wily, underhanded little sneaks who only cared about themselves and getting revenge on people for-

Hmm… _Revenge_. Could he be getting close to Lily to hurt me? I don't exactly try to hide the fact that I want back with Lily… And Snape definitely hates me… Anybody with a brain knows that to get revenge on someone, you have to get them where it hurts the most. Lily is- without a doubt- my weakness.

Lily:

After Transfiguration, I was trying to be one of the first to lunch and I was already halfway down the corridor when I heard someone calling my name. It was Snape.

As he sprinted down the corridor to me, I noticed the Marauders were coming slowly towards us… Obviously, they were trying to catch my conversation with Snape.

"Yes?" I said brightly, turning my attention back to Snape.

"Oh- er- I was just wondering if tonight is good for your tutoring… After dinner, of course…" he said as my stomach growled. I hate it when my stomach growls, it makes me feel like a pig… So I blushed.

And I'm almost positive the Marauders thought I was blushing because I liked Snape. Um.. No.

I ignored them, even when I heard them gasp. "Sure! That'd be great! But I have to go talk to Tina about some stuff- so I'll see you in a bit, okay? And thanks, Severus!"

I started to run down to dinner, but before I could force myself to, I gave him a hug. What has gotten into me? I don't know what made me do it- I certainly didn't.

Was I trying to make James jealous?

All it did was manage to make me feel extremely sick. I've been sitting here at Gryffindor Table for some time now, I don't even know how long it's been since I saw Snape wander dreamily over to his table. I'm beginning to wish I had gone home for the holidays after all. That way, I could have gotten away from Hogwarts for a bit, I wouldn't have gone to Hogsmeade that day alone, I wouldn't have met Snape in Zonko's, and I most certainly would not be letting him tutor me.

But nooo, I chose to stay at Hogwarts.

Peter takes the seat in front of me, smiling meekly.

Clue Number One that he is up to something. I should have known.

"Hey, Lily! Mind if I sit here?" He pulls the nearest plate towards himself and starts piling it with food.

"Apparently not…" I say irritably. Not that I'm mad at Peter for any particular reason, I just don't really feel like being too happy right now.

"You doin' okay?"

"Mmm… I'm just great." I say, trying not to sound too grumpy. I might be in a bad mood, but I'm not going to jump down his throat- it isn't his fault the world hates me today.

"So I heard the Filstrom Fiddles won their game last Saturday…"

I've tried to listen to everything Peter said, I really have… It just hasn't worked. I don't understand a single bit of Quidditch- except for the part where I know they throw a big red ball around and if you catch the snitch, it gets you 150 points. So now that Peter has started off on cobbing and faking other players, all I can do is nod and smile as he drones on.

Thankfully, I see Snape get up from his place at the table, some five minutes into Peter's one-sided conversation.

"Um… Sorry, Pete, but I've really got to go, I-"

"Here! I'll walk you!" he says excitedly, jumping to his feet, leaving his untouched apple pie on his plate.

"Oh, um, alright…" I say reluctantly.

"So anyway, the only other time that has ever been allowed was in 1835, when Farian Noble…"

I quicken my pace, hoping that if I get out of here fast enough, he won't even notice I'm gone…

"Lily? Where are you going?" Peter asks suddenly. "Are you really getting tutored by _Snap_e?" he whispers. Okay, now I know the Marauders sent him. "-I mean, do you really trust him? Lily, he's a _Slytherin_! Think of all the dark magic he must know- he's known more curses than anybody since we came here in first year-"

"Of course I trust him! I don't have a reason not to, do I? He's willing to help me- and I don't need you to follow me around and try to keep up with me, I can defend myself! All that matters is that he was nice enough to offer help! What do you know about him, eh?" I cry. I take a few steps toward the dungeons before turning back to Peter with a nasty glare. _"And who cares what BLOODY HOUSE HE'S IN?!" _I yell.

I know he is only trying to help and I know I hurt his feelings… But what was I supposed to do?

I shoot him one last glare before turning haughtily back to the dungeons, looking back in time to see him sneaking over to a broom closet across the hall.

I should storm over there and blow that door down- I'll show them… I'd bet everything I own that all the Marauders are presently crouched in that closet.

But that would only make things worse and I don't know how much more I can handle.


	14. 14 Torture Lessons

A Time for Us

Chapter Fourteen… 'Torture' lessons

James:

"Oh, look, it's Snivelly…" I say quietly, narrowing my eyes at Snape as he pushes his way over to the Slytherin table.

"Guess torture- er- I mean, tutor lessons are over, eh?" Sirius adds.

"I think you should go talk to her."

We all turn to stare, wide-eyed at Vara Markson, standing beside our place at the table.

"Why? I can't really blame her for being mad at me. But then I'm almost positive you know the… _reasons_ behind that, right?" I say before turning back to my chocolate mousse and sprinkles.

Remus sighs loudly and tosses the Daily Prophet he's been reading on the bench beside his bag.

"You don't share a dorm with her, though do you? I know all sorts of things about her you don't." Vara says angrily. I give her a puzzled look. "I know I messed up with both of you and I feel the best thing I can do right now is try to fix what I ruined. You belong together. She cries a lot… Over you, I think. Over me- I was her best friend and I ruined everything… She's the best friend I've ever had. She was like my sister… I ruined everything for you, too. You're the best thing that she ever had- do you know that?" Vara lowers her voice to a whisper, choking back tears. "So don't give up with her just yet- please… I can't let either of you go on the way you have…"

Remus, Sirius, and Peter all turn to stare at me as I watch Vara hurry away, tears now falling freely down her cheeks.

"I think she's right." Peter says after a long pause.

"Moony- you and Lily are close- can't you just fix this whole thing? You could explain everything that really happened with James and Vara… Surely she's given you some idea of what she feels about our boy Prongs, here." Sirius says hopefully.

"No, Padfoot. You are all like my brothers- but there is no way that I would do that to Lily. She trusts me with her… secrets and I plan to keep it that way."

"Right, well, I think I'll call it a night." I say hurriedly, getting to my feet.

"Lily… I like you… I like you a lot." I say quietly.

She looks slowly up at me, with wide eyes. "I… I think I really like you, too…"

"You think?"

"I think." She repeats.

"Wh-"

She places both hands on my cloak, and pulls me down closer to her. Her lips met mine in what could possibly be the softest -yet most passionate- kiss I've ever had… Or ever will.

"Babbling bubbles..." I mutter to the door to the Prefects lounge.

At first, there appears to be no one else, then I see a dark shadow curled up in an armchair near the fire.

"Lemon breeze," I say once we reach the mahogany door opposite the one that leads to the Prefect bathroom.

Lily takes a step inside, glancing around to be sure no one else is here, then turns to me. "So… its good to see that no students are out of bounds, in the middle of the night, for… whatever reasons- in the same place we happen to be, eh?" she says, and pulls me into the room by my collar with a smirk.

I look up and see the sleeping form of Lily Evans. I reach for the nearest blanket. The fire may be lit, but it seems like every time I see her, she's shivering. Probably thanks to her potion torture. Erm… I mean, _tutoring_.

Lily:

I've had a pretty good time since the Holidays. Everything has gone great. Just been peachy, it has. Everything.

Except for… well, okay- _everything_.

At first I didn't think this tutor thing would be so bad… Now, I know how wrong I was. It's been a few weeks and my potions grade was already gone up a bit, but I still regret ever going to Hogsmeade that day. I should've stayed in my dorm all day.

To top it all, I got an owl a week ago, from my father and sister… But I don't think Petunia really wanted to let him send it… It was a wedding invitation. Asking me to go. More like threatening me with my life- if I don't go, well- the letter said I'd 'better be there, or else.' I told my dad forever ago that it isn't exactly necessary, but he insisted I should be there.

But it gets worse.

I'm her maid of honour.

All I can say is that there is no way I'm going to be caught dead in the type of dresses Petunia wants to order.

And I have to be there the entire weekend- including all day Friday, 'to spend _quality_ time with Pet before she gets married' apparently. Dad sent Dumbledore a letter, too, because I had to go to his office one day last week. I'm going to leave early Friday morning, then come back late Sunday night.

I have to be there the entire weekend- including all day Friday, 'to spend time with Pet before she gets married' apparently. Dad sent Dumbledore a letter, too, because I had to go to his office one day last week. I'm going to leave early Friday morning, then come back late Sunday night. 

"Lily?"

I jump and look around. Snape is staring at me with- could it be concern?

"You all right? You've been a bit out of it the entire lesson…"

"Oh, I'm fine.. Just tired." I say quickly… A little too quickly.

Snape nods. "Well, you can go ahead and go- the last part of this potion isn't that hard- I can finish it alone."

"Oh, thanks!" I sigh in relief, slinging my bag over my shoulder.

"'Night," he calls out as I walk out the door.

Shivering, I pull my cloak closer around my shoulders.

"Can you imagine-"

"Her in that one?" Vara snickers, pointing to a long, silky wedding dress, with a low cut front. "Nah… It's too-

"Pretty!" I giggle and flip to the next page.

Vara and I found a large stack of magazines under Petunia's bed, while looking for her diary. Magazines like 'Ana Elizabeth' and 'Ms.'… Wedding magazines. We know that Petunia got engaged two weeks ago, but we didn't know she's already been planning the whole thing. On the pages full of dresses, flower arrangements, decorations, and table settings, pictures are circled in bright red… Things that Vara and I find very amusing- like yellow and silver bridesmaids dresses. And daisies_. _

We stare wide-eyed at a large dress, circled many times in red… A lacy dress with a high neck, puffy sleeves that go down to the elbow, and a long train that looks capable of upholstering an entire couch if cut apart.

Then, as one, Vara and I start laughing.

Until the door flies open and the sister of the moment runs in, an expression of utmost horror on her horse-like face. "What are you doing?" She spits acidly, pouncing down to us and snatching the magazines from us.

"…Planning a wedding, of course!" Vara chokes.

We look at each other quickly, then dissolve into uncontrollable peals of laughter.

We don't even notice Petunia glaring at us, protectively clutching her 'Ana Elizabeth's' close to her chest, until she yells, "Out!" She points with one bony finger towards the door.

daisies 

After a sound hour of studying (of which I really only flipped through my book a few times,) I wave my wand, causing the room to go dark, except for the golden glow that is cast by the fire. I pile my books neatly beside my armchair, just as the door opens.

James.

The only person who could possibly make my day worse. Okay, so I do want to tell him I'm sorry- but really, what did I do wrong? Sirius kissed _me_- _I _had nothing to do with it… So other than the day when I completely lashed out at James, I haven't done anything to be sorry for. Well, not that I can remember, anyway.

And, yes, I know James has tried to apologize to me, and I didn't want to hear it, but what was I supposed to do? Fall down at his expectant feet, begging forgiveness? Hardly. I wasn't ever that far over.

Okay, so maybe I was.

Am.

Ohhh- there is no way I just said- er- thought that! I'm not one of those trip-over-their-own-feet-for-a-guy-they're-so-obsessed types… Am I? I can't be! It's James bloody Potter I'm talking about!

'Oh, but you are…' giggles a tiny voice in the back of my head.

'No I am not!' I argue back.

'Are.'

'I'm not going to argue with you!'

'Why not? Afraid we're going to win?'

I shift uncomfortably in my chair and open one eye slightly. James is taking a blanket from the couch and coming towards me… Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no…

I open my eyes slowly and yawn, trying to make it look as if I'm just waking. James stops, still holding the blanket.

I stare wide-eyed at him.

"Oh- erm- you looked cold…" he mutters, tossing the blanket back onto the couch.

"Right." I say shortly, collecting my books in my arms.

"Look- Lily? I'm sorry… Can we talk for a bit?" he asks wistfully.

I open my mouth to say that I have to go, I have homework, I want to eat dinner, I'm supposed to be meeting Tina- anything, but nothing comes out.

"I know you probably hate me and everything- but seriously, the thing with Vara- it wasn't… It isn't… We never-"

"James- I need to g-go," I say quickly.

"I know she was your friend, but she took a poly-"

"I'll see you around, Potter!" I cry, desperately trying to get away.

Remus:

I do wish there was some way I could fix the whole Lily-James fight thing. It's been hard on all of us. Lily still likes James, she just doesn't want to take the chance of getting hurt again. I can't blame her, really, but I do wish they could settle this whole thing. Everybody knows James still loves Lily… except Lily herself.

"Now, now, Lily! What kind of Christmas cheer is that?" Sirius asks playfully.

Lily glances carelessly up at him, then turns back to the book in her lap.

"And I thought green was a good colour on you!" Sirius continues.

Lily looks up slowly, twirling a strand of her wavy red hair between two fingers. "Really? I thought the same about you." she smirks.

Lily and Sirius sent each other the same thing- Christmas cards that dyed their hair when they opened them. Sirius's turned a bright red, and Lily's was streaked with an equally vivid green.

Sirius grins and runs a hand through his hair. "You didn't even leave your new hair colour in very long, Lils! I'm disappointed."

"Which is a shame, because I'm sure you've never disappointed anyone at all, eh?"

"You two are like an old married couple!" Peter chortles.

Five pairs of eyes snap to him. He continues laughing, not realizing his mistake. James has been very irritable lately- especially when the words 'Lily' and 'Sirius' have been in the same sentence. Peter is the only one who doesn't really know why. He can be so tactless sometimes.

James stands up, knocking a stack of Lily's parchment off the table as he hurries by to the boys dormitory. "I… erm… Forgot a book." he says as he disappears out of sight.

Lily frowns as she gathers her parchment.

I glare at Peter, who is still chuckling. "You prat!" I hiss, hoping Lily can't hear me.

"What?" he asks, bewildered.

I roll my eyes and look at Sirius. He leans forward. "You just made James bloody mad, that's what, Worms. And next time you're thinking of making a joke, don't_." he says angrily. _

"Um… I think I'll go to bed… Classes in the morning, you know…" Lily says quietly to Tina. I watch as she takes the book off the table and slips the parchment inside. She looks pale.

"Me too," Tina says, quickly following Lily.

Lily stops at the foot of the stairs. "Night Remus… Sirius."

don't 

"Whatcha' thinking about, sitting here all by yourself?"

"Oh, just thinking." I say, not taking my eyes from the long greyish arm of the giant squid as it sloshes around near the middle of the lake.

"Just thinking…" Lily repeats. "You know, that reminds me… I've been thinking, too… I was wondering if I could ask you a favour? A tremendously huge favour?" she asks anxiously.

I tear my eyes from the spot on the lake to look at her as she settles herself onto the squishy grass next to me. She bites her lip nervously and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "Sure." I say.

> > > > > > > > >

"Moony… Is it true?"

"Depends what you're asking." I say without looking up from my Arithmancy book. How did I know he'd find out somehow?

"You know what I'm talking about. I'm serious."

"You're not. He is." I gesture towards Sirius's side of the dormitory.

James rolls his eyes and drops his bag impatiently. "Why didn't you just tell me?"

"This is why."

"What is why?"

"I figured you'd be angry."

"I'm not angry!"

"And yet you're still yelling at me." I say, calmly turning a page in my book.

"When did she ask you?"

"'Bout a week ago."

"You should have told me!" he says edgily.

"I should have told you what? Tell you I'm doing a favour for a friend? Sorry if I don't keep up tabs on everything I do for you!" I say icily. Damn it. Damn _him_. I knew he would try to make a big deal out of it. "Look- I thought you'd get angry at me, or her- or someone, so I just… Didn't say anything. I'm sorry, Prongs, but I was just going to her sister's wedding!"

James stares back at me steadily, then turns his back to me. "You know, there was a time when I could've said 'It's just Lily.' But now…" he trails off sadly. "I wish it was me she came to for stuff like this… I want her to know that I'd do anything for her… You know, when we were together? I was happy then."

He shakes his head and slowly begins to close the hangings around his four-poster.

"Prongs!" I burst out impatiently. He stops, one hand holding back one of the curtains so I can see him. "If you'd listen to anyone- everyone- you'd go try to fix things will Lily, not sit around and groan about how things were! You should know now that when you want something, you have to try- and the things worth getting aren't easy!"

James looks slightly surprised at my little outburst, but slowly it hits him.

We all know that I'm close to Lily. I know pretty much all of her secrets, they know that, too. So far, I haven't told them anything Lily has said, but I'm beginning to get sick of them fighting so much. James mopes and Lily studies like she doesn't know how to do anything else. Both are acting extremely odd. As long as I've known James, I've never seen him mope about anything for long. He's never been one to let something get him down- he gets back up and tries again. Lily is smart, but she doesn't spend every spare minute in the library, usually. She studies, but she does other things, too. Not lately.

"But-"

"Prongs- there aren't any 'buts' to it. And I don't know how much thought you've putting into this entire thing, but it obviously hasn't been enough. Petunia's wedding is this weekend. _So is the full moon_."

Vara:

I know she found it.

I was practicing on a piece of parchment what I would say to her, if I got the chance… And I'm positive she found it. I know because I couldn't find it a few weeks ago and then it just showed up one day, near my writing desk. I didn't leave it there.

I really do feel horrible about them not being together. I've tried a few times to talk to Lily, but she ignores me. I'd ignore me, too, if I was her. I've begged James to talk to her.

My next option is to stun them both and sit them next to each other. Then they would have to listen to every word I say. They'd both be furious with me, but they'd be back together, hopefully.

Or I could lock them in a room together. _That _might work. Hell, I could even blame it on Snape, or somebody…

I don't know why Lily is taking tutoring lessons with him, but I have noticed her marks have gone up. Maybe she is because she needs something to do with her time since she isn't with James. Then again, she really did need help with Potions, if she wants to be a Mediwitch- she could have just gotten desperate for help.

"Lily? Lily!" I yell.

She spins around and grins happily. "Vara!" We run to each other.

"Oh it's been so long!"

"Too long!"

"Can you believe-"

"About Kate and Beth- I know! I wish they-"

"Were back at school with us, I know! How-"

"Is our year going to be? Probably boring without-"

"Them! And isn't it kind of-"

"Weird to think that we're actually-"

"Starting seventh-"

"Year! It seems like only yesterday-"

"We met on the train…"

"You two really need a life." Sirius Black grins as he pushes his way past us.

"Oh- nice to see you, too!" I say brightly with a sarcastic grin.

"Bloody brilliant." Lily mutters.

Sirius looks atLily curiously. "You hate me, don't you?"

"No. I'm just sad I had to miss tea with my grandma today because I had to come listen to you and your snide comments." She says cynically.

"Well- much fun as it is- we have to be going now!" I say with a fake smile to Sirius and pull Lily into the compartment I saved just for the two of us.

"He is such a-"

"Prat? Dolt?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of dead sexy." Lily sighs.

"What?" Since when?!

Lily laughs. "I got you! That was-"

"Bloody brilliant… Yeah." I grin.

"Um… Vara?"

I look up into the worried eyes of James Potter.

"Yes?" I ask, puzzled. He's never been one to come up and talk.

"Mind if I talk to you a minute?"

"Oh… Sure…"

"All right. I was just wondering- Lily hasn't said anything to you, has she?" he asks nervously.

"No. She won't talk to me." I sigh.

"Well if she-"

"No, oh no- _no_…" I gasp.

"What?" James asks. He takes a step back and gives me a funny look.

"Lily-" I point over to the girls stairs, just as Lily's long red hair flips around the corner.

"She saw us together and-" he groans.

"Came to the wrong conclusion. Again."

Remus:

I think I may be the only person who can fix things between them, now. I'm the only one that is a really good friend to them both… And since Lily didn't come down to breakfast, I find it the perfect excuse to nip up to her room and do a bit of… fixing on James's behalf.

"Hey, Lily? Will you go out with me?" James asks suddenly.

Sirius, Lily, Vara, Peter, and I all look up at him in amazement. He's grinning confidently, but I can tell by his eyes just how nervous he really is.

"Go out?" Lily says slowly, as though trying to comprehend what was just asked. "With… you?"

"Yeah. That's what I asked."

Lily looks quite taken aback for a moment, but recovers. "No."

"Wh- why not?"

She looks back up from her book. "Are you kidding?" she asks, then to one in particular, she says, "Is he kidding?"

James shifts uncomfortably in his chair, then sets down his quill. "No, I am not kidding." he says in disbelief.

"Oh. Well, it's still a no." she says carelessly, turning back to her essay again.

Everyone looks back at James, who just shrugs. "All right, then."

"What do you mean, all right, then_?" Lily asks tensely. _

"Exactly how it sounds. Don't tell me I have to spell it out for you."

Lily sighs in frustration and begins scribbling furiously on her parchment.

"Why do you hate me so much?" James asks some time later. Everyone except Lily looks up at him.

Vara, who is sitting next to Lily looks at James, pleading with her eyes. Everyone at this table has been on the receiving end of Lily's anger, so we all know not to press Lily much. James, of course, being the exception.

About an hour later, Sirius throws down his quill angrily. "I can't work in this bloody library!"

"Me neither… I'm going to see if tea is still being served…" Vara yawns.

"Wait for me!" Peter and Sirius say.

"Lily? You want to come?"

"No… I still haven't done this bloody potions essay…" Lily says quietly, with a sigh.

"I can help you- I got done with that one ages ago." James says eagerly.

Lily watches Peter, Sirius, and Vara walk around a bookshelf wistfully, before turning to James. "I can do it on my own, thanks."

"I was only offering help-"

"Do you really want to know why I hate you, Potter?" Without waiting for an answer, Lily continues, "One: You are so overconfident and it drives me mad! Two: You only ever think of yourself- I don't think you know the meaning of the word 'consideration' and three: you try to use your good looks, charm, and intelligence- all of which come from Merlin knows where- to try and get you anything and everything you want! I could go on for ages with more reasons, but really, the mere idea of thinking of you for that long makes me sick_!" _

James and I watch as Lily storms from the library, leaving her books behind.

"Did she just say that I have good looks and charm?"

"And intelligence…" I add dully.

, all right, thensick 

"Lily? Hey- open up! I brought you breakfast… Or lunch. Whichever you prefer to call it… Please let me in?"

The door to the sixth year girls dorm opens about an inch and one of Lily's bright green eyes peeks through. "Oh, okay… Just a second." she mutters.

As I try to get a tighter grip on the goblet of pumpkin juice in my hand, I hear Lily kicking at something. It _sounds _like she's kicking something anyway…

But when she opens the door, nothing is anywhere on the floor. It's spotless, of course. You couldn't expect something less from her.

"Um… Thanks, Remmy, but I'm not really that hungry…" she mutters and closes the door behind me.

"Oh- well… I figured you might be… I didn't see you at dinner and you weren't at breakfast- I thought maybe you'd slept over or something, so I just brought you bacon and toast… And this goblet of pumpkin juice. At least take it, and keep it for later, or something…" I know I'm drawing all this out… But I'm not about to admit I know the reason she hasn't been out of her dormitory.

She saw James and Vara talking last night.

"Well, no. I was up all night, actually… Didn't sleep at all. And I've already eaten…" She says guiltily, walking over to her four-poster and pulling up the scarlet drapes that hang down to the floor, revealing a particularly large stash of Honeyduke's sweets hidden underneath.

"Oh. In that case," I wave my wand and mutter a spell. The plate of food and goblet disappear. "Then why'd you stay up here?" I ask innocently.

"Just didn't feel like going downstairs, I guess." she says evenly, but even I can see that she isn't exactly meeting my eyes when she says it.

"I don't believe you, Lil."

"Fine. But tell me there _aren't _any more Marauders outside my door, with James's invisibility cloak, where they can hear- and if they aren't then promise me you won't tell them a _single _word I say… Please." she says quickly.

"I promise, Lily- I wouldn't even think of doing a thing like that to you… Never. I promise." I say.

I wait while Lily studies my face, obviously trying to decide whether or not to tell me. Then she pulls me over to her four-poster.

"James and Vara." she says simply. With a wave of her wand, the large pile of sweets appears on her bed.

"I thought it was them- but really, Lily, they were talking- they are trying to find a way to get you to talk to them, I swear. They weren't… _doing _anything you thought they were…" I say sincerely.

"Well… I didn't really think they were, but…" She looks around carelessly, then takes a box of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Beans. "…What am I supposed to think after what I saw back at Christmas? That they were just having a friendly little chat?"

"No. You have every right to think what you will- but only if you knew the whole story. Lily, at Christmas, James didn't really mean to snog Vara. He thought it was you."

"He thought it was me." She nods in a sarcastic way. "So now he's going to use the excuse that he's delusional, or something? James is just as sane as you or me, Remmy."

"No- I mean that… Well, you know that Vara was a bit jealous when you were with James, right?"

"I'd be kind of thick if I didn't know it." She picks up a chocolate frog and peels off the package.

"Well, Vara…" I pause, trying to think how exactly to word this without making Lily mad, or throwing me out… "She was a bit desperate- she missed your friendship and she wanted James. She was quite willing to do anything to get one of you back." I say quickly. Maybe the faster I say it, the less pain it'll be? Doubt it, but it's always worth a try… "Shetookapolyjuicepotion…" I mutter.

"She- she… _what_?"

> > > > > > > > 

Okay, okay, I know. It's been like two months, right? I'm sorry, I really am! I've been trying to write another story (or three) and none of them are working! That and the fact that my computer won't work right- I'm going to have to reformat the entire thing. I could care less about the computer, but I want my text files! There is a ton of stuff saved on there! All right, well, if I don't update for another month or two, don't lose hope for me... I just have writers block! But rest assured, everything will pick up. :)


	15. 15 Tears, Finding Out, and Goodbyes

A Time For Us

Chapter Fifteen… Tears, Finding Out, and Goodbyes

Previously:

**Remus:**

"Well, Vara…" I pause, trying to think how exactly to word this without making Lily mad, or throwing me out… "She was a bit desperate- she missed your friendship and she wanted James. She was quite willing to do anything to get one of you back." I say quickly. Maybe the faster I say it, the less pain it'll be? Doubt it, but it's always worth a try… "Shetookapolyjuicepotion…" I mutter.

"She- she… what?"

**Lily:**

"Look- Lily, I know that you-"

"So James really didn't know?" I ask slowly, letting the box in my hands fall onto the bedspread.

"No… He honestly thought it was you- then, I guess you walked in right after the potion wore off… That's why he's going so mad…"

"He didn't… He wasn't… Oh, Remmy, what have I done?" I mutter.

"He still wants you back, Lily." Remus says gently.

I shake my head, "I can't… I can't just run to him and expect him to take me back- I really messed it up… I shouldn't have been so… _hasty _when I saw them together- I should've listened to everyone when they tried to explain…

"At least talk to him, then." he smiled patiently.

"I- should I?" I asked distractedly.

He laughs quietly.

"What?" I say defensively.

"Nothing, Lil. It's nothing."

"Liar."

"Maybe." he grins.

"Shouldn't you be in class, then?" I smirk mischievously.

"Well… yes… _theoretically_… But there isn't a rule that says you actually have to go to class… You-"

"Only have to finish your work and turn it all in. I know." I finish for him.

He stares at me incredulously, smiling slowly. I smile innocently back and start picking through the sweets, looking for another chocolate frog.

"But, um, Lily… there is something else I need to… to tell you."

"What else can there be?" I ask faintly.

Remus picks up a package of Fizzing Whizbees, playing nervously with the shiny paper. "It… it's not about… well, it's about me. And why I can't go… to the wedding with you." he says quickly.

"Oh… you can't go?" I ask, disappointed.

"I'm so sorry, Lils- I really do want to go… But I have a… a problem."

"All right… What can I do to help, then?"

"No- it's… Nothing can help."

"What kind of problem?"

"This weekend is the wedding- and the full moon."

"The full moon? What does that have to do with anything?"

"It has everything to do with it, Lily." Remus says sadly. I nod, encouraging him to go on. "Every month, it's the same way- there aren't any days I dread more out of the month…" he pauses, trying to find the right words.

Full moon? The only thing I can think of that has to do with the full moon is a w- "Remmy…. You're not….'

Remus hangs his head, doing anything to keep from looking me in the eye. "I am." he whispers so quietly, I barely hear him.

I look over his young, careworn face. Worry lines now seem more evident over his forehead and his eyes clearly show the pain and sadness of telling his secret. Surely he worries about his… condition constantly. What if the wrong people find out? Even as I watch, his hands begin shaking in his lap.

I reach over and put one of my hands over his. "Remmy- it's okay."

He look up slowly. "You… don't care?"

"Well, I care- but only about how much it must… hurt." I say sadly. It must be horrible. "I know that werewolves go through a lot of prejudice- but that doesn't change my opinion of you, just because you are one. You're still the same person I've always known you to be."

"Lily, you don't have to-"

"How long ago did it happen?" I interrupt, giving his hand a light squeeze to silence him.

"I was eight."

"Oh, Remmy…" This makes my worries look like nothing. "I'm sorry…"

* * *

Well, it's been nearly a week since Remus and I talked that day, and ever since, I've basically stayed away from everyone, except him. I don't think I've even hardly talked to Tina.

I almost went to talk to James, one time.

Almost.

But I decided to wait until after the wedding- that way, I'll have more time to think about it all, and I won't have to stress about this bloody weekend.

Another thing I'm a bit… surprised over is Remus. He's a werewolf. It explains everything- I don't know how I didn't see it… I feel horrible, though. He has to go through so much… But somehow, it only brings us closer together. He hasn't told many people, that I know of. As far as I can tell, the only other people that know are the Marauders and Dumbledore, I imagine. In a way, it makes me closer to James, too, even if we aren't talking... yet.

"Well, I'll see you when I get back…" I say reluctantly. Remus smiles sadly.

"It won't be that bad."

"What, the wedding or… well, your weekend?" I ask.

"Both. But I think I'd prefer my weekend." he teases. I laugh and roll my eyes.

"Least you won't have to put up with _Pet_. Not much could be worse." I sigh, looking down at the letter in my hand- it's from Petunia, of course.

"Lily… I really am sorry I can't go- I would if I could, but there's, you know, not much I can really do…" he says, watching me stuff the letter roughly in my pocket. I look up at him, and see that he looks truly concerned- and tired. Tomorrow night is the full moon- I imagine he does get pretty exhausted about that time.

"I know- I understand… It isn't your fault, Remmy…" I smile sadly. I look quickly down at the floor so he won't see the tears in my eyes. "It- isn't like it's going to be fun, right?"

"Lily-" he bends his knees so he is at my level. "Don't cry… I really am sorry!" he whispers.

I nod. "It isn't that, Rem… I wish you wouldn't have to… to…" My voice cracks and I'm unable to go on.

"Lil, it isn't like it's the first time, I promise I'll be okay. I promise." he says. I look up quickly at him.

"Does it hurt?" I ask, blinking back tears.

"No." He looks down at the floor.

Nodding again, I bite my lip. I know that isn't the truth- and he knows I know it.

"Lil, I think you should get to sleep, okay? It's late and you have to get up early. I don't want you feeling bad all day tomorrow." he says suddenly.

"Seven isn't that early…" I argue, but he give me one of his do-what-I-say looks. "All right, I will- but not unless you go to bed, too." I wipe my cheek with the back of my hand.

He smiles slightly. "I will."

"Okay… See you Monday, then." I try to smile back.

"It won't come soon enough, but when it does, the moment I see you, you'd better smile for me- I hate seeing you sad, Lil." he says softly.

Yet again, I nod in response. "Night, Remmy."

"Night."

I turn to go up the girls stairs, but pause, mid-step. I look over my shoulder- good, he's still there. I hurry back over to him. I smile at his look of curiosity and wrap my arms around him. He hugs me back and I hear him sigh in relief.

He smiles as I kiss his cheek and pull away.

* * *

**James:**

I look up at them as I give orders to my pawn, taking one of Sirius's bishops. But my mind isn't really on the game. It couldn't possibly.

I know he's my best friend, and I'm more loyal to him than anybody- but right now, every once of my body is positively _green _with envy. And I hate that feeling.

All she did was hug him and kiss his cheek. And all he did was wipe away her tears and hug her back. I know that they weren't talking about any normal, light conversation. It was a good-bye-until-Monday conversation. Which probably wasn't any fun for either of them, as they both looked sad and have completely horrible weekends to look forward to… But still, if I could ever be someone else, even for just a weekend, I would be Remus at this moment, when he's holding her hand and trying to get her tears to stop. They're not holding hands in a boyfriend/girlfriend I want-you-so-bad sort of way, it's just a friendly thing, but still… I wish I was _him_.

What am I talking about? I'm _not _the jealous type.

Until it comes time to Lily. I'm different around her. Better, even. Except for the jealousy thing. I'm only jealous because I'm not with her. Boy, do I wish I was.

"Prongs, it's your turn…"

I jump and look at Sirius. "Wormtail, how 'bout you finish up for me, eh?" I mutter, pushing myself out of my armchair. Peter nods excitedly.

Remus and Lily are still talking quietly… I won't look up… I won't look up…

Damn, I looked up… At her. Merlin, I miss her emerald eyes, so quick to flash with anger… So quick to soften with understanding… So quick to sparkle with happiness.

"So… 'til Monday?" she says to Remus. She notices me walking by and looks up. Our eyes meet briefly. I get chills up and down my spine just from that one look. It was sadness, sorrow, exhaustion. But it was also what looked like relief- and understanding.

"'Til Monday." he agrees.

* * *

**Lily:**

I couldn't help but look up at him when he walked by. I couldn't. I didn't mean to- but I did.

And when our eyes meet, I felt much better, for some reason. I can't explain it, it was just a good feeling. I think Remus noticed my sudden change in mood, because he looked over his shoulder, then smiled back at me.

I could only laugh out loud and skip up the girls stairs. Even though James was still right there. I felt _that _good.

But that feeling will probably not be there in the morning, when I get to get up at seven- on a _Friday_, which would normally be a day to celebrate, as it's the last of the week- and floo home, where my evil sister will be impatiently waiting for my arrival, so we can go to her _darling _Vernon's house. After that, we're going to eat lunch with him, then the entire afternoon will be spent at the church, where she's going to be married on Saturday, for the dress rehearsal. Then, we have to eat dinner, with the _entire Dursley family_. Just bloody great. I couldn't imagine a more perfect day. HA!

From now on, I'm sure everyday will be perfect for me. Seriously, I will never complain again. Not about my day, at least.


	16. 16 Starting OVer And the End

Hey, I just wanna say that I'm sorry to everyone- it's been like four months or whatever since I updated- my computer had to be re-formatted. It couldn't been done like the day after I got it fixed, but I didn't want all my text files to be trashed, so my brother had to copy all of them off my hard drive, then fix my computer and then put them back on here- it was a big mess. He only comes down once a week, so it's been like ages since I've had my lovely little computer. I'm so happy, though! I finally have it back… May I just say that I had to hand write all of this? It took me _three _notebooks and like four pens! Sooooo much scribbling and crossing out. And the arrows everywhere? Waaayyyy confusing. I do sorta like it, though… BTW: I heart you Splinky! (ROTFLMAO)

And just so everyone knows… This is the last chapter! I was going to do one or two more, but I think it is good where it is. I need more time for my stupid English class, anyway! I'm hardly keeping up with the others in my class. (It's an honors class) Right, well, thanks to all who read and reviewed!

Chapter Sixteen- Starting Over (The last chapter!) Here we go...

**Lily:**

"Clean the bloody house, my _arse_..."

With a sigh, I slide to the floor, my back against the wall. I only got home this morning- to find a note from Petunia. It was only long enough to say I'd only just missed them... Also enclosed was a somewhat extensive list of chores. Bloody mad, she is.

Who needs to go to a wedding rehearsal, anyway? It isn't like I wanted to go. Especially not to lunch with Vernon's family. I've heard all about his sister, Marge- and, in my opinion, the farther away, the _better_.

Then again, the list _is _pretty long. Prat.

Now I'm almost happy that Remus couldn't come. Not that I like being by myself for an entire day, but I'm sure he doesn't fancy a whole day of cleaning, either. That and the fact that I look absolutely horrible, as I've been cleaning for the last six and a half hours... I have soap suds in my hair, dust smudged on my face, and soot on my knees. I'd rather no one see me like this.

I jump as someone knocks softly on the door- which happens to be right by my head. Somebody has got bloody bad timing.

I try to flatten my hair, as I'm sure it's not at it's best. Why couldn't they have picked a better time to go calling? Pushing myself up off the floor, I wipe at my dust-covered cheeks (in vain) and take a deep breath. Probably some little kid selling cookies. I pull the door open, smiling.

A tall man with black hair has his back to me, looking out over our yard. Guess that's a no to the cookies, then. Damn- I wouldn't have minded a few ginger snaps right now. That's when I realize he's wearing not only a pair of normal muggle blue-jeans and trainers... but a long, dark cloak... A wizard? Here, on Privet Drive?

"Uh... Hi. What can I do for you?"

My mouth falls open in shock as the man quickly turns at the sound of my voice and grins. So much for no one seeing me like this...

"J-James..." Potter. It's _Potter_. Not James. "What are you... How did- why...?" I groan inwardly. Why do I always manage to stutter when Jam- er- Potter is around? I always make myself look like a fool.

"Oh, you know... I was in the neighborhood."

Raising one eyebrow, I cross my arms over my chest. "The neighborhood. Jame- er- _Potter_, you live at Hogwarts- which is at least a few hours away."

"Nobody knows where it is exactly, do they?" he shrugs.

"I know bloody well it isn't going to be on Privet Drive!"

"Okay... You have a point. And you caught me." he says offhandedly, leaning against the frame of the door. He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks up quickly. "But I have a point, too. I came here because I can't take it anymore. I really need to talk to you."

I look away, focusing on my pair of shiny black Hogwarts shoes, near the door. I open my mouth to say... what was I going to say? Looking down hurriedly at my feet, I notice for the first time my feet are bare- oh, how embarrassing...

"Please, Lil?" he says, suddenly looking very tired.

"Okay." I whisper, bending down to pull on a pair of my father's boots. I don't really know if I agreed because of the way he asked, or if it was what he called me. I always loved it when he called me that. I take my Hogwarts cloak from the hook, shrug it around my shoulders, noticing fully the dull ache that is growing in the pit of my stomach... I really do miss him. A lot. I glance hastily up at him, relieved to find him looking out across our yard again. I pull the front door shut behind me.

"Want to go for a walk?" he asks.

I look up curiously. It's freezing out here! "Sure." I reply.

We walk, side-by-side down the short walkway, to the sidewalk by the road. I feel his eyes on my face, but I avoid looking up.

Shuffling awkwardly in the large boots, I kick impatiently at the pathetically brown tufts of grass, the ones that you can always find sticking up from between the cement blocks of the sidewalk. I give a slightly vicious kick at one tuft in particular, waiting for him to say something. _He _found _me_, surely he doesn't want me to go first? I have to admit, I'm at a loss for words- just a bit. How did he find me here? Why did he come to find me? What could be so important that he would practically run away from Hogwarts to tell me?

Again, I can feel his eyes on me. I look up in time to see the funny look he's giving me. I can't really blame him- I'm still covered in dust and soot from the fireplace- so I offer an explanation. "I've been cleaning all day."

"Oh." He nods and shifts his attention to a small park on our left. At the same time, we turn toward it.

We walk the short distance to a set of swings. I sink down into one, coiling one arm around the chain. James watches me, before taking a deep breath.

"James? What are you really doing here?" I blurt out. Damn, I called him James. It's supposed to be _Potter_!

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That night-"

"Oh, that." I interrupt, frowning.

"-but Vara, she-"

"I know what Vara did." I say quietly.

He stops pacing, one hand in his hair, to look at me. I stare back. "And I know now that it wasn't your fault. Remus tried to explain it to me before- _you _tried to explain it to me- _Vara _even tried to explain it to me once- but I never listened. I'm the one who should be apologizing." A single tear falls slowly down my cheek... Whether out of happiness or sadness, I don't know.

"Lily..." He looks a bit confused. Well, not confused, really, just... okay, yeah, confused.

"I'm so sorry, James."

His hand drops to his side, and he frowns. "I want you to know there never was anything between-"

"I know." I admit.

He takes a steadying breath and smiles slowly. "All right, then..." He walks around to the back of my swing. "Shall I push?"

I give him a funny look. What, are we four years old? "Sure." Okay, maybe it could be a bit of fun.

* * *

**James:**

"You call this house clean!"

Lily flinches as a tall woman with a long neck and very unattractive mouse-brown hair pushes her way past Lily, who stands, holding the door open, to the kitchen. This must be Lily's sister, Petunia. She has a long neck, big, brown eyes in a pale face, and bright red lips. A long tan skirt hugs her lower half tightly, with a puffy, white blouse that reminds me of a cloud. I shiver just at the sight of the woman. "Hi, Pet." Lily says dully.

Petunia turns sharply, fixing Lily with a nasty glare. "_Don't call me that_!" she snaps.

I protectively take a few steps closer to Lily.

"Where's daddy at, Petunia?" Lily asks politely.

"He's still out, obviously. First time in months. Personally, I think he's still disappointed that you didn't go to mum's funeral." Petunia says harshly, giving me the impression that she loves to make people feel bad. She casts a quick glance around the room, looking with disgust at our dirty dinner dishes on the table. We were in the middle of eating when she barged in, throwing insults every time she opened her mouth. She sneers at me. "-so this is why you haven't got all the cleaning done!" she says acidly, gesturing in my direction.

What, does she think I can't hear her? I _am _still in the room, after all.

"Actually, no, _he _isn't the reason. I doubt anyone could get through that entire bloody list and still come to your high standards, Pet."

"I told you not to call me that, you-"

"I'll call you what I want." Lily says slowly. I feel a sudden warmth radiating from Lily as she narrows her eyes at her sister. Petunia shudders and takes a step back; she must've felt it, too.

"I'm going to spend the night with Vernon tonight. I don't think I could stay here." Petunia says, giving me another glare. "And this house had better be perfectly clean when I come home tomorrow! You know all of Vernon's family will be here!"

Lily watches her sister go, somewhat regretfully. She frowns as Petunia slams the door shut, sending a cold draft of the night air across the room. She shivers.

"She horrible." I mutter, taking my cloak from the couch to wrap around her shoulders.

"She right." Lily says faintly.

I look up at her quickly, frowning. "About what, Lil?"

"Mum's funeral. I should have gone." A single tear falls slowly down her cheek- not for the first time today.

"Lily-"

"I didn't go because I felt horrible... The last time I saw her, we were arguing... she didn't want me to go back to Hogwarts. I told her I had to go- it's a part of me. I couldn't just not go back... Sh-she still said I should stay at home, with my family, and go to a normal high school, so I got a bit angry... You know, I don't get angry often, but when I do... Anyway, I packed up all my Hogwarts things and left." Tears pour evenly down from her eyes. "The next day, I got the letter. She died- while I was playing _Quidditch _with Vara and her brother. And I was _angry _with her! For not wanting me to go to Hogwarts... For speeding on a dark, rainy night... For leaving me here- without even a good-bye..." I watch as she collapses onto the couch, completely dissolved in tears. I lower myself onto my knees, next to her. "But most of all, I was angry because there wasn't a thing I could do about it- and it was all my fault!"

"Oh, Lil..."

She looks up at me, her large eyes very bright. "See how horrible I am?"

"Lily, listen to me." I take her trembling hands in mine. "It doesn't make you any worse just because you didn't go to your mum's funeral. You loved her and she loved you- don't let your sister make you feel bad over all of this, all right?" I push the stray hair from her face. "Don't think about all that- think of the good times- the fun times when you two were together. That's how she wants you to remember her."

She takes a shaky breath and looks up at me. "How do you always me feel better?"

I smile and put my hand on the side of her cheek. "You're wonderful- it's the least I can do."

She laughs quietly, looking down at her feet, a light blush on her cheeks.

"Anyway... I'm here- and you're going to get in a lot of trouble if you don't have this house clean tomorrow."

"Urgh... I _hate _cleaning."

"Yeah? Well, that's why I'm here. To help." I chuckle.

"You don't want to help, trust me. The list is bloody huge... It's almost nine o'clock, I doubt- even with the two of us- that we could get done. Besides, we'd both get filthy."

"I already knew _that_, Lil." I snicker.

"What is that supposed to mean?" she says playfully, poking me gently in the side.

"It means, Lily-cat, that I could tell the moment I saw you this morning that you had been cleaning something. You had soot on your face. And dust… Oh, and soap suds." I say seriously, trying not to laugh at the look on her face... A look of mixed surprise and embarrassment. "Which is okay, because I'll look like that before long, too, no?"

"You'd better believe it..." she mutters.

"Jamsie- you've got a bit of something on your nose, there..." she teases. I look at her over the top of my glasses and snort.

"Not as much as you do."

"Wouldn't doubt it, honestly." she laughs, but stops suddenly, with a yawn. "I'm done for tonight." she sighs and looks back up at me. "How about you?"

"Sure."

"It's a shame, though. That bit on your nose doesn't look so bad." she teases, cheeks flushing crimson.

"Oh?"

In one rapid movement, I reach out and seize her waist with my hands. Tickling her furiously, I wrestle her to the floor, both of us laughing wildly.

* * *

**Lily:**

Tickling. What is it with _tickling_? I always end up getting tickled by someone. Honestly, people must see me and say, 'Hm. Today won't be complete until I tickle Lily.' Because they do. You'd think, though, that as much as I get tickled, I'd get used to it, or something. But no, I only ever get more ticklish, if anything. And it isn't fair.

And really, I was only thinking it- I wasn't planning to actually say what I did... It sort of came out flirtatiously, didn't it?

Not that I mind... And I'm pretty damn sure James didn't either.

Giggling like mad, I slowly roll onto my side, James still tickling me.

Then, with one quick movement, I have James on his back. Sometimes, I am really glad to have all male cousins. They taught me this useful little trick a few summers ago to use when my dad tickled me, as he so often used to do. It almost always works, even though I'm not very big in comparison to the people who have that strange desire to tickle me- namely my father. And now, James.

"Okay- okay! I give up!"

I grin triumphantly down at him, eyes twinkling... And notice fully for the first time the... awkwardness of our situation. He's laying on his back, in the middle of our parlor. And me? Well, I'm sort of... sitting on him, stradling his well-toned stomach.

The oddity of our position also dawns on him- because he blushes a bit, too. I let out a shaky laugh and start to roll off him- but he grips my waist with his hands, and pushes himself up onto his elbows. I look down curiously at him, my stomach suspiciously full of butterflies all of a sudden. We've been on speaking terms for about the last twelve hours... and I'm already straddling him in the middle of my house.

One of us is going to have to move, or I might do something very naughty... Like kissing that very-kissable mouth for a very long time and then... Oh, sweet Merlin...

* * *

**James:**

I don't really know what made me do it- it was more of an impulsive move. Not that it really bothers me- because I really do like her a lot, it's just that we've only-

All traces of doubt and confusion leave my mind as Lily starts to lean down- ever so slightly...

I inhale deeply- taking in her familiar scent...

And just as I push myself up a bit, the sound of crunching gravel is heard outside. Lily freezes, staring sadly at the front door. "Not Petunia again..." she mutters. "Come on- let's go hide upstairs... I don't think I could bear seeing her again..."

She pushes herself out of my lap and heads toward the stairs. I get disappointedly to my feet to follow her. We were _so _close... Close, but no quaffle. ((Get it? Instead of cigar… lol- I thought it was funny…))

"Well... here's your room. Mine is through the bathroom..." she says, pushing a door open halfway down the hallway. "Dad thought Remus was going to be here- so he made this room up. It was Petunia's until a few weeks ago, when she moved out... Hope it's okay."

"It's nice." I say, looking around at the room. Almost everything is red and gold, Gryffindor colors. Must be a coincidence.

"Anyway, I'll leave you to... sleep, or whatever it is you want to do."

"Good night, Lily. And thanks."

She stops, one hand still on the door.

I take a timid step toward her and kiss her hesitantly on the cheek. She watches me, looking slightly breathless. I stand, unmoving, one hand still on her waist.

She looks over her shoulder, in the direction of the parlor as the front door closes with a click, then smiles at me suddenly. "Good night, James."

I watch her back slowly from the room, staring intently at me.

As she disappears, I sink onto the large bed. "I love you." I whisper.

* * *

**Lily:**

Slowly, I open my eyes. I can hear someone downstairs, in the kitchen. Urgh- it's probably my dad. He came home last night, and-

Well… I'd rather not think about _that _right now.

I swing my feet out from under the covers and switch my pajama bottoms for a pair of old jeans and pull my cloak on. Sliding my feet into the closest pair of shoes, I tip-toe through the bathroom, to James's door-

Just as he pushes it open. I stare guiltily at him, then smile easily. "Morning!"

"Going somewhere?" he asks lightly, walking over to the sink. He takes his toothbrush from the counter, where he presumably left it last night, and looks expectantly at me.

"No. I was just seeing if you were awake yet..."

"Uh-huh. I bet you were, because that explains why you're wearing your cloak and shoes. In the _house_."

As he says this, I notice he's only wearing a pair of boxers. Like I said, he has a _very _nicely toned stomach- thanks to Quidditch, most likely. Blushing furiously, I look quickly back up into his face. His eyes sparkle, like he knows what I'm thinking.

"Right... well, I think I'll go get breakfast..."

I don't trust myself around him when he's only half-dressed. Especially not after last night- I almost snogged him!

But it was an accident. A trick of the light. A spell. It was _something_, I just don't know what.

I close the bathroom door as I leave, knowing fully well that he's watching me go.

I make it all the way down to the back door before I hear someone say my name. I turn curiously- only to find my father sitting in a chair near the refrigerator. He knew I'd be going for a walk. Prat.

"Not now, Dad!" I hiss, opening the door sharply.

"Lily-"

I ignore him, slamming the door behind me. Okay, so maybe I didn't have to act like a stuck-up little twit, but I did anyway.

Stopping on the back step, I look out over our small back yard. Everything is brown and ugly- as it always is in February. I've never particularly liked this month. Brown is a horrible, depressing color. Nice time for Pet's wedding, no?

Walking briskly to the back fence, I place one hand near the top, as far as I can reach, and pull myself up. I pause, one foot over the top of the wooden fence, to look back at my house. It looks horrible and depressed, too.

I fall with a heavy sigh into the same swing James pushed me in yesterday. I wrap my arm around the chain and press my forehead to my hand.

I don't know what to think right now. Sure, the whole fight with James really got to me, but this... this is huge. I've never felt so betrayed in my life.

And it's by my own father.

"Thought you said you weren't going anywhere."

I look guiltily at a now fully clothed James as he sits on the swing next to me.

"This isn't just anywhere to me."

"What are you doing out here, Lily?" he asks.

I frown. "What are _you _doing here?"

"I _thought _you were about to go somewhere, but when I heard the door slam, I knew."

"How'd you know I'd be here?"

"I got the impression that this park isn't just any normal place to you. Wanna talk about whatever it is that's bothering you?" he says hopefully.

I look down at my feet. Should I tell him? Of course! I lo- er- really like him.

"Mum used to bring Petunia and me here when we were kids... She used to push me in this swing... It was even here that we started arguing about me not going to Hogwarts. That, and dad has always hated this park, for some reason."

James nods. "You know, Lily, it's about two degrees out here. Did you just decide to up and take a walk at... six-thirty in the morning?" James asks quietly. I look up at him, then at the dark sky. He does have a point.

"After I took you up to your room last night, I was in my room, almost asleep, when dad came in my room- it was him that drove up when we were… in the parlor, not Petunia. Anyway, we went downstairs, and he told me he's getting married." I say angrily, kicking at the brown- horrible and depressing- grass at my feet.

"Oh, Lil..." James says, as though unsure of what to say. Of course, I'd be a bit confused, too, if my girlfriend was as angry as I am over my father getting married.

"Mum died last August. Six months ago, James. _Six months_."

Wait- did I just call myself his girlfriend? I look over at him. He's staring straight up, at the sky. "Weird thing, isn't it?" he says so softly that I have to lean forward in my swing.

"What is?" I ask, suddenly feeling extremely calm.

"Love." he sighs, dropping his eyes to the ugly, depressed trees at the other end of the park.

"Yeah. Love." I say absently. That word seems to come up a lot lately in my thoughts- especially when I'm around James.

"You know, I never did tell you everything I wanted to yesterday." he looks over at me.

"Wh-"

"I need you Lily."

"W-What?" I breath. He pushes his swing back with his feet, nervously and looks at me fearfully before continuing.

"And I'm so sorry I messed things up the way I did- I feel horrible about it- I haven't felt like... _me _since that night that Vara... Anyway- my point is, I wish it hadn't ever happened..." He looks away, with a shaky breath. I lift myself from the swing. "I just-"

Didn't we go over this yesterday?

I reach out and put my hand over his mouth. He looks up quickly. "I know, James. I know." I whisper, eyes locked onto his.

He watches me for a moment, then sighs in relief. Chills run up and down my back as his warm breath tickles my hand.

"I know what really happened- what Vara did... I'm sorry I ever doubted you- I should've known better- I can't believe I ever thought I didn't trust you. I do trust you, I know that now- I just wish I'd tried to find out more then... Ever since that night, I've felt like part of me is missing, James- and that part is you... I need you, too- you have no idea how much..."

He stares at me, his eyes wide. I allow my hand to fall limply to my side. That look in his eye scares me- not afraid-scared, but anxious-scared. Maybe he doesn't want to be together, after all... I wait, hoping- praying- for him to say _something_...

After a long pause, I reluctantly turn to go, my cheeks burning with embarrassment. "Lil..." he says quietly, putting one hand on my arm.

I stand, eyes on my black swing. He gets to his feet, and puts his thumb to my cheek, gently wiping away the tears. He smiles slightly.

"I really am sorry, Lil." He wipes away another tear.

Without taking my eyes from the fascinating swing, I slip my hand into his. "Me too." Even though I could say it a billion times and he wouldn't know how much...

"Look... Lil- can we start over?" James asks. I look up at him.

"All right." I say, laughing quietly, even through my tears.

"James... James Potter." He grins at me, eyes twinkling.

"Lily Evans." I smile. He winks, takes my offered hand and kisses it lightly.

"Charmed."

My smile fades.

"You okay?" He looks concerned.

"Do you believe in love at first sight, Mr. Potter?" I ask, without hesitation, staring intently at him.

James:

"What?" I ask stupidly.

I must be thicker than I like to think...

"Do you believe in love at first sight?" she says again, green eyes still boring directly into mine. Not for the first time, I get the impression that she can 'read my thoughts' as muggles like to put it.

"Well, I... why?"

_Where is she going with this?_

"Why? Because I only just met you, but I do believe I love you."

"You-"

"I love you, James." Her cheeks grow slightly pink and she smiles patiently.

I put my arm around her. "I love you, too, Lily- you don't know how much." I breath.

She gets up on the tips of her toes and captures my lips with hers. I take a small step forward, pulling her closer to me. With a contented sigh, she wraps her arms around my neck.

This is _exactly _how it should be.

* * *

So… this is it! We're finally finished. I liked the way it ended… This was my first fic- and really, I think it's _all right_, but I've done better since I wrote this. I think I might do a sequel-type thing, but only because I think I can do better than this one. Hopefully, anyway.

And thanks to everyone who ever reviewed, you guys are awesome!

OH, hey! If anyone could just drop by one of my other fics and review, that'd be awesome! I've got two more on here- and two on portkey if anyone would be so kind as to check them out… I'd be mighty grateful!


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